


Just Say Something

by Anime_or_scifi



Series: Just Say Something [1]
Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety, Blow Jobs, Eren has a speech problem, Eventual Smut, First Date, First Kiss, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, Mild starvation, Near anxiety attack but not quite, Rating will go up, Stuttering, barista! Levi, ereri, im bad at writing smut, my poor bb, not that it matters but I Am Legend spoilers, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:48:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 50,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4867127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anime_or_scifi/pseuds/Anime_or_scifi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Eren gets nervous or scared, he has a stutter or often messes up his words. He can be quite self conscious about this, especially around a certain barista that he's had his eye on for quite some time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>(I suck at summaries.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Be it in fear

**Author's Note:**

> Ayyyy, this is going to be my first multiple chapter fanfic. (The ereri week one doesn't count shhh) I didn't edit this so, if there are any mistakes, I apologize. I've had the idea to write this for awhile & finally had the time to start it! I don't know how often I'll update, but I'll try my best to be quick about it. I really hope you like this! Anyways, go ahead & read on!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's luck with his favorite barista changes today!

Time seemed to freeze.

Eren stood still, gaping at the gorgeous, pale man before him. 

Loud conversations were shared, door bells rang and noisy machines were put to use making coffee. None of it reached Eren's ears. The only thing that he could focus on was Levi. 

"W-wait... Um ... H-huh?" Eren stammered.

Levi look slightly concerned about Eren's shocked expression, but repeated himself, nonetheless. "I asked if I could take you out sometime?"

Eren couldn't believe the words he was hearing. Of all the things he expected to hear, it wasn't that.

Panic flooded his eyes. What should he do? What should he say? How would he say it? Could he trust himself to speak at all?

"I ... I, well... ehh. I-" 

'How could this get any worse?' he thought.

 

~~one hour ago~~

 

Eren made his way to his car, anxious before he got in it, anxious before he was even close to his destination.

He was 24 years old and currently working with his mother at a flower shop. He finally (after many arguments with his mother) got his own apartment and lived alone.

Eren didn't have a dream job or house in mind, so he was quite content staying close to family, living a simple life and for the most part, have no money issues. He spent most of his free time painting. Eren was a very talented artist but never fancied becoming famous for it. He just did it because it made him happy, it always had. And his mother always praised him for his skills, so he knew he wasn't horrible (not that he needed someone else to tell him how good he was.) 

Today was his day off and he decided he would use today to pick up some art supplies. He also wanted to stop by his favorite coffee shop, Maria's Café, before he went shopping.

Going into that café was something that terrified Eren to the point where he would shake like a leaf. This might sound silly at first, but he had a good reason to be scared. Two good reasons actually.

The first reason was that there was a certain barista with an undercut, steely blue eyes, and was short, dark and handsome rather than tall, dark and handsome,

His name was Levi and Eren was absolutely head over heels for him. Just the sight of him made Eren's knees go weak. Levi spoke so gently to Eren, was always patient and could make a damn good cup of coffee.

The second reason that shook Eren was his speech. Eren had a stutter that was incomprehensible at best. He didn't stutter often, but if he had a reason to be nervous, speaking normally was out of the question. And boy, did Levi make him nervous. Some times it was less of a stutter and more of him just saying different words than he had intended. Either way, it embarrassed Eren to no end.

He left his apartment and went on his way. As he drove, he repeated his order, time after time, in his head and out loud. He got something different every time, which didn't help his case much. 

He pulled into the parking lot with his hands fumbling with his car keys and he slowly opened his door. He took a deep, yet shaky breath to prepare himself for what was to come. 

The bell chimed as Eren stepped inside the welcoming building. It felt so familiar and inviting. The scent of roasting coffee beans filled the air. There was a small line and not many of the tables were occupied. Unusual for a Friday. 

Eren took his place in line, trying his hardest to be brave. Jealousy took over him as the people in front of him placed their orders with ease. He stepped to the side to see who was taking orders and sure enough, his favorite barista that gave him chills stood behind the cash register. 

Anxiety settled in once again as the line got smaller and smaller. Soon, it was his turn. All the worry that he had had caused him to forget his order and he started sweating (in his brand new jacket too) and Levi looked at him with a friendly smile which only made him more nervous and god he just couldn't win today, could he?

"Welcome to Maria's Café, may I take your order?" Levi asked. 

'Stop it. Stop being perfect right now.' Eren thought. He wished he could've screamed that to Levi despite his possible reaction. At least Levi would've been able to understand it.

"... Hello? Are you gonna order?" Levi asked as he raised a perfect brow in question.

Eren hadn't realized he was staring, or that he had missed Levi's question and a considerable amount of time went by.

He still didn't trust his words. So, instead he nodded.

"Okay, what would you like?"

"Um ..." Eren started. 'Come on, you just had it!' He thought. 'You got this.'

"I'd like ..." He began hesitantly. "I'd like a... uhh."

Levi stared back, waiting patiently. This was normal. He never rushed Eren, no matter how busy they were. 

And like that, he remembered. Just not how he planned to say it. "A tai chi!" He exclaimed confidently.

Levi stifled his laughter and typed in his order. 

Eren looked at him proudly, smiling widely and with good posture. He had never been so sure of himself.

That all faded when he realized what he had asked for.

Horror took over his features. His smile disappeared when his mouth hung open, his eyes were blown wide.

"N-no! I'm so- I mean- I mean, I meant... Wait!" He tried, he really did.

The barista only let out a soft chuckle. "Don't worry, it's okay. I knew what you meant. What size?"

Eren gulped. He decided to just point at the display medium cup rather than risk worsening his mistake.

Levi continued to smile when he punched it in. "Will that be it today?"

Eren avoided his gaze and nodded. He was sure his entire face was beet red at this point. 

"Alright, one medium chai tea, coming up." He turned to go prepare Eren's drink as Eren wallowed in his self pity by the counter.

'I need help for this, I can't take it anymore.' He thought. 

When Levi came back, Eren payed for his drink, nodded as a 'thanks' and sat alone at the table furthest from the counter, facing away from it.

He slumped his shoulders and nursed his tea. He knew he shouldn't pity himself so much over something so minuscule, but that didn't make it any less embarrassing. Eren knew this kind if thing happens to everyone, but that too was no consolation. 

The tea was terrific, as expected. He never had a bad drink here. He sat in silence and enjoyed the warmth his drink brought to his cold hands.

Eren was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the screech of the chair across from him being pulled out. He looked up to find none other than Levi sitting down in front of him.

"Hey." He greeted Eren simply.

'No, please don't. I can't do this.' Eren chanted in his head. He could barley ask for a drink, let alone carry on a conversation with this man.

"You come in here a lot... Eren, right?" Levi said, never letting that friendly smile of his disappear. 

Eren only nodded... Again. For a moment he pondered if sign language would be an easier form of communication. 

"You know, you don't have to be embarrassed. A lot of people say tai chi instead of chai tea." He assured Eren. 

Eren internally groaned. In all honesty, he just wanted to forget the whole thing. 

"Is it good?" Levi asked at the lack of response Eren was giving him, gesturing to his tea.

"Y-yeah..." Eren dared to say, quirking up the corners of his lips a bit. 

"That's good." Levi held an expression that was almost endearing. He leaned on his elbows on the table. "You're really cute." 

Eren almost fell out of his chair. 'He thinks I'm cute?! No way, I think he's cute too! ... Not that I'd ever admit that to him. Okay, I MUST be dreaming.' His breath picked up its pace and if he was blushing before, his face had definitely transformed into a tomato now.

Levi's smile was now more of a smirk. He was getting to Eren and he knew it. 

"Say... Could I take you out sometime?" 

This was met with silence. Eren's face changed to complete and utter disbelief. Seconds passed by. The seconds turned into a full minute without a response. Even now, Levi was being patient with Eren. He'd always be patient with him.

"W-wait... Um ... H-huh?" Eren stammered.

Levi noticed how Eren's breathing became irregular. He was a bit worried now but still repeated his question. "I asked if I could take you out sometime?"

"I ... I, well... ehh. I-" Eren's eyes couldn't meet Levi's. He was looking for an answer, any answer. Anything intelligible would work right now. 

"Take your time." Levi cooed. He placed his hand on top of Eren's as a form of comfort. He slid his thumb along Eren's knuckles, reassuring him. 

Miraculously, Eren's breath steadied and he laid his eyes on Levi at last. Levi had only ever made him anxious but now he soothed him, like he was an old friend. 

Eren swallowed. "I..." He tried his best to reply. "Ye- sure... Yes" he said slowly.

Levi's smirk widened into a toothy grin. "That's good to hear." This made Eren giggle. "We could exchange numbers and I'll text you details later? My break's almost over." 

Eren clumsily pulled out his phone and allowed Levi to punch in his number. He did the same on Levi's phone. 

"Great. I guess I'll talk to you later. Bye, Eren." Levi stood up to leave and as he walked past Eren, his hand lingered on his shoulder, which made Eren shiver. 

A few minutes later, Eren left. He sat in his car, thinking 'What just happened? When did I get so lucky?'

He then set out to the craft store, with a new found confidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Let me know with a comment or leave a kudos if you liked it! My tumblr is dr-s--art in case you're wondering. Thanks for reading, it means a lot!


	2. Be it softly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi & Eren's first date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by an rp between a friend and me. (She rp'd Levi) enjoy!

Three craft stores and four hours later, Eren was heading home. He couldn't keep a wide smile off of his face. He hadn't kept his speech steady with a few cashiers but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

Levi liked him and he was going on a date with him.

Eren was almost to his apartment when that thought hit him. 

Levi liked him and he was going on a date with him.

Levi liked Eren who stammered constantly and was going on a date with him.

All of his excitement was now gone and he was overcome with worry. 

He reached his apartment and got out of the car, heading hastily inside and forgetting his new supplies in the trunk.

He ran up the stares and past his door to the one next to it. This belonged to his best friend.

Once he reached it, he began to pound on the door repeatedly. "Armin! Armin, open up! It's an emergency!" 

Within a few seconds, the door opened. His blond friend came out from behind it, near panicked. 

"Eren, what is it?" Armin asked.

"It's - I -I ... He- he said-"

"Okay, calm down and come inside. Tell me what's wrong." Armin ushered his traumatized friend into his apartment and onto the couch. He excused himself for only a moment to fetch Eren a glass of water.

When he returned, he gave Eren his drink and sat beside him. "Alright, just breathe." 

Eren loudly inhaled and exhaled, regulating his intake of air. He grabbed his water and gulped it down in the hopes that it would help. 

"Can you talk now?" Armin asked quietly, not wanting to alarm his friend. 

Eren nodded. He began to speak slowly. "You know that guy I told you about? Levi?" He had no trouble speaking around Armin. He may have been nervous but he wasn't triggered. And Armin's presence was comforting all on its own. 

"The guy who works at Maria's?"

Eren affirmatively hummed.

"Why? What did he do to you? Did he say something horrible?"

Eren simply shook his head.

Armin thought about the possibilities for a moment. "Did you finally ask him out?! ... Oh no. Did he say no?"

"Ugh, no!" Eren yelled. He dropped his head and his his face in his knees. He started groaning, which wasn't very bothersome considering it was muffled in his jeans. Eren rocked back and forth trying to figure out how he was going to explain his situation to Armin. 

It hurt Armin to see his friend in such agony. "Do we need to get mikasa to beat him up?" 

Eren lifted his head slightly. "No, he didn't do anything." He took another deep breath. "He... told me I was cute and asked me out!" He whined and buried his face once more in his knees.

"Isn't that a good thing, though?"

"You don't get it! I don't know what to do, I haven't been on a date before! What if I screw it up?!"

Armin listened closely in attempt to understand him. "I think you're overthinking it."

"What if I'm not?" Eren finally sat up to face his friend. "I could barely tell him 'yes' when he asked me out, how am I supposed to keep a conversation going?" 

"Here's what you need to do," Armin began. "Be casual, act like you're not nervous. Confidence is key, you know!" 

Eren listened intently, though he doubted he could accomplish such a task.

"If you can't do that, just tell him you're nervous. He'll understand. Ask him questions, always be honest and give him compliments when you can. Try and find common ground. Just pretend that he's somebody you've known for years." 

"You make it sound so easy..." Eren grumbled.

"What are you even doing for a date?"

"I don't know yet," Eren replied. "He hasn't texted me plans. I guess I'll see then." 

Armin patted his shoulder in assurance. "If you need any help with anything else, I'm here. And trust me, you'll kick ass on this date."

Eren chuckled. "Thanks..."

 

~~~

 

Eren returned to his apartment after having dinner with Armin. He was beyond stressed out about the entire thing. 

His phone buzzed on the counter and he dove after it. A text from Levi appeared on the screen.

'Are you available tomorrow?'

Eren's fingers flew as they typed back a response. 'Yes, what time is good for you?' He was still nervous about botching up the conversation but at least Levi could understand him well enough.

'Is 6:00 okay?'

'Yeah that sounds good!' Eren wondered if he was sounding too enthusiastic.

'Great, send me your address and I'll pick you up. We can do whatever you want.'

Eren sent his address and said 'can't wait!'

'Im excited' was the last thing Levi sent and soon Eren was a worried mess again. 

 

~~~

Levi sat in his car, looking in the rear view mirror to check and see if his hair was a mess. Of course it wasn't, but he wanted to look his best for Eren.

He found Eren's apartment without any trouble. All he had to do now was meet up with him. Levi was far too excited for his own good. He had been waiting for this for ages.

Levi made his way up to the right apartment and promptly knocked. He put his hands in his pockets and waited.

He hoped he wasn't overdressed for whatever it was Eren wanted to do. He thought it was safe to wear a simple white t-shirt with a black cardigan and black skinny jeans. 

Soon, Eren opened the door and greeted Levi with a sheepish smile. "H-hi." He stood with a hand behind his back and tapped the other on the door nervously. 

"Hey." Levi said breathlessly. He looked over Eren, who was wearing a dark green button up with jeans. So he wasn't overdressed. Good start. He couldn't help but grin at how adorable Eren was.

Levi cleared his throat. "Are you going to invite me in?" He inquired.

"Oh!" Eren was brought back to reality. "Yeah... I mean- come in!" 

Eren thought to himself 'I'm not doing too bad, I can do this'

He moved aside to let Levi enter his apartment. Levi stepped in and was ever so slightly put off by how Eren's apartment was quite messier than his own. He couldn't bring himself to comment on it, though. 

Eren stood quietly, remaining near the door. 

"Sooo..." Levi drawled. "What did you have in mind?"

Eren looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"What do you want to do for our date?"

"O-oh that! Right!" He laughed nervously. "Um... You see... I-I haven't really... Decided." He stated hesitantly.

"Oh... Well, what do you want to do right now?"

Eren internally screamed at himself for not even thinking about what it was they were going to do. He thought he could make it up by getting out a clear sentence. So, he blurted out "You wanna go eat food?"

Eren's face immediately flushed red as he nearly yelled his suggestion. The statement was so bizarrely worded and sounded so uncomfortable to say. Levi just appeared both surprised and amused. Eren wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.

He was about to apologize when Levi teasingly said "Well okay then. Where do you want to go to eat food?" 

"You pick." Eren almost whispered in fear of his voice.

Levi chuckled. "There's this Thai restaurant in town. Would you like to go there?"

Eren nodded and opened the door for them to leave.

~~~

At first, the car ride was silent. Then, Eren remembered Armins advice: Ask him questions, always be honest and give him compliments when you can.

Eren went for a compliment. He could comment on anything about Levi because he found the man to be absolutely perfect. 

"... You smell nice." Eren said. 

They both looked caught off guard with Eren's odd complement. 

"Uhh... I mean-"

"Thanks, you smell nice too. You smell... Clean."

Eren was taken aback. He stared at Levi for a long moment. 

The corner of Levi's lips tugged up before he broke out into laughter at how ridiculous their comments were. To make the situation less awkward, Eren joined in, laughing quietly and nervously. But as Levi continued, Eren's laugh grew into a genuine one. And the two rode the rest of the way to the restaurant in a comfortable atmosphere. 

When they arrived, Eren opened his door and slid on the wet ground as he stepped out. He not-so-gracefully landed on his butt. Levi came around the front of the car to help him up. (Like a gentleman.)

"Oh my goodness, are you alright?" He asked, searching for any visible injuries. 

Eren nodded avoiding his gaze with burning cheeks. Levi helped him up and they started walking to the restaurant with Levi's arm around Eren's waist. This didn't help Eren's heated face at all.

"You're blushing." Levi noted.

"I'm n-not!" Eren argued. "I'm just warm." He said defensively.

"It's autumn and the AC was on in the car." Levi was too amused to help it.

"Then... I got a sun burn. Umm... A really bad... sun burn." 

"Alright, whatever you say, kid." Levi responded affectionately.

Eren's heart was racing. He couldn't handle how casually teasing Levi was. How could he be so at ease when Eren was constantly having an internal meltdown? 

They were seated quickly and brought their menus. Their waitress stood a little too close to Levi for Eren's comfort. Levi didn't seem phased in the least, which bothered Eren.

He was instantly jealous and he felt like he shouldn't have been. Levi could have whoever he wanted. He was definitely handsome enough for that and he had a personality to match. And right now, Eren was his. 'Or am I?' Eren thought. 

His mental list of insecurities was interrupted when he heard the waitress ask what the wanted.

"I'll have the pad Thai, spicy level 5." Levi said, barely glancing at his menu before handing it over to their waitress. 

"So, the usual." The waitress said fondly, giggling all the while. "What about you?" She asked Eren, bored. 

Eren had never eaten Thai food and was uncertain of what to order. "I don't... Know. Uhh..."

The waitress smirked. 'She's probably judging me. She probably thinks there's something wrong with me. Levi probably thinks that too. He'll probably ask her out when I leave for the bathroom or something.' 

He stared at the table, embarrassed and shakily handed Levi his menu. He whispered so quietly, Levi had to strain himself to her, and the waitress missed it completely "C-can you order for m-me?"

Levi accepted the menu and nodded. "Of course." He said kindly. He then turned, expressionless, to the waitress. "He'll have the pad Thai with chicken, no peanuts, level one. Goodbye." 

The waitress giggled again, aware that Levi wasn't fond of her. "Oh Levi, you're hilarious!" She set her hand on Levi's shoulder before she walked off, Levi sneering in her wake.

He looked back to Eren who was staring at his twiddling thumbs on the table. "... Thanks." Eren mumbled.

Levi reached across the table and set his hand on Eren's. Eren visibly stiffened at the contact. 

"Look at me." Levi said gently. 

Eren didn't move. "Why?" He whispered. 

Levi squeezed his hand. "Please?"

Hesitantly, Eren lifted his head and locked eyes with the man across from him. 

Levi smiled, admiring the view. Eren was truly a sight to behold. 

So naturally, he decided to tease him to ease the tension. "You're blushing again."

"M'not!" Eren pouted. 

Levi leaned in and traced Eren's nose and cheeks with his index finger. "All along here... And here ... So red." He settled back into his seat, never letting go of Eren's hand.

"You're really awkward."

"I know, I'm sorry!" Eren apologized profusely.

"Don't apologize, I hate that." Eren had to stop himself from saying sorry again. "There's nothing wrong with the way you are."

Eren let out a silent squeal, feeling the heat in his face intensify. Levi felt the conversation had gotten too aggressive and tried to back down. "I think it's cute." Levi continued. 

Eren felt the need to give Levi a complement back. He couldn't think of much, due to his mind being clouded with intruding thoughts. He regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth.

"Y-you look tall."

He stared.

And stared some more.

"I'm five foot three." Levi stated curtly. 

"... Uh huh."

It was particularly silent after that. Too silent for for either of them to be comfortable. 

Luckily, the food arrived and Eren was saved from himself. 

"This looks great!" Eren said. He stared at his food, then at his utensils. He had no idea what he had ordered or how to eat it.

The man across from him picked up on his internal struggle and stood up to help him. 

Levi took his hand once he picked up his chopsticks and showed him how to use them properly. "Like this." He instructed. 

He sat back down and observed Eren's efforts. "Am I... doing it... right?"

No. "Yeah. Good job." Levi praised him. The both grinned at each other. Their meal was delicious and they kept chatting idly about little things. Eren learned that Levi was 28 years old and that he had worked at Maria's for seven years. Other than that they discussed minor things, like their favorite music genres and films. 

"So... You've been her before?" Eren asked.

Levi rolled his eyes. "Yeah and I'm unfortunate enough to get the same clingy fucking waitress every time." 

Eren unconsciously whispered "I don't like her." He realized what he had said and recovered with "I m-mean ... That's a shame!" 

"Why not?" Levi quirked an amused eyebrow.

"What?" 

"Why don't you like her?"

"Oh... um... I ... I didn't say that!" Eren laughed and waved his arms dismissively.

Levi's entertained expression left as their waitress returned. Speak of the devil.

"Here's the bill." She said as she placed it in front of the two. "So Levi..." She eyed Eren. "You like brunettes?" She flipped her brown locks leaning in towards him and he inched away in return.

"Well, not exactly." Both Eren's and the waitress' faces fell.

"Because that would imply I'm attracted to most brunettes. Sorry to say, but I'm only interested to the one sitting in front of me." He switched his gaze to Eren who was now beaming. 

"I see..." She left without another word. 

Eren reached for the bill. "I got it-" 

"No, I got it." Levi interrupted. 

"Well ... Okay. But could I maybe... Pay the tip?"

Levi didn't quite understand his intentions but wasn't about to deny him. "Sure, go ahead."

Eren took out a five dollar bill and set it in a glass of water he had barely touched. He took a thin, laminated dessert menu and placed it on top. Then, he turned the glass upside down and slid the menu out from underneath.

"Let's go." Eren urged.

Levi was stunned by Eren's actions. He didn't know Eren could think of something so clever. He finished paying and followed him out of the restaurant. They were moving too slow for Levi's taste so he grabbed the younger mans hand and speedily led them out.

~~

"I'm impressed." Levi told Eren, driving back to his apartment. 

"I-it was nothing." Eren was being too modest. 

"No really," Levi insisted. "Where did you learn that?" 

"I've had enough bad waitresses to start to think of interesting ways to tip them." Levi hummed in understanding. He didn't seem to think anything of it but Eren prided himself for getting that sentence out with no issues. He couldn't believe how he felt so comfortable with Levi in such a short amount of time. 

The night had to come to an end some time. They reached Eren's apartment and of course, had to part ways.

"Do you want to come in? And... Watch a movie... Maybe?" Eren asked.

"Can't, I'm working the late shift tonight." Levi had to admit he was disappointed he couldn't stay and linger.

"O-oh... Right, sorry." Too forward, Eren thought. He looked down ashamed.

"But I'm free tomorrow night." Levi added quickly.

Eren couldn't hide a big, toothy grin.

"So I'll see you tomorrow night?" Eren nodded in reply.

"Sure. I had fun." 

"I had fun too." Eren said, still smiling like an idiot.

Levi leaned towards Eren and closed the distance. It took Eren until the last second to realize what Levi was doing. He planted a kiss on Eren's cheek, softly, despite how rough his lips were.

No previous point in the night could compare to this point on terms of how red Eren's cheeks were. 

Levi looked at Eren smugly. 

Eren stammered unintelligibly. "Um - But- I... Uh you ... Gosh..." He continued incoherently with Levi doing everything he could to not let out a chuckle. 

"... B-bye!" Eren left and ran into his apartment, feeling like he was on cloud nine.

Levi wasn't even offended. He knew Eren was happy about the whole night and was just really shy. He didn't know how to react so he settled on leaving.

It didn't matter. Levi had the chance to make Eren flustered all night, the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are any errors, I never edit. If you'd like to check out my tumblr or follow me its dr-s--art and I post all my art and fics there! Please leave a kudos if you liked this or leave a comment to tell me your thoughts! Either one would make my day & inspire to write sooner! Thanks for reading, have a great day!


	3. Be It On Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren & Levi have a stay-at-home date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was also based off an rp between my main bean and me. A little backstory: because I am a serious rp dork, I actually took 5 minutes to look at my films to see what I had during the rp. You'll see why. Heads up, if you haven't watched I Am Legend and you plan on doing so, this chapter has a spoiler. By the way if you haven't watched it yet and intend to, what are you doing? It came out like 8 years ago I think. Give or take a few years. Anyways, it's sad. Ten out of ten would not recommend for those with a fragile heart. By the way I can't work AO3 very well and that's why I accidentally put up two end notes last chapter. Okay, enough nonsense. Sorry if there are any errors, I never edit. Read on, I hope you enjoy!

Time was running out. Nothing was clean. Tonight was going to be a disaster. 

Eren had ten minutes, if that, to clean his house so that Levi would be more comfortable. Levi may not have said anything the day prior about the mess, but Eren could see the scrutinizing glare. Also, as they spoke during their date, Levi had hinted about his obsession with cleanliness.

With the apartment the way it was now, Levi would not be impressed. 

Right now, Eren was mainly concerned with the living room. It was the messiest room, considering that's where he spent most of his time. Everywhere else was up to his standards, but this would be the first thing one would see when they walked in. 

Eren had neglected to clean until this moment in favor of making himself look presentable. Not that he had to dress up. The plans were to just watch films and enjoy each other's company.

'OhmygodOhMyGodOHMYGOD' the mantra increased in volume in Eren's head as the clock ticked on.

"I really should've done this earlier!" He said aloud. 

"And now I'm talking to myself. Yup, who wouldn't want to date a crazy guy like me. Oh yes, Eren Jaeger. Ten out of ten. Everyone wants-"

His sarcastic rambling was cut short with a knock at his door. 

~~

"J-just a minute!"

"Take your time!" Levi hollered through the door. He waited for Eren to be ready. He'd wait forever if that's how long he needed. He tapped his foot and smiled, listening to the muffled noises behind the door.

There were a few heavy foot steps, loud pants and even some shrieks that concerned Levi.

"Hey, are you alright?" Levi asked.

"Y-yeah! Never butter- I MEAN BETTER! Heh.. Ha!" Eren's stutter when speaking around Levi would never seize to amuse him. 

The door opened swiftly to reveal Eren standing with a goofy, anxious grin. 

"H-hi."

"Hey." Levi returned the smile.

They both stood still for a moment.

"... May I come in?"

"Oh! R-right... Come on in."

Eren stepped aside to allow Levi to pass.

"You know Eren, you've denied me entrance twice now. I'm starting to think you don't want me in here."

Eren gasped at his error. "No! I mean yes. I mean- I want you here! I always want you here! Wait th-that's not what I... Uhhh..." 

Levi let out a hearty laugh. "I'm just joking, it's fine."

The younger man tried to make up for his mistake and gave a nervous laugh back. "That was funny!" He just wanted the ground to open up and provide him with a hiding place. But since he was on the second floor of his apartment building, and the area had no history of sinkholes, that didn't seem like a likely option. 

"So where are we watching? Living room or your room?"

"Oh... Uhhh. I was thinking ... That the living room is too messy. So ... My room?" He suggested slowly. "I-if that's okay with you! Of course..." 

Levi smirked at how awkward Eren was. "Sounds good to me. What movie are we watching?" 

"I haven't decided." Eren muttered. "You can choose." He gestured to his case of DVDs. 

"That's alright, you can choose whatever you'd like. I'll wait in your room." He didn't really know where his room was, but he could take a gander.

"Umm, is there a gender- I mean... genre that you really like?" Eren didn't think he'd ever be able to speak fluently around Levi.

"I like horror and action." 

"Okay." Eren nodded and looked to his collection when Levi headed for his room. Even though he had a wide selection, he didn't have much in the genres that Levi favored. Eren enjoyed comedies and mysteries more. He could only find two that were action/horror that he didn't mind watching; I Am Legend and Critters. 

He plucked them from their places and entered his room where Levi was already reclining comfortably on his bed. "I have these two." He handed then over and kept his words short. He'd much rather not speak often than mess up his words. 

Levi looked at his choices and glanced up at Eren, with a taunting smirk. He had seen one of the choices already and had an idea of how Eren felt watching it. "Let's watch I Am Legend. You can cry on my shoulder."

Eren, offended, knitted his eyebrows together and opened and closed his mouth, looking for a retort. "I-I'm not gonna cry!" Oh yes he would. He never got through this film without shedding at least one tear.

"Suuuurrre you're not." Levi drawled out, unconvinced.

"I won't!" Eren pouted like a child. His cheeks began to flush red with anger and embarrassment. 

Levi's smirk widened. "There's that blush again."

The younger man had to think back to his excuse from the day before to help preserve his dignity. "I told you... It's just a sin burn." 

Both of their eyebrows shot upward. Levi's lips pursed in attempt to keep himself from laughing. Eren, on the other hand, frantically started to correct himself.

"SUN! SUN! I MEANT SUN BURN! IT'S JUST... I ... I-"

"Oh-hoh, what did you do to sin?" Levi asked, getting up from the bed and sauntering over to where Eren stood. 

Eren shook his head vigorously, his blush intensifying by the second. "I-I didn't! I never... No! I-" 

The shorter man grabbed his chin and tilted it down to face him directly. "I get a kick out of teasing you, you know that?" 

Eren looked positively mortified. "I'm an idiot." 

Levi laughed once more. "Come on, let's watch the movie." He lead Eren to the bed and sat down. Eren reached to the DVD player, popped in the disk and started the film. Just before he reached the bed, Levi pulled him back by the waist, to which he let out a surprised "eek."

Levi kept his arms around the other and pulled him right against his chest to snuggle him. He sat Eren between his legs, never letting go of him and set his head down on his shoulder. 

Eren's body was tense, but eventually relaxed against his boyfriend. 

Wait. Boyfriend? Is that what they were? Boyfriends. Eren wasn't sure but he didn't want to ruin the moment with questions. 

For that moment, he decided to just lay his arms on top of Levi's and enjoy the film. He hummed contentedly and though he couldn't see it, Levi adorned the biggest smile that he had since he had first went out with Eren. 

 

~~

 

They stayed silent and still through most of the film, only flinching at the jump scares every now and then. Whenever Eren jumped, Levi would hold him tighter and "it's okay, I got you." Which never failed to make Eren chuckle. 

At this point, they were at the scene were the main character's dog had been infected. 

Levi heard a quiet sniffle. "Are you crying?" He asked gently.

"No!" Eren replied in a wobbly voice, refusing to spare Levi a glance.

"It's alright if you ar-"

"M'not!" His words were still shaky.

Levi decided to just physically comfort him by nuzzling into him and planting a few kisses on his neck and shoulder. He muttered "It's okay, it's only a movie."

Eren's hands tightened around Levi's arms. He felt so safe with him. 

He couldn't really focus on the film after that. He was just reveling in the warmth of Levi and the intimacy they were sharing.

After the credits started rolling, Eren got up to turn the television off. It had gotten dark out, so he couldn't rely on the light through the window so he turned on his lamp. 

He turned around to face Levi, who was staring back at him wistfully. 

"W-what?" 

"Hm?" Levi was snapped out of his daze.

"W-why are you staring at me?" Eren worried that his eyes were all red from crying.

Levi released a content sigh. "I just like to look at you." 

Eren stiffened up, now very self conscious.

"You're beautiful."

"Stop it!" Eren whined. He sat down at his desk chair and hid his face in his hands. 

Levi blew an amused breath out of his nose and walked over to Eren. He knelt before him and tugged at his hands so that he would uncover his face. 

When Eren showed himself again, his eyes locked with Levi's. He had little time to prepare himself before Levi leaned in and chastely pecked his lips. 

Eren stared.

As did Levi.

They both stared at one another, Eren was rather shocked and Levi with an innocent composure. 

Eren went to cover his face again before Levi pulled his hands away.

"No no no, don't hide from me." The older man said, grinning.

"But- but... You..." He continued with incoherent noises.

Levi shut him up with a longer kiss. Eren made a surprised noise, but otherwise didn't protest. His eyes were the size of saucers but eventually fell closed as the kiss continued. Levi wrapped his arms around Eren's waist and Eren did the same around the others neck. 

They parted a little too soon for either of their likings, though they stayed in their positions. 

"Now will you let me look at you?"

"Ehh! You- you're so... Gah!" Eren turned away from him and crossed his arms.

Levi laughed at Eren's expense and stood up, dragging him back with him to the bed. 

He sat comfortably with his back to the head board and Eren sat beside him. He caressed the side of his face, pushing some of the hair out of the way. Eren started to shake with apprehension. 

"What... are we doing?" He asked tentatively.

"Nothing that you don't want to do." 

Levi knew very well that Eren wasn't ready to go very far and he wasn't about to force him to. He'd only do what Eren was comfortable with. 

"Can I kiss you?"

Eren lifted a questioning eyebrow.

"Well, you know. More?" Levi corrected himself, considering he didn't really need to ask before.

Eren answered the question by closing this distance between them once more, smiling into the kiss. 

They lasted like this for quite some time, never advancing past the lips. They didn't need to in order to enjoy the time they spent. Time seemed to fly by. It was nearly 11:00 by the time they pulled themselves off from each other. They were cuddled up against each other and could not be bothered to get up and compromise their comfortable position. So, instead of abandoning each other's warm embrace, they merely fell asleep like that.

 

~~

 

Levi awoke to the steady sound of Eren's breathing. The boy weighed heavily on his chest but wasn't so heavy that it bothered him. 

The boy slept so soundly that Levi couldn't bring himself to wake him. He pet his head and just watched him as he slept.

"So precious..." He murmured.

He had hoped that he was quiet enough to not disturb him, but he was not so lucky.

Eren began to stir and fluttered his eyes open. Of course, once he realized where he was, (or rather, who he was on) he became very rigid. 

"S-sorry, heh. I'll get off-" he made a move to lift himself off of Levi but was cut short.

"I don't mind"

"Oh... Well, okay." He beamed up at Levi. 

He stretched out his arms, wincing at how they ached due to his position. "Ugh, I slept in my clothes."

"So did I." This made them both chuckle.

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. The phone rang and Eren reluctantly rose to answer it.

"One moment." He excused himself. "Hello?" He answered.

"ERENJAEGERWHEREAREYOUGETDOWNHERETHISINSTANT-"

He held the phone away from his ear as he could hear the other person just fine if it was placed a couple feet away. 

Even Levi jumped at the sudden, unexpected volume. 

Eren covered the receptor. "It's my mom." He hesitantly put the phone back to his ear. "Mom, hey mom, calm down just a sec."

"Eren are you alright?! Where are you?"

"Mn, what time is it?"

"It's 10:15. Where. Are. You?"

"Ma, I'm at home. I'm fine, okay?"

"Why are you at home? You should be here by now. Did you sleep through your alarm clock?"

"Actually, I don't even remember setting it. I was... Busy." He could almost feel Levi's smirk.

"Busy? With what?" 

"Uhhh, I'll tell you later. I should be getting ready. I'll get there as soon as I can, love you!" 

"Wait, Er-" Eren hung up, not wanting to continue the conversation. At least not before he could make something up. 

He turned to Levi and sighed. "I have to get going." He said meekly. "I forgot I need to go to work... I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Neither of us really planned for me to spend the night." He sat upright, preparing himself to stand. "I'll see you off to work."

"Oh, uh. You ... You really don't have to."

Levi stepped closely to Eren. "I want to." He then pecked his cheek and walked past him. Eren had to do all he could to not allow his knees to buckle right then and there.

~~

Levi had followed Eren in his car to his work. It took much convincing on Levi's part to get Eren to let him come along. 

"Before you come in," Eren said, "Just know that my mom's a little... Excitable." 

"That's okay. And I'm honored."

Eren was puzzled. "Huh?"

"I didn't think you'd want me to meet your mom this early on." He smirked and entered the building leaving Eren dumbfounded.

The bell rang, signaling that someone had entered the shop.

Sure enough, Eren's mother came fuming from behind the counter. When she caught sight of Levi, her visage calmed to a cheery expression. 

"Hello!" She chimed. "Welcome to Shiganshina Petals! Is there something in particular you're looking for?"

Levi glanced at Eren for a moment before answering. "No thank you, ma'am. I'm just looking." He wandered off in his own direction, maintaining his view of Eren.

Eren's mother jutted her head to her side, signaling that she wanted to have a word with her son.

He followed obediently, expecting the worst. (But fulling knowing that his mother was very understanding.) 

"Is there something going on with you? You've never been late for work!" She hissed in a hushed tone.

"I know and I'm really sorry..." He dared to send a short look to Levi. "Something just came up. It won't happen again." 

His mother followed his gaze. "What came up?" She asked, completely oblivious.

"That's not important! But everything's fine. I promise."

"Hmm. Well alright. Now put your smock on and get to work." She left with a wink.

He did as he was told and met back up with Levi. Since there weren't any customers yet, he could kill some time before Levi had to go.

"Your mom seems nice." Levi said.

"Yeah... She's a worrier by heart. But she's really sweet." 

"Hmph, kinda like you." He nudged Eren gently with his elbow.

Eren inched away. "St-stop saying things like that!"

Levi threw his arm around Eren's shoulder. "Why? It's true. You're sweet, beautiful and absolutely adorable." 

"Shhh no! I'm really not." 

"Oh but you are." He leaned up to place another kiss on the cheek.

Eren really couldn't complain about any of Levi's compliments or actions. But one thing kept clawing at the back of his mind. What were they? Did Levi just want to be with him because he knew Eren wouldn't reject him? Perhaps they were together because Levi was trying to pull a prank. Or maybe Levi sincerely wanted to be with him. Eren wasn't sure. He'd always been insecure about his relationship with others and this was no exception. 

He had to ask so he knew where they stood. It couldn't hurt and it would get rid of any doubts he had.

"L-Levi?"

"Hm?"

"Uh... What am I?" Eren wasn't sure how to phrase it exactly.

"Cute."

"No!" He chuckled. "No, I mean... What am I to you?"

Levi stared at him, not seeming to grasp what he was getting at.

"Are we... Are we ... b-boyfriends?"

Levi looked at him endearingly. Eren thought he could melt when Levi did that. "Do you want to be?"

Eren didn't want to answer that. If he said no, not only would he be lying, but what if Levi did and he had hurt him? If he said yes, maybe Levi didn't want to be and Eren would be left looking like a fool.

"Do you?" Eren reposed the question. 

Levi only nodded with a simper.

"Then... yeah. I'd like to be."

"Then it's settled. We're boyfriends."

Eren couldn't prevent the wide grin that settled on his face, not that he wanted to. 

"I should get going. And you need to get to work young man." Levi teasingly reprimanded him.

"Right... I'll talk to you later?"

"Mmhm." The two kissed goodbye and Eren watched Levi go.

He gazed out the window, staring like a lovesick teenager. He was brought out of his daze when he heard someone clearing their throat.

He whipped around to see his mother looking at him knowingly.

"Something came up, huh? More like someone came up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Tell me in a comment or leave a kudos if you liked it, please! Either would make my day and inspire me to write more! If you'd like to follow me on tumblr, where I post all my fics and art, it's dr-s--art. I really hope you liked this chapter, thanks for reading!


	4. Be It A Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carla has her suspicions & Eren gets some help from Armin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super short, sorry! I don't you if you guys will think that a good or bad thing. I'm not too sure how many of you actually like my writing but oh well. (It's fine if you don't like it. Heck, even I don't like it.) Anyways, regardless of length, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

"Soooo?" Eren's mother gently nudged him with her elbow.

"So, what?" He asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Who was that guy you were checking out? He didn't stay for very long so I doubt that he was just a random customer."

"Oh..." Eren scratched his head, trying to think of a way to get out of this conversation. She didn't mention anything about their kiss, so it was safe for him to assume she hadn't seen it and only caught him staring. "He's nobody, you must be imagining things." He picked up a broom and pretended to busy himself with work.

"You can't lie to me." She pinched his ear. Eren tried in vain to shoo her away. He began to sweep faster, ignoring her. "Your ears get red-"

"When I lie, I know!"

"Then tell me! He arrived when you did and you stared when he left. That, and you were late, which you never are. Something's up and I wanna know!"

Eren refused to tell her. She would drive him away. At least, that's what he thought would happen. His mother, Carla, was very nosy and also very protective. What if she didn't like Levi? Eren couldn't choose between the two of them. And he wouldn't know what to do if they didn't get along.

Carla took his silence as a hint. "Okay, okay. If you don't want to talk about it now I'm not gonna push you. Yet. So I expect to hear about this mystery man sometime soon!"

With that, she left to arrange some bouquets in the shop windows. 

Eren wasn't embarrassed by Levi and it wasn't like he didn't trust his mother. But to say that he was a pessimist was an understatement. He'd love to introduce them but the outcome was too unpredictable. 

On top of all of that, he still didn't have enough time to process the fact that they had just mutually agreed to be boyfriends. The whole idea made Eren's heart flutter. He had had a massive crush on Levi for what seemed like ages. He constantly stared at him whenever he got at the back of the line, turned into a incomprehensible mess when he interacted with him and even daydreamed about him during his absence. Eren never actually thought that it was possible for Levi to like him back. And it seemed like a wild dream for them to be boyfriends. 

It felt like some cruel joke that had to come crashing down at some point. Eren didn't think it was real. But it was, and that's all that mattered to him in that moment. 

 

~~

 

It had been a long and not-so-exhausting day for Eren but that didn't help the fact that he was ready to go to sleep as soon as he got home.

He plopped down in his couch, fully intending to to doze off. He would've too, if he hadn't heard a knock at the door.

'Who could that be?' Eren wondered. He walked to the door, confused as to who would come over without informing him first.

Eren opened the door to see none other than his best friend, Armin. 

"Your mother called." Was all he said.

Eren's eyes widened. "What did she say?"

"She wanted to know about, quote, 'the short guy that you fancy.'"

Eren couldn't help but slap his hand over his face in exasperation. "What did you tell her?" He stepped back inside and took a seat on the couch, Armin following suit.

"I just said that I didn't know who she was talking about. I didn't know what you would've wanted me to say, because I assume you would've told her already if you wanted her to know."

"Thanks. He came to work with me today and she caught me staring as he left." Eren said, letting out a heavy sigh.

Armin raised a teasing eyebrow. "His ass is that great?"

Eren gaped at his friend. "Wha- no! That's not what I meant! I wasn't checking him out or anything!" He pushed Armin who was laughing at his expense.

"Why not? You're going out with him, it's not like he'd mind." He replied, still chuckling.

Eren sent a glare his way. "Oh yeah that reminds me..." He started fidgeting with his hands, remembering their conversation from that morning. "He... He said that we're boyfriends."

Armin took note of Eren's nervous composure. "Do you not want to be?"

"No! I mean I do, but I feel weird now. We went on dates so it shouldn't surprise me that we are, but it's weird to think about it, you know?"

"No, I don't know."

"I guess I can't explain it..." He brought up his legs and rested his head on his knees. 

Armin scooted closer and set his hand on Eren's shoulder as a means of comfort. "Do you think you feel weird because you don't want to be in a relationship?"

"Ugh!" Eren buried his face. "That's not it! I don't know. I guess..." He pondered the situation over for a minute. "I guess I just don't understand it. I don't get why he's with me. Me of all people."

Armin was taken aback by this. "Why do you say it like that? What's wrong with someone wanting to be with you?"

Eren averted his gaze. He knew that Armin was going to argue with him on this. "Because he hasn't understood a single thing I've said." He mumbled.

"Is this about your stutter?" Armin stared aghast at Eren. When he didn't get a reply, he began to rub his temples in frustration. "Eren, you can't keep doing this. I know it's hard for you to speak at times but you can't let that get in the way of you being happy! I've seen you miss out on too much stuff because of this and I'm sick of it. You're not going to ruin this because of your speech!"

Eren snapped his head back towards his friend. "Who said I was going to ruin it? I just think that he could do better than someone who can't even order a damn meal."

Armin analyzed his words, trying to think of a solution. He hated when Eren was like this, doubting himself and putting himself down. "First of all, he doesn't need to do 'better.' You're pretty great on your own. And second, it sounds to me like what you're saying is that if you didn't have a stutter, you'd feel more comfortable with him? Is that it?"

Eren groaned and dug his hands into his hair. "You make it sound like it isn't a big deal. But, yes. I just want to talk normally! If I could just do that, I could enjoy this a whole lot more! But I can't. I can't do it!" 

Armin understood things a little more clearly now. That didn't make it any easier on him to see how badly Eren was worrying, though. "You can speak just fine with me." He pointed out.

"That's different and you know it!" Eren hollered back defensively. He didn't want him believing that his problem was selective, even though, deep down, he knew Armin would never think that.

"I know, but... What if we could get you to be as comfortable with Levi as you are with me? I could teach you ways to keep calm and I could help you steady your speech and we could do these exercises that help with- ooft!" Armin was caught off guard when Eren tackled him in a hug.

Armin struggled to breath under his friends grip, but hugged him back nonetheless. "What was that about?" He wheezed.

"I'm sorry for acting like a kid and... You'll really help me with talking?" Eren's words were muffled in Armins jacket. 

Armin chortled. "Of course! You're my best friend, I'd do anything for you. You know that."

"Thank you so much!"

Eren didn't know how fast the process would go, but if he had hope to be able to stop stuttering, that was enough.

Eren pulled back to ask, "Do you think we could start now?" 

Armin looked at him questioningly. "Really? Now?"

"Yeah. I think I'm gonna go get coffee at Maria's tomorrow and it's gonna be embarrassing if I can't order. Especially now that we're going out."

"Alright. But you know that it's not going to magically go away overnight, right?" 

Eren nodded in confirmation.

And thus began Conversations 101.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will the lessons go? Who knows? That's right, I do. I'll be introducing a couple new characters next chapter, (I think) so there's that to look forward to. Please leave a kudos if you liked it or a comment to tell me your thoughts! If you'd like to check out my tumblr, which has all my fics & art on it, it's  
> dr-s--art. Thank you so much for reading!


	5. Be It With Confidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hangi & Erwin introduce themselves to Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhh boy! How well is this going to go? I had a lot of fun writing this chapter... I also got a little sad writing this because I kind of have Eren's problem. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!

Levi walked into work bearing a wide grin, humming to himself. It had been a few days since his last date with Eren and he still felt like he was walking on sunshine. The boy had that special effect on him.

He took his place behind the register and leaned on the counter. He balanced his chin on one hand and started drawing swirls into the cold surface with the other. It was times like this when he was grateful for little to no customers.

Levi was extracted from his happy daze as soon as he felt the presence of a "friend" of his, looming over his shoulder. 

"Ohhh leeeeviiiii~" a bespectacled brunette behind him chimed.

His smile was replaced with a frown. "What the fuck do you want, Hanji?" He groaned. 

"You're so mean to me!" She leaned on the counter beside Levi. "What's got you in such a good mood? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you've showed some emotion the past few days." 

"What are you talking about?" He turned around to support his weight on his elbows. An all too common look of indifference overcame his features.

"I meeeaann," Hanji began. "I think I saw you smile just now! So what's up? Has hell frozen over at long last?" 

Levi pushed himself up to grab some cleaning tools to busy himself with. "You're insufferable." He muttered, quietly.

It was of no use. Sure enough, Hanji followed close behind, persistent as ever. "Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell meeee!" She practically begged, clasping her hands together and jumping on the balls of her feet.

"It's none of your concern. Now just leave me to work." He waved her off, wiping down a table. 

"What's none of her concern?" Another one of Levi's so-called "friends" asked on his way to change the specials listed on the chalk board.

"Forget about it, Erwin." Levi retorted, getting more and more agitated by the second.

The tall blond man continued as he wrote. "Is something wrong?"

Before Levi had a chance to reply, Hanji cut in. "Levi's been smiling! Can you believe it?!" 

No. He couldn't.

Upon hearing those words, Erwin was struck with enough shock to snap the chalk he was using to write with in half. 

He turned to face the woman. "Are you sure? Do you need new glasses, maybe?" 

"Nope!" She beamed. "I'm positive! And it wasn't just once either."

Erwin was aghast. He walked up to Levi to continue his questioning. "Out with it, Levi. You can't hide it from us forever."

"Wanna fucking bet?" The shorter man mumbled to himself.

"I'll bake you cookies if you tell us!" Hanji offered.

"Who would want your shitty cookies?" Levi said with a pointed, disgusted glare.

"That's so rude!" She whined.

"I have to side with him on this one." Erwin said. The bell chimed, signaling that a customer had arrived. "Hanji, you figure out what's going on, I gotta go and help this customer." He left to take on his position at the register.

Hanji did as she was told, complaining, begging and poking at Levi for what seemed like forever. He never gave in, though. If there was one thing Levi could do, it was keep something to himself.

"Oh my god, just go away! Don't you have something you need to do?" He argued. 

"Oh, come on!" She gestured to the rest of the shop. "There's no one here, we have time! I don't see why it's such a big deal anyway!" The customer that Erwin had been helping had been tended to and there was currently no one waiting in line, but Erwin stayed where he was, having faith that Hanji could get the information they both wanted.

"It isn't a big deal, which is why I don't get why you keep asking-" Levi's attention was turned to the door when another customer came in.

If there is a god, they were being merciful today and sent in Eren to take him away from his pestering friends. 

As soon as Levi laid eyes on him, he darted to the cash register and shoved Erwin out of the way, almost knocking him off his feet. Despite their difference in size, Levi had always been the stronger of the two.

Levi fixed his harsh demeanor with a bright, inviting smile as he greeted the younger man. "Welcome to Maria's Cafe, beautiful. What can I get you this time?"

Of course, this made Eren gush and giggle. After watching this display, Hanji silently walked over next to Erwin, who was nursing a sore arm, as they both eagerly regarded the sight before them. 

Eren took a deep breath before he began speaking in a slow manner. "Excited to see me, are you?" 

Levi's eyebrows shot up. He had just given Eren a compliment, and all he got was a flushed giggle. Eren may have not spoken at a regular speed, but there was no stutter for sure. 'This'll be interesting.' Levi thought.

"I'm always excited to see you." Levi replied, fondly.

Eren chuckled once more. "I'm excited to see you too." He said at the same slow pace. After his few lessons with Armin, he carried more confidence. So far, he was doing extremely well and had never felt more proud of himself.

If it was at all possible, Levi's grin had widened even more. It had occurred to him that he still had to do his job. "So, uh, what would you like today?" 

"Right." Eren was also brought back to his second reason for coming. "I think I'll-" 

Before he could finish his thought, Hanji booted Levi out of her way and slammed her hands on the counter. "IT'S YOU!" 

Erwin also made his way over to get a better look at Eren, although more calmly. "So you're the reason Levi is all giddy!" 

All the sudden movements and loud noises frightened Eren, who in turn, took a step back, shrinking into himself. "I-I'm sorry...? Uhh-"

"NO NO, DON'T BE SORRY!" Hanji hollered, never lowering her volume. "YOU MUST BE REALLY SPECIAL TO GET LEVI THIS WAY!" She made her way around the counter and stood directly in front of Eren, completely abandoning the concept of personal space. Erwin did the same, walking up to Eren, but keeping a more respectful distance. 

They stared at him as if he was a rare occurrence that one would only see once in their lifetime. All the attention made Eren shake and start fiddling with his hands. "Um, c-could you ... Uh, maybe back u-" 

"GUYS!" Levi boomed, also coming around to pull off his friends. "Holy shit, back off!" 

Both Erwin and Hanji backed up, though not very far.

Eren took several more steps back, beginning to panic. He had heard Levi say slightly exasperated complaints, but he never heard him shout in frustration. That, along with the two invasive strangers caused his breathing to become labored and quick. His brow also started to sweat profusely.

"Sorry," Erwin apologized. "We tend to go a bit overboard sometimes." He nudged the brunette woman beside him. "Don't we, Hanji?" 

"Oh! Right, yes!" She said at a more acceptable volume. "So what's going on between you two?" Hanji's question was dripping with knowing hints.

Levi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, visibly exhausted. Eren, on the other hand seemed as on edge as ever. 

"Well? Give us the details!" Hanji persisted. "Is this cute little twink your boyfriend, Levi? Huh?" 

The shorter man sent her a death glare, daring her to say anything more. Eren was simply taken aback by her words, still inching towards the far away exit at a snail's rate. 

"Listen, Hanji. You need to st-" Levi's efforts were all in vain as she continued.

"Just tell us what the deal between you two is and we'll leave you alone! So what is it?" She started to list off her guesses casually. "Are you going out? Is he your fuck-buddy orrrr... Don't tell me! Don't tell me! Are you, perhaps, lovers?" She wiggled her eyebrows. 

"HANJI!" Levi shouted, refusing to let this go on. 

"Yeah, okay. Even I think that's too personal." Erwin added quickly. "I think we should give him some space." 

"Whaaaat?!" Hanji complained. "I'm just wondering!" 

The situation was now far too much for Eren to take, so in the pursuit of being rid of the stress, he turned to leave, still panting heavily. 

"Eren, wait!" Levi called after him. He speed-walked out the door to catch up to him, not sparing either of his friends a glance. 

The guilt weighed heavily. "Was it something I said?" The brunette asked obliviously. 

Erwin merely shook his head and returned back to the register, leaving Hanji to her confusion.

 

~~

 

"Eren, I'm sorry." Levi grabbed his boyfriend's hand when they were a few feet away from the door. 

Eren's breathing never slowed and Levi thought that he could see the beginning of tears in his eyes. 

"N-no, I'm- I'm sorry. I ... Shouldn't have..." He took several large breaths, attempting to fill his lungs that were in dire need of air. 

Levi closed the distance between the two of them and brushed the hair out of Eren's face. "No no no, shh," he cooed. "I'm sorry about those two. They're easily excited. And they're absolute messes, I don't know why I'm friends with them." 

This made Eren chuckle slightly, which made Levi happy. 

"I'll have a talk with them." Levi continued. "Do you want me to beat them for you?" He asked jokingly.

Eren giggled again. "N-no," he sniffled. "It's fine... It's just that... That I was d-doing so well." 

The older man furrowed his brows slightly, wrapping his arms around Eren's waist. "What do you mean?"

"I-I almost ordered with-without ... You know." Eren sniffled again. 

"Oh, Eren. I don't care if you stutter. I really don't mind... I actually think it's kinda cute." 

Eren allowed himself to show a tiny smile. "I know... But I care. I just.. I don't wanna t-talk like this... Every time I get n-nervous. I don't want... To be nervous a-around you." 

He bowed his head.

"I hate it." 

Levi tightened his grip on him when the words left Eren's mouth. Eren brought his arms around Levi as well.

"Well... You know you don't have to be nervous around me. Right?" He felt the taller man nod against his neck. "Good. And I know that your speech is a big deal to you, so I'm not going to tell you that it's not or make it seem like it's nothing. Just know that I'll never think any less of you when you have trouble getting your words out." 

It was Eren's turn to tighten his grip. "Thank you." He whispered.

 

~~

 

After Levi gave Eren some time to breathe, they re-entered together. 

Erwin and Hanji both casted their gazes toward the two but remained silent, out of fear of worsening the situation. 

Levi never let go of Eren's hand as he approached his friends. 

"I think that you all should be properly introduced." Levi started. When they all nodded enthusiastically, he took that as his cue to do just that. "Eren, this is Hanji and Erwin. They're my two best friends, though I can't really explain why." He gestured to the two and kept talking before they could protest. "Hanji and Erwin, this is Eren. He's my boyfriend and I think it's quite obvious why." He then gestured to Eren in the same way someone would present a trophy. 

"It's nice to meet you Eren, we're really sorry about earlier." Erwin stuck out his hand to shake Eren's.

"I-it's okay." The younger man said, grinning sheepishly. 

"Yeah, we were just poking fun!" Hanji spoke up and repeated Erwin's action. "Sorry if I scared you too much! It's just that you're positively adorable, and I want to know everything about you, and you made Levi smile, and he never smiles. I mean never! Did you know-"

"Okay." Erwin and Levi cut her off simultaneously. She finally let go of the hand that she had grabbed forcefully.

Eren still had a friendly smile but also showed how he was a little timid. 

Since their little interview had taken place, more employees and customers filled up the cafe. Levi turned to face Eren completely.

"Now, let's get you that drink and I'll meet up with you on my break. Sound good?"

Eren nodded in agreement. 

"Could we meet up with you too?" Hanji asked, pushing her luck.

Levi questioningly looked to his boyfriend for his permission. 

"Yeah... I-If you want." Eren really did want to get to know Levi's friends better, their first introduction just made him apprehensive. Though, he knew that if he gave them a chance, that he would surely like them. 

"Okay then, we'll see you in a bit." Erwin joined in. 

'Well I just dodged a goddamn bullet.' Levi thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really loved writing Hanji, she's the bomb. Not so much Erwin, because I have issues but I wasn't going to make him the bad guy because that might make my friend sad. She really likes Erwin, so yeah. But what did you think? Did you like this chapter? Please leave a comment or kudos if you did. If you'd like to check out my blog where I post all my art/fics, it's dr-s--art on tumblr. Thanks so much for reading!!!


	6. Be It Fondly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets out his frustration in multiple ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ! I have never written smut before so I am so sorry if this is horrible! I'm new to writing in general so yeah. Please don't yell at me though, I know it's not that great. But hey, I tried. I suppose this chapter is skippable for now... Maybe? There's going to be more smut in the future though. (Hopefully I'll be better by then.) Oh yeah, and this is a wicked short chapter, I haven't had a lot of free time lately. Okay, enough warnings. Go ahead and read!

After talking with Levi and his friends, (albeit not very fluently) and going to work, Eren arrived home rather tired. He decided to relax and start a new painting. Nothing that he would get too involved in. Just a simple portrait.

He set up his easel and busted out his brand new supplies. Eren felt like a child getting to play with a new toy. He brought up a picture of a daisy arrangement from work for reference and got started. 

Just as he was about to peck the canvas with the tip of his brush, there was a knock at the door.

"It's me!" Came the voice of Eren's best friend.

"Come in!" Eren hollered back. He couldn't be bothered to get up and open the door. Not that he needed to, since Armin had a key. 

Eren began dabbing colors onto the wall of white as Armin strode over to stand next to him. "Sooo?" He drawled out. "How'd it go?"

Eren sighed quietly without glancing up. "It went well-"

"I knew it!" Armin shouted, a little to prideful of his efforts. 

"... at first." Eren finished bitterly. 

"...oh." Armin wasn't expecting him to continue. "Well, at least you did well at first! That's progress, it's better than nothing right?"

"Uh huh." Eren replied absentmindedly.

Armin knew that he was too far into his work at this point. So, he looked over his friend's shoulder and watched him paint. "What are you painting now?"

"Daisies." Eren answered simply. The paint brush glided so smoothly across the canvas. His hand moved in such an automatic and familiar way, with such ease yet with so much technique. Every stroke was fluid, it was hard to believe that this person was the same boy who shook in the presence of his own boyfriend.

Eren continued lazily as Armin watched. His friend would always get mesmerized watching the colors seamlessly blend into each other. 

Armin was the first to break the silence. "So what happened?"

"Hm? Oh, uh. I started out fine, but then a couple of Levi's friends started bombarding me with questions. I got really overwhelmed and some of the questions were personal so I panicked." 

"Oh no, did you have an anxiety attack?"

"I felt like I was going to, but Levi calmed me down."

There was a long pause after that. Eren supposed that Armin just didn't have anything to add. He turned to face him to confirm his thoughts. Confusion overcame him as he saw his friend's ridiculous grin. 

"What?" Eren asked.

"Does Levi make all your worries go away? Is that it?" 

Eren nudged him away with a grunt. Armin couldn't help but release a bit of laughter. "Shut up!"

"Are you head over heels for him?"

"Stop it!" Eren cheeks broke out into a flush. "And so what if I am?" He muttered.

"You know I'm just teasing you." He said still in a small laughing fit. "Besides, I'm glad you found somebody who makes you this happy."

 

"Yeah... So am I." Eren couldn't help but come across a bit wistful. 

It didn't take long for Eren to finish his painting. It was a small piece, but it was still incredibly detailed. Armin was rooted in his spot, admiring the work. It never seized to amaze him how gifted Eren was and how fast he could create something so professional. Eren had a knack for making simple subjects look somehow very intricate. 

"I'll let it dry & put it away later."

"No!" Armin protested. "I'm sick of you storing them away."

Eren raised a questioning eyebrow. "I don't see a problem with it."

"Art as good as yours shouldn't be hidden. Could I have this one?" 

Eren was far too modest for his own good. He knew his art was superb but he wasn't actually aware of how good it was. "Sure, if you want. Don't know why you want a practice piece though." 

Armin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, I'm going to bed." He waved goodbye and left to return to his apartment. 

 

~

 

That night, Eren was left wide awake, staring at his ceiling. He pondered about how important Levi was to him. His comforting words and warm touch seemed to have never left. Eren just wanted to be captured in Levi's embrace forever.

He tossed and turned onto his side, trying to ignore just how lonely he felt in that moment. He wished to be with Levi at all times. Eren wondered what Levi was also doing at this time. 

Every memory from that day came back to him. Levi caring for him, how he made him feel, Hanji's words about them being fuck-buddies or lovers.

Everything became exceedingly hot all of the sudden. The only thought that occupied Eren's mind was Levi. He was who he wanted to be next to, who he wanted to talk with, who he wanted to be wrapped around him right now. He'd never want anyone else. 

Before he had realized it, these intruding thoughts became too much for him and he allowed his hand to travel downward. 

He jerked it back, not allowing himself to do such an unthinkable thing while thinking about Levi. Levi would never find out, of course. Surely he wouldn't even have a problem with it. But did that make him feel any less guilty? No, but he didn't have a real reason to feel guilty. There was nothing wrong with what he was doing. Though, he thought there was.

'God, I miss him so much. What's wrong with me? I just saw him earlier today.' He thought to himself. 

Eren couldn't take it anymore. It couldn't hurt, right? He moved his hand lower once again and grabbed a hold of himself. The contact in itself was a relief. 

Eren angled his head so that any noises he made would be muffled into the pillow. He slowly started to work his hand up and down and the other clung to the sheets.

Images of Levi flooded Eren's mind. The way he smirked when he knew he was making Eren flustered. His soothing voice that uttered the sweetest words. Everything about him was perfect. 

Eren's breathing became ragged. He pictured Levi's hand in place of his own. God, how he wanted that. Eren didn't think he would ever have the nerve to ask that of him. 

He sped up his pace and paused a few times to glide his thumb over the tip. He whimpered and furrowed his brow. Eren could feel the heat building up in the pit of his stomach. 

"Ah, Levi..." He moaned into his pillow.

His release was approaching and he knew it. His hand increased it's speed for the umpteenth time, needing to get more friction.

With a muffled groan, Eren came into his hand. Euphoria overtook him as he settled on his back. He tried to regulate his breathing and made a mental note to clean up his mess in a few minutes. 

'It's going to be a little awkward the next time we see each other.' He mused in his head. 'How am I gonna get our relationship going in this direction?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh!!! I wanna crawl in a hole. I really don't know how I did. If you liked this chapter please give it a kudos or leave a comment, that would mean everything to me. If you'd like to check out my tumblr that has all my fics and art it's dr-s--art. Thanks for reading!


	7. Be It Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our two dorks have something to look forward to and something to fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I suck at summaries. Anyways, sorry for the late, short chapter. I was kind of lost. But yeah, I hope you enjoy it!

A couple weeks had passed. Eren was becoming more and more comfortable around Levi. He still would mess up his words from time to time, but it was nowhere's near as frequent. Armin's advice on conversations never seized to be helpful. Occasionally, he would start sweating whenever Levi would innocently touch him which caused him to hesitate on his words, but other than that, he was making progress. This made Levi happy too, because it meant Eren was at ease with him.

Levi treated Eren to dinner every few days, sometimes at nice restaurants & other times at his own home. Personally, Eren preferred going to Levi's house. It wasn't overly large but it was well kept and exceedingly comfortable. 

Currently, the two were snuggled up on Levi's couch after watching a few films. There was now a show on television that neither of them were very interested in but they didn't have the will to change it. All they wanted was to just spend some quiet time together. 

Levi was lacing his fingers through Eren's hair soothingly as the younger man laid on his chest and hummed every now and then. The television was the only source of light in the room and they only had each other for a source of heat. It was nearly ten o'clock and Eren could feel himself slowly drifting off to sleep. That is, until Levi interrupted the silence.

"Eren, have I told you how much you mean to me?" He asked lazily.

Eren tilted up his head to look at Levi. "Um... No?"

Levi blew an amused breath out of his nose. "You're so important to me. I wish I could keep you with me at all times. You're so precious."

Eren was thankful for the lack of decent lighting. A heavy blush creeped onto his cheeks. "You... you don't mean that." He tried to cover up his insecurity with a forced laugh.

The older man looked him in the eyes with a more serious expression. "I do. I really do mean it. You're absolutely perfect." He started stroking Eren's hair lovingly to help convey the message. 

Upon hearing this, Eren was far too flustered to maintain eye contact with him. So, he hid his face in the crook of his neck which only caused him to laugh. 

"But-but I'm not-"

"Move in with me."

All the words that Eren had planned on using as a retort had vanished into thin air.  
Move in with Levi? It was more of a demand rather than a question or a suggestion. He brought his head back to look at him, almost as if to question if he had heard right.

"Huh?" 

Levi smiled down at him. "I said 'move in with me.' ... I know it's kind of sudden, and we've only been dating for almost a month but, I really like you. And I want to be with you all the time."

Eren knew what he wanted, he just didn't know how to say it. "I...I-"

"You don't have to say yes if you don't want to. You don't even have to give me an answer right now. I just want you to know how I feel." 

This was his chance. Eren wanted their relationship to move forward and he was being presented with the opportunity. Would he look too clingy if he jumped at the chance? Would he be rushing? Not that Levi wasn't. He was the one who asked, he wouldn't protest if Eren agreed.

Levi turned his attention half heartedly to the television after a few moments of silence. His words were spoken honestly. He would never rush Eren into something he wasn't ready for but would never not be truthful with him. 

"Yes."

Levi's attention was brought back. "Hm? Yes what?" 

Eren spoke with the utmost confidence, because he knew that this was what he wanted. "Yes... I'll move in with you." He couldn't stop the giddy smile from displaying itself on his face. 

Levi was taken aback. It was almost too good to be true. "Wait, really? You know you don't have to say yes. Do you need some time to think about it? Because I'm completely fine with-"

An enthusiastic pair of lips cut him off before he could go any further. The brunette held him close and he couldn't find it in himself to push the other away. 

Eren departed after a bit, still smiling wildly. "You trying to get rid of me?" He teased. 

"No! No!" Levi denied urgently. "It's just that I wasn't sure if that's what you wanted. Are you sure?"

Eren nodded affirmatively. "I-I want to be with you too."

That was all Levi needed to hear to get rid of his doubts. He tugged Eren closer and gave him another kiss. 

They both settled back into their original positions after awhile. Levi would occasionally peck the top of Eren's head. 

Nothing could make either of them happier in that moment. They both felt warm and secure and had high hopes for the near future. 

At this point it became routine for them to be interrupted with Eren's phone ringing. He slid off of Levi and excused himself. When he looked at his phone he saw that the caller was in fact his sister, Mikasa. This was a call he couldn't ignore, she lived out of state and couldn't often get the chance to get in touch with him. 

"I need to take this." Eren said. Levi nodded and Eren left to the kitchen. "Hello?"

"Eren! It's been so long, how are you?"

"I'm sorry, who is this?" He joked.

"Oh, knock it off and answer my question, you goof." 

Eren smiled to himself. He hadn't seen his sister in about seven months and hadn't received a call from her in two months. "I'm doing really good," he glanced at Levi still sitting on the couch. "How have you been?"

"Well, classes are a bitch, but other than that, can't complain." 

"That's good, so what's up?"

"Weeelll," she drawled out. "I'm planning on visiting next weekend! I get out for an entire week, how great is that?"

"Seriously?!" Eren couldn't hide his excitement if he tried. He never got to see Mikasa anymore. Not since she started college.

"Yup! I got your birthday present & I wanna take you & mom out for dinner sometime too."

"Oh right, I forgot that was coming up." Eren had been too... preoccupied to think about his upcoming birthday.

Right as he finished his sentence, Levi came up from behind him, threw his arms around his waist and said teasingly, "Who're you talking to?"

Eren, being very ticklish, got into a giggling fit and tried his best to shoo him away. "Stop that, Levi!" He said through his laughter. 

Levi chuckled and left giving Eren a small pat on the butt, causing him to jump and glare back at him with an unconvincing, venomous expression.

"Heh, sorry about that, Mikasa."

He could hear that Mikasa was also amused. "It's okay. Who was that?"

"Oh, uhh..." He turned back to look at Levi who had resumed his position of watching television. "That was... my boyfriend."

"Hi!" Said person hollered in the hopes that Mikasa had heard him.

She had. "Heh, tell him I said hi back." Eren did as he was told. "Hmm, I don't remember you having a boyfriend. When did this happen?"

"About a month ago..." He trailed off, knowing he was treading on dangerous territory. "He's really nice."

The girl tried to place a name with the man and when she couldn't, she asked, "I don't recognize his voice. Is he someone I've ever met? Do I know him?"

"I don't... think that you do. His name is Levi. He, uh... works at a cafe..."

"I see." Suddenly, her voice carried a cold edge. "So I've never met the guy... is he good to you?"

"Of course! He's the sweetest guy I've ever-"

"So he's not too pushy or demanding?"

"No, don't be ridicul-"

"He doesn't make fun of your stutter? Do you even stutter around him? Does he make you uncomfortable? Do you honestly want to be with him?"

"Stop it!" Eren rarely raised his voice. He was nervous as it was having to tell his motherly sister about his first boyfriend. He knew to expect judgment but now she wouldn't even let him get a word in. Many times, he couldn't help but cut himself off, and he hated when other people did that for him. (Especially when he knew he could talk normally at the time and especially when that person was some one that he knew cared about him.)

"Listen, I really like him. I want you to give him a chance." He pleaded. "He doesn't mind my stutter, I want to be with him and Mikasa..." He turned to glance at Levi who attention was now on him due to his increase in volume. He turned back and lowered his voice so he wouldn't hear. "He makes me so happy."

He heard her sigh before she responded. "Sorry, you know I worry about you a lot. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I know."

Both ends were silent for a few seconds. Mikasa was the first to break it.

"Well, I look forward to meeting him." Eren could tell that her cheerful tone was forced and she was apprehensive. 

"You'll like him, trust me." 

"I trust you." She replied honestly. "Well, let's figure out the details of next week tomorrow. I should probably get some sleep. And you should to. Seriously though, don't be doing things with him. At least not this early on in your relationsh-"

"Mikasa." He said firmly.

"Right... Well, I'll see you in a week. Goodbye, love you."

"Bye, love you too." He hung up with an exasperated sigh and hung his head.

He walked back into the living room and plopped onto the couch next to his boyfriend. 

"Who was that?" Levi asked, noticing how drained Eren suddenly looked.

"My sister Mikasa. She's coming next week for my birthday and she ... wants to meet you." 

Levi's eyes widened. "It's your birthday next week? Why didn't you tell me?!"

Eren looked at Levi with an unimpressed expression. "Can we focus on the problem here?"

Levi corrected himself quickly. "Right, so uh, what is the problem exactly?"

Eren rubbed his temples, agitated. He wasn't annoyed with Levi, just the situation. "My sister is very protective and motherly. I've never had a boyfriend and she's never met you. She has major trust issues and can be really cold sometimes."

"Oh, that's no problem. I'll be on my best behavior, I promise." He put his arm around Eren.

"It's not you I'm worried about... I don't want her to be rude or offend you."

Levi held Eren closer to him. Eren in turn leaned into him and rested his head on his shoulder. "You have nothing to worry about. Everything is going to be fine."

The younger man let out another sigh. "I hope so."

With that issue taken care of, there were now other things to discuss. 

"Now," Levi started. "About your birthday..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. Oh well. By the way, I can't work archive. So if there's an extra end note, sorry I don't know how to fix it. Please leave a kudos or comment to let me know if you liked it! If you want to check out my tumblr that has all my art & fics, it's dr-s--art. Thanks for reading!!!


	8. Be It Unnerving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited meeting with Mikasa finally arrives!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a lot longer to write than I anticipated. It took long enough to make me anxious and rush the ending but oh well. I hope you enjoy it anyway!

"I'll meet you two at the restaurant for lunch at 1:00. Then I'll take you, mom, Armin and... your boyfriend out for dinner later. Sound good?"

Eren had been on the phone with his sister for ten minutes now, trying to plan everything carefully.

"Yeah, sounds great! But my real birthday isn't until tomorrow, you know." He reminded her.

Mikasa hummed, contemplating her reply. "I know, but I have all week to spend with you. Plus I figured that you'd wanna spend your birthday with... You know, your boyfriend." Eren could practically hear her rolling her eyes.

"He has a name," he huffed. "And please be polite to him. I don't want you to scare him off."

"Wha-? What's that supposed to mean?" 

"You know very well what it means." He said with a tone of finality in his voice.

Eren walked to his fridge (it was really Levi's, but soon to be theirs) and pulled out a carton of eggs for breakfast. He waited longer than expected for his sister to reply.

"Fine. But I'm not promising that I'll like him. I wanna make sure that he's good enough for you, first."

Eren cradled the phone between his cheek and shoulder. "That's not really for you to decide."

Another brief pause. "I'll see you at 1:00."

They said their goodbyes and Eren hung up. He quickly got to work on his and Levi's breakfast. Levi was still asleep but he thought it'd be nice if he woke up to breakfast already made. 

Right on cue, when the eggs were done, (along with some toast and bacon) Levi sleepily walked out of his bedroom, yawning and rubbing his eyes. He was immediately hit by the delicious sent. 

Eren set down the two plates and went to start on a batch off coffee. 

Levi's mouth started watering as he sat down and took a good whiff of the food. 

"Sweetheart, you didn't have to make us breakfast," Levi said. "I would've done it."

Eren flushed at the nickname Levi had given him. Levi had given him lots of little pet names, adding up by the day. "I was already up, it's fine." 

Levi's lips quirked up. "Tomorrow, I'm gonna make you breakfast. A breakfast fit for a king." He poked Eren in the side when he sat down next to him, causing him to giggle.

"You-you don't have to." Eren felt guilty letting people do things for him, but being pampered by Levi wasn't something that he was entirely opposed to.

"But I want to." They both dug into their food and enjoyed the shared silence. But it couldn't last too long, they had things to discuss. "So when are we meeting up with Mikasa?" 

"She said she'll meet us at the restaurant... At 1:00." 

Levi nodded, understanding. "And are you sure she would rather stay at a hotel than with us?"

Eren looked at Levi, his face giving away just how bad of an idea he thought it was. "She's only meeting you today... she doesn't even know you yet and I have a bad feeling about this." Eren would've let her stay at his apartment, but he's been staying with Levi. He wanted to wait until after Mikasa had left to move all of his things into Levi's house. 

Levi reached over the table and gently squeezed Eren's hand in reassurance. "Everything's going to be alright." But then again, it might not be. "But just in case, is there anything I should avoid doing? Or anything I definitely should do?"

Eren pondered this over for a minute. "Uh, well I d-don't think it'll come up, but... don't mention out father. Mikasa hates our father." He hummed, trying to think of the major points to hit. "Don't make dirty comments, they get her angry sometimes... Oh! Don't be touchy towards her. She's very defensive. Other than that, just be your shel- I mean yourself and hopefully, you should be fine."

"Doesn't sound too bad." Levi mused.

After they finished eating, they washed up the dishes and started to get ready. All the while, Eren was telling Levi small things about his sister. (He managed to get through it all, only stuttering a couple times. He's definitely been improving.)

Eren stressed about his clothing, his hair, his timing and the meeting itself. Levi on the other hand was far more relaxed. He was nervous, of course. He wanted to make a good impression on his boyfriends family. But, he was confident and looking forward to it. Mikasa couldn't be that bad, right? He assumed that Eren just wanted everything to be perfect. This much was true, but he seriously underestimated the seriousness of the situation.

 

~

 

The two had been waiting for nearly six minutes. Eren was a ball of anxiety, biting his hand, tapping his foot, breathing rapidly. Levi, observing how nervous he was, wrapped a tight arm around his waist and kissed his cheek. Eren gave a silent thanks, putting a halt to his biting and tapping, though his breathing rate remained constant. 

Soon enough, Eren's long awaited sister came through the door with open arms. Eren let out a heavy breath, hugging his sister. 

"I missed you so much!" Mikasa chimed.

"I missed you, too!" He hugged her tighter.

She backed up from him still hanging onto his shoulders. She simply looked at him, as if she wouldn't get a chance to see him again. He did the same. Eren might have been dreading her judgement, but that didn't take away the fact that he missed her horribly.

The moment lasted until Mikasa's gaze shifted over to Levi. Her genuine smile changed to a professional, business-like composure. She walked over to the shorter man and stuck out her hand. "I assume you're Levi." 

Levi took her hand and warmly greeted her, "That's me, it's nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

"All good things, I hope." She gave an obviously forced laugh that bothered the other two. 

'I am in deep shit.' Levi thought to himself.

As if he had heard Levi's silent plea, Eren came between them. "L-lets go sit down, yeah?" 

He had stuttered. And he knew that Mikasa had picked up on it. She sent him a glance that said 'I know something's up.' Knowing her the way he did, he knew that she wasn't aware that his nervousness was because of her and not Levi being there. They were in trouble.

"Alright. Let's go." Mikasa's expression had been drained of all traces of joy. Everything was a lost cause at this point. The group made their way to a table and sat down, practically drowning in the tension. 

A waiter had taken their orders for drinks and up until that point, they all had been silent. Eren sat next to Levi as Mikasa sat across from them, looking slightly offended at her brother's choice. Soon, their waiter came back with their drinks and they started looking through the menu.

Levi felt that someone needed to break the silence. So he began, "So Mikasa, what do you study at-"

"Levi, is it?" The two men were both taken aback at her rudeness and her complete lack of interest in what he was saying. "Do you honestly like Eren?"

Eren kicked her harshly under the table, but due to her strength, she appeared unfazed.

"Yes?" Levi thought it was kind of a ridiculous question.

"You don't sound sure." She scowled.

"Uh, I really like him. I wouldn't be with him if I didn't."

Mikasa turned her gaze back to the menu. "Hmph. You're quite sarcastic." She said in an unimpressed tone.

Levi discreetly cocked an eyebrow at Eren, questioning, 'Is she serious?' Eren looked at him apologetically.

"And does he like you back?"

"Stop talking as if I'm not here." Eren stated, becoming angered.

"I'm sorry," Mikasa said sincerely. She did care about Eren's feelings (and only his feelings.) "Well, how are you two getting along?" It was an odd question, but she felt the need to ask.

She was very suspicious of their relationship. She didn't quite trust Levi yet and Eren was nervous, which made her nervous. Something in her mind told her that Eren wasn't happy. How she got to that conclusion was a mystery.

Levi was trying his best to try to think of a reply that would get her off their backs but Eren got to it first. He grabbed Levi by the hand under the table and proclaimed, "We're perfectly happy... I, for one, am happier than I've been in a long time." He spoke his words so surely, the other two regarded him closely. He never broke eye contact with his sister, proving his point even further.

Mikasa set down her menu and turned to Eren. "Can I speak to you alone for a moment?"

"You can say whatever it is in front of both of us." The younger man crossed his arms over his chest.

"Eren." She warned him.

Reluctantly, he stood and walked over to a corner with her, absolutely fuming.

Once they were out of earshot, Mikasa took on an innocent composure. "I don't trust him, I don't trust him at all."

Eren's eyebrows knit together with fury. "That's your own damn fault." His sister widened her eyes, surprised by how defensive he became. "You're not even giving him a chance and that's the one thing I asked you to do."

Mikasa did her best to remain assertive. "He's making you nervous, I can tell! He's not good for you."

Eren came back with just as much fire. "It's not him that's making me nervous, it's you. I want so badly for you two to get along. That's not going to happen if you keep acting the way you are. I don't want my boyfriend to be uncomfortable with my sister. And I don't want my sister to hate the man I love."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he retreated. They were both silent for a few moments. 

Eren tried to think of a way to reverse his words before he realized that he didn't need to. He spent a couple seconds looking unsure and then he straightened up with a determined attitude. 

Mikasa seemed impassive, at first. She looked at him blankly. "Is that true? Do you honestly feel that way about him?" 

"Yes, I do."

"And have you told him?"

"No. Not yet. I'm going to, though. But I want to wait until I can say it properly..."

They both glanced back at Levi, who was paying them no attention. Though, he did look rather stressed. They observed him taking the collar of his shirt, fanning himself. He had a bit of sweat on his brow and exhaled a load of air through his mouth. Eren found it endearing that he was getting so worked up now, wanting everything to go well.

"I don't know what you see in him." Mikasa said.

Eren sighed contentedly, still watching him. "You will. And you've only known him for like three minutes. That's not enough to judge a person's character." He faced her once more. "Please. Try to be nice to him."

 

~

 

Soon, the siblings rejoined Levi at their table. "Everything alright?" Levi whispered. Eren merely nodded. It came as a surprise to Levi how it all magically smoothed over in their absence. Mikasa was now for less tense. As was Eren. 

"So..." Mikasa called attention to the other two. "You were asking me about my studies, Levi?"

It felt a bit awkward to just carry on with the conversation after having such a rough start, but they did it anyway. 

The meal was great. Everyone enjoyed themselves for the most part. Mikasa was very stiff throughout it all, but gave Levi a fair chance. She could never admit it, but she grew fond of him and actually identified with him a bit. They talked about her life at college, her martial arts classes, Levi's work at the cafe and his home life. Eren was more than happy to just observe them conversing casually. He mentioned that he would be moving in with Levi soon which made Mikasa a little nervous, but she didn't voice her objections. 

All good things must come to an end. Mikasa and Levi ended up agreeing to split the bill. (Eren, being the soon-to-be birthday boy, was not allowed to pay a dime.) 

They all left, not too upset about the departure, considering they'd all meet up again later that night. Eren and Levi got in their car and simply looked at each other. Levi let out a deep breath. "Nothing to that, right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't edit this so I'm sorry if there are any errors. If you'd like to check out my tumblr, which has all my art & fics, it's  
> dr-s--art. I hope you liked this chapter, if you did, please leave a comment or kudos! Thanks for reading!


	9. Be It Short Of Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren celebrates his birthday with Levi!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has waffles, The Heat & smut. What more could you want?! I'm just kidding, I don't think it's too great. I'm not going to make this any longer because the end note is much longer. I hope you like it!

The dinner between Eren, Levi, Mikasa, Armin and Eren's mother was enjoyed by all. They took him to his favorite restaurant and the food was absolutely delicious. Everyone shared a good laugh every now and then. Eren's mother adored Levi and made that clear several times. Armin couldn't stop interviewing him about himself and his job at Maria's. Mikasa, for the most part, kept her conversations with Levi curt, but polite nonetheless. Eren really couldn't ask for much more. Levi was just happy that Eren was having a good time.

During dinner, gifts were handed out to Eren. Armin went first and gave him a couple of films on dvd that he had been wanting. Usually he gave him more extravagant gifts (only the best for his best friend) but he always protested saying that he felt guilty.

Mikasa went next. She had always been a sentimental person at heart. She presented him with a little scrapbook of when they were children with a personal note in the back. Eren accepted it and gave her a bear hug in return. He was a sap for those kinds of things. 

Carla was practically jumping in her seat when she presented Eren with his gift. She had given him a case of acrylic paints. Carla sat smugly in her chair as Eren glared up at her. Acrylics were very expensive. Before he could object, she shushed him and told him to "stop looking pissy" and also to "think of her when he was having fun playing with his new paints." At this, he shut up. Levi silently snickered at the foul language coming from such a sweet lady. He also made a mental note to ask Eren about the paint and what kind of art he made.

Levi ended the gift giving when he declared, "I know this looks bad, but I swear I have a present for him." Which brought a round of laughter to the table.

He honestly did have a present for Eren. Several, actually. He just wanted to give them to him on his actual birthday.

After they parted, Eren and Levi went straight home. The celebrations had exhausted Eren, so he and Levi went straight to bed.

 

~

 

Eren woke to light pecks being placed all over his face. He was curled up comfortably in a huge blanket, only peeking half of his head out. One eye fluttered open to find the source of the tickling feeling on his face.

When Levi noticed that he was fully awake, he sat back and grinned at his beautiful boyfriend. "Good morning, birthday boy." 

Eren hummed, amused. He tried to go back under the covers to attempt to cover up his blush and elated smile. 

Levi admired him and how cute he looked. "Happy birthday, sweetheart."

"Aw, stop!" Eren's whine was muffled by the blankets.

"Why?" Levi said, gently pulling down the blanket to get a better view of his face.

Eren peered up at him, feigning annoyance. "Because... you'll make me blush."

Levi let out a soft, amused breath. "Sorry to break it to you, but I think I've succeeded." He proceeded to poke Eren's cheek, drawing a giggle from the boy. He then got up from the bed and walked to Eren's side, leaning down. He tenderly stroked his cheek as he said, "You can go back to sleep or do whatever you want. I'm gonna go make some waffles and tea. When I'm done I'll come in to get you, sound good?"

Eren nodded. "Mhm." With that, Levi left to start breakfast. Eren laid there, giddy as a child. All was well. He was in a warm, safe blanket, it was his birthday and he had his boyfriend, who he thought was the handsomest man in the world, in the kitchen making waffles just for him. He felt like he was being treated like a king.

He didn't really fancy getting out of bed, so he decided to just lay there, daydreaming. He didn't even bother changing, he just stayed in his sweatpants and button up pajama shirt. He thought about waffles in particular. Nothing else competed. It's all he could think about because he was so hungry. 

Not a moment too soon, Levi entered the bedroom stating that breakfast was ready. Eren began sitting up but it wasn't necessary, as Levi placed one arm under his legs and the other around his back, lifting him up bridal style, much to Eren's surprise.

"H-h-hey! Wha-what are you doing?!" He grabbed onto Levi for security. 

Levi only smirked. "I said I'd come in to get you, didn't I?" 

"Well, yeah ... but..." Eren couldn't think of a good argument, so he remained silent as his boyfriend carried him to the kitchen table. He'd never admit that he enjoyed it a bit too much.

Once Eren was seated, Levi placed his food in front of him. "You're so cute when you blush." He poked at Eren's burning in cheek again. Eren shrunk into himself due to his embarrassment. 

"M'not cute." He pouted.

"Au contraire, you're only the cutest man in existence." Levi retorted. Eren continued to pout, but gushed at the compliment.

Regardless, they started eating the waffles and Eren gave his praises to his cooking. After Levi had finished, he watched as the younger man continued to eat, leaning his elbow on the table and his head in his hand. He was deep in thought.

Eren stopped eating and raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?" Levi hadn't noticed that he'd also been staring intensely. 

"I was just thinking, your mom gave you paint last night." He continued when all he got was a blank stare in return. "Do you paint?"

"Yeah, a bit." Eren answered.

"I didn't know that, what do you paint?" Levi was far too interested for his own good.

"Oh, nothing major." He was being modest. "I do portraits. I tried out surrealism once but it wasn't... challenging enough." He shrugged nonchalantly.

Levi gaped at him. He talked about portraits like they were a walk in the park. He wasn't an expert on art but he was pretty sure that surrealism required a lot of skill and Eren talked about it like it was child's play. "Can I see any of your art?"

Eren nodded, still giving the impression that it wasn't so big of a deal. "When I move in."

Those words brought warmth to Levi's heart. Soon, this would be their home. Everyday, he would wake up to that gorgeous face and come home to him after work. A happy silence settled between them as the birthday boy finished his meal.

Levi took their plates and washed them. After everything was taken care of, he popped in a film that Armin had gifted to Eren the night before. The film was The Heat. It was something that he had been wanting to see for a long time. They sat on the couch, cuddled up against each other, laughing all the while. This brought memories back to one of their first dates when they watched a film together. Only this time, the tears were from laughing too hard. 

They didn't have plans other than to laze around all day and relax. It's all that Eren wanted. After the first film was over, they watched the other that Armin had given him. It was Get Smart. He had already seen it before but he didn't have it on dvd until now. Just like the last, both of them couldn't suppress the laughter that erupted.

This was perfect in every way. Eren felt so happy. Every so often, Levi would plant a kiss on the top of Eren's head. There was nothing to make a fuss about or worry over. He was completely at peace. 

It couldn't last too awfully long. The film had to end sometime. However, neither of the two made a move to get up. 

Levi stroked Eren's hair as Eren nuzzled into his neck. They could've fallen asleep like that but they lacked the desire and ability to. 

Eventually, Levi broke the silence. "How rude of me. I still haven't given you your presents." 

Eren lifted his head and eyed him warily. "Presents? As in more than one? Y-you didn't have to get me anything at all."

Levi quieted him with a kiss. "I got you three presents. Actually, I might have four for you but that all depends."

"On what?"

"It depends on what you want, but we'll save that for later."

Eren was suspicious of this "gift," but he wasn't going to push it any further. Levi stood up and exited the room to retrieve Eren's presents. 

Levi handed the first box over, sitting beside him. He hesitantly opened the box and pulled out a large, black mug that said "World's Best Boyfriend."

He looked up at Levi, chuckling. "Haha." He said dryly. "Good one."

Levi leaned in and poked his side. "It's the truth!" 

Eren went for the next box, the smallest of the gifts. He carefully unwrapped it. Inside was a small, shiny, curved, pink stone. He twisted it between his fingers, inspecting it. "What is it?" He was fascinated with its beauty but couldn't decipher it's purpose.

"It's a worry stone." Levi replied, helpfully. "You put it in your pocket and when you get nervous, you rub it to calm down. And it's made out of rose quartz..." He was hesitant to add the next part but figured, why not? "It's the stone of love." 

Eren turned to face him. So many feelings were swimming in his eyes. It was such a thoughtful thing to give to him and he couldn't express how much it meant to him. So, he showed him by bringing him in for a kiss. He smiled against his lips, unable to hide his joy. When they parted, he simply murmured, "thank you so much."

Levi mirrored his smile. "Anything for you."

After their shared moment, Eren moved on to the last gift on his lap. Another little box, a bit bigger than the last. Inside was an antique key on a string. He lifted it out of its box to get a better look. It was bronze and had a unique shape.

"Here," Levi took it from Eren and placed it around his neck. 

"It's beautiful." Eren breathed out. 

Levi scratched the back of his head. Not sure how to respond. "It, um... looked like something that you'd where. I don't know."

"I love it, I love everything you got me." He pulled him in for a long embrace. "You're too good for me. I don't deserve you."

The older man looked at him seriously. "No, I'm the one who doesn't deserve you." He wasn't about to give him the chance to deny it, so he closed their distance one more time to kiss him again. This time, he lingered.

 

~

 

Later on, after their dinner was had and showers were taken, they went into their bedroom. It wasn't terribly early, but Levi had demanded that they get ready for bed a little earlier, but not actually go to bed. Eren assumed that it had something to do with his mysterious fourth present. 

Levi entered after brushing his teeth and sat against the headboard next to Eren.

Eren nudged him with his shoulder, innocently. "So what are you up to? Hm?" 

Levi hadn't thought through how exactly he was going to word this, but hey, there's no time like the present. "Well, I'd like to give you your fourth gift, but this one requires some feedback on your part." He laid his hand on top of his boyfriend's.

Eren looked at him curiously. "Go on."

Levi took a deep breath. He wanted everything to be perfect. Even the proposition itself. "I don't know how to word this without being either super blunt and too forward or really awkward about it so I'm just gonna wing it and see how that goes." Eren nodded enthusiastically to show his preparedness. "Okay. First things first, you have to tell me the truth. We need good communication if I do decide to go through with this."

Eren started to get a little concerned but nodded nonetheless. 

"Good. So, I need to know... are you okay with, or rather, have you ever thought about us having a more... physical relationship?"

"Yes." Eren blurted it out before he could stop himself. "I-I mean... I've thought about it... and I'm, uh... okay with it. Just not anything too... nothing too serious, too fast." 

"I agree. So, I guess my next question is, would you be willing to do anything tonight?" 

Eren's breath picked up its pace. He wasn't sure of what Levi wanted. Yes, he wanted to do something tonight, (he's been wanting it for a long time) but would he be enough for Levi? He's never done anything with another person before. What would Levi expect?

Levi picked up on how he was getting worried. "I'm not going to force you to do anything. If you don't want to do anything tonight, then we won't-"

"I do." He cut in. "It's just that... I've ... it's just that I've never... you know."

Levi nodded. "That's alright. We'll take things slowly. We can do whatever you want." He put his arm around Eren's shoulder. "Do you still want to?" He waited for him to nod. "Okay, so, I won't make you do anything you're not comfortable with. But tonight I wanna focus on you, I want to do something for you. If I'm doing something you don't like, you need to tell me. If at any point, for whatever reason, you want to stop, you have to let me know, okay?"

Now that was asking too much, at least for Eren. "That might be a p-problem. What if... What if I can't say it?" Out of all the things that were worrying him, that made the top of the list.

"If you can't use your words, then tap my shoulder or push me, okay? It doesn't have to be verbal."

He thought of everything, didn't he? "Okay. I-I will."

"Good. Now, I know you're nervous, but I just want you to know that I won't hurt you. I'll respect anything and everything you want. Anything you don't like, tell me." He then smirked. "And same thing goes if I'm doing something you do like."

Eren sucked in a breath at that last comment, which amused Levi to no end. 

"Are you ready?" He asked in a sultry tone. 

"Y-yeah, I am." 

Levi took Eren's hand and guided him to lay down completely on the bed. He hovered above him and connected their lips in a slow, loving kiss. 

Eren shook beneath him, not out of fear, but anticipation. If it was at all possible, his heart rate sped up even more. His cheeks flushed to a warm red.

Levi caressed his face, moving strands of hair out of his eyes. He then brought both of his hands down his cheeks, moving to reach their destination of the top of Eren's shirt as he straddled his hips. He unbuttoned one button before disconnecting their lips to ask, "Is this okay?" To which, Eren nodded.

He leaned back down to kiss him again, this time running his tongue along Eren's lower lip, simultaneously unbuttoning his shirt. After a moment, Eren let out a breath of air, allowing Levi entrance. Just as this happened, Levi pushed aside the sides of Eren's shirt, feeling his torso.

The younger man let out small whines here and there. Levi pulled back, hands still exploring his chest. "You okay still?"

"Y-yes."

He returned to kissing him, running his tongue along the roof of his mouth. He peeled off Eren's shirt, lifting him up slightly, to make it easier. He made a move to remove his new key necklace too, before he was stopped. 

"Don't take this off." Eren pleaded.

How could Levi refuse him? He couldn't, so he left it where it was and continued his work, trailing kisses down his jaw line.

Eren was somewhat at a loss of what to do, other than panic. He grabbed at the sheets as a means of stabilizing himself. He felt himself getting hard when Levi's kisses traveled downwards towards his ear. He stopped and started to nibble on his ear lobe, causing Eren to let out a low moan. 

As soon as the noise left his mouth, Eren covered it with his hand. 'That was embarrassing.' He thought. 

Levi smirked, leaning back to remove Eren's hand. "It's okay, you don't have to hold back." Eren reluctantly lowered his hand. "So you like it when your ears are touched, huh?" 

Eren avoided his gaze, it felt humiliating to have been at it only for a few minutes and come undone just because of his ears. 

"Are they sensitive?" Levi teased when he didn't get an answer. 

The other shook his head in denial. 

"Then you won't mind when I do this." He leaned back down to lick a stripe up his ear, earning a longer moan from Eren. He repeated his motion of covering his mouth but was halted again when leaving stopped him. "I wanna hear you." He whispered in his ear.

Levi moved on, placing kisses along Eren's neck, pausing a few times to give it a little taste. 

"Can I leave a mark?" He mumbled against the skin.

"Mhm." Eren replied shakily.

He had said yes to everything at this point. Levi was getting a little suspicious. "You can say no if you don't want me to. You know that, right?" 

"I know... you can l-leave a mark." 

Remembering that it was typical for Eren to stammer, Levi gently nipped and sucked at his neck. 

Eren writhed beneath him, absolutely loving the attention. For a brief moment, he wondered how long Levi wanted to do this and how long he himself had unnecessarily been waiting. He pondered if all those nights he spent alone, thinking explicit thoughts about Levi had all been waisted. 

Levi sat up straight. "Do you mind if I take this off?" He pulled at the hem of his own shirt.

Eren thought that it was silly to ask because he assumed that was more of his choice. But still, he appreciated how Levi always asked for permission and said "Go ahead." He didn't blame his actions. The air between them was getting very hot, very fast. He became anxious. 'I'm going to see him shirtless. I'm going to see him, with my own eyes, with no shirt on. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.'

Levi removed his shirt unintentionally slow. Every second was agonizing for Eren. As more skin was revealed, bit by bit, his eyes grew wider. Once the shirt was completely gone, Levi's hair was disheveled and the moonlight streaming in from the window looked magnificent against his pale skin. Eren knew that Levi had a good build but he never imagined exactly how muscular he was. If Eren wasn't hard before, he definitely was now. 

Eren unconsciously sinked inwards. He felt so small and mediocre compared to his boyfriend. Levi saw the initial desire in his eyes turn into self consciousness. He cupped his cheek and asked softly, "Baby, what's wrong?"

"I-it's nothing!" He faked a smile. When Levi raised an eyebrow, unconvinced, he relented. "I don't know. It's just that you... you and your body... you're so... so perfect. And I'm..." he glanced down at his own body. "I'm... less than attractive." 

"Wha-?" Levi furrowed his brow and actually looked hurt. "Oh sweetie, no no no." He brushed some hair out of Eren's face, put his hands on his shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. "You're gorgeous. Every piece of you is beautiful and you're the one who's perfect." He resumed leaving kisses on his neck, this time more tender and soft. He moved down to his collarbone and chest. "No one else can compete. I don't deserve someone as great as you." How ironic that that was Eren's thoughts only moments ago. 

He kept going lower and lower, leaving kisses all the way down. He kissed around his navel and stopped at his hip bones, close to the edge of his sweatpants. He took a hold of the brim. He looked to Eren for an 'okay.' He nodded, still flustered at what Levi had told him just then. Levi rolled his pants down, taking his time. He couldn't wait to unravel him. 

All that remained were Eren's boxers at this point. Levi laid against him, tucking his head near Eren's head to give more attention to his ear, fully knowing it would drive him crazy. He reached down with his left hand to palm him through his boxers. 

Eren reacted to all of the stimulation by going stiff, grabbing at the pillow and dropping his mouth open to let out a silent moan. Levi smirked with triumph. The more Levi massaged him, the more his face twisted in pleasure. His eyes screwed shut, his knuckles turned white and his breath hitched. He'd been needing some friction for far too long.

Levi thumbed at the band of Eren's boxers. "May I?" 

"God, yes." Eren breathed out. He needed more. 

Levi dropped down between Eren's legs and dragged his boxers down. Eren's length was free from it's constraints and he found himself becoming more shy than any other previous point in the evening. He was fully exposed and at Levi's mercy. 

He had no reason to worry, though. Levi adored him and would always take good care of him. And he could tell by the way Levi was looking at him that he was safe with him. 

Levi lifted Eren's legs and softly pecked his knee and worked his way up his thigh. Using his other hand, he rubbed soothing circles in Eren's other thigh. 

Eren locked eyes with him and he was fairly certain that he could've fainted right then. Levi was a pro at this and Eren had no other choice but to let him take him apart. 

Levi left a final kiss to the juncture of the hip and looked to Eren for assurance one last time. "Remember, if you need us to stop, let me know. Are you ready?" 

"Yes." He said with great certainty.

Levi grabbed a hold of Eren's hip with one hand and his length with the other. At long last, Levi gave a gentle, chaste kiss to the tip. Eren shuddered at the contact. He started peppering small kisses all up and down the shaft. 

Eren was trying (and failing) to keep from squirming at the sweet sensation. "More." He requested, barely above a whisper. 

Levi obliged and licked a stripe from the base up to the tip, pleasing Eren immensely. 

"Mmm," Eren hummed, unable to silence himself any longer. "Ahh..."

"That's it, honey," Levi praised him, lips against the flesh. "Make some more noise for me." He laid a wet kiss to the head, eliciting more sounds.

Eren complied. The sound of his rapid breathing mixed with his sporadic whimpers and humming. He increased in volume when Levi finally took the tip in his mouth and sucked gently. Levi did what he could to maintain eye contact with Eren. It was driving Levi wild to see him in such a state, sweating heavily, lips parted, chest heaving and eyes like the sparkling ocean. He was all his, begging for him, moaning for him, wanting none other than him. 

Levi sunk lower, taking more of him in his mouth and hollowing out his cheeks. He used one hand to prevent Eren from thrusting up his hips and the other to pump the bottom half of his length. 

"Ah, god... Ngh." Eren was getting close, his grip on the pillow tightened and his brow creased. 

When Levi tasted the saltiness of his precum, he knew Eren wouldn't last for much longer. All of the mewls coming from his boyfriend's mouth and the smell of sweat only spurred him on more. He took in as much of Eren as he could without gagging and sucked hard.

Eren bucked but was held down by Levi. His sounds grew louder and he didn't think he could string together any words, but he knew he had to warn Levi. "L-Levi! I... Uhn... I'm g-gonna-ahh.." 

The older man only held on tighter. Eren turned his head so that his mouth was covered by the pillow. He came with a muffled shout and released into Levi's mouth. Levi took it all and kept swallowing, milking him to the last drop. 

He got off of Eren and pulled up his boxers. He sat next to him and observed how his face was shoved into the pillow and he was trying to regain his normal breathing pattern. His eyes were still shut, albeit less tight and his hair was stuck to his forehead. Levi wished he could take a picture. 

Eren peeked one eye open and though most of his mouth was covered, Levi could make out a faint smile. 

"You had a good time, I take it?" Levi inquired. 

Eren would've laughed if he wasn't so out of breath. "Yeah." 

"I'm glad." Levi kissed his forehead and got off of the bed to walk to the bathroom. "I'm going to brush my teeth and then we can go to bed."

Eren grabbed his wrist after catching a glimpse of the front of Levi's pants. "Don't you... want me to...?" He glance pointedly at Levi's crotch. 

He shook his head. "No, I'll take care of that while I'm in there. You look pretty tired and I don't want you to feel like you have to. Besides, it's your night. Tonight's about making you feel good, not me." With that being said, he walked into the bathroom. He had plenty of images freshly implanted into his mind to relieve himself. 

Eren laid there, giddy as ever. He was able to suppress his anxiety and enjoy a night with Levi. And it had been wonderful. He was on top of the world.

A couple minutes later, Levi reentered, looking a little more sweaty than before. He collapsed next to Eren, now sharing his exhaustion. "Did you have a good day?" Eren nodded with a ridiculously wide grin. "Good. Happy birthday my perfect little angel." He gave Eren a passionate kiss before reaching over to turn off the lamp. He wrapped his arms around Eren as he set his hands on Levi's shoulders, tucking his head under his chin. 

"Thank you so much, Levi." He whispered.

"Anything for you." Levi promised. 

Eren had the urge to say those three little words, but didn't trust his voice enough to say them yet. Well, at least he was one day closer to saying them. 

He slipped into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of the man that was currently in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the first half of this chapter was meant to be way longer but I just couldn't get it right. The whole thing feels a bit rushed to me. I kept writing two sentences, scrolling through tumblr, wrote a sentence, took a break and got a snack the scrolled through vine and so on. I had a bit of trouble with this chapter. (By the way, if you haven't seen The Heat or Get Smart, you need to. They're so funny!) I don't think I did horrible on the smut part but I don't think I did great either. As I reread it, I kinda had the impression that if there was such a thing as a consent kink, these two dorks would have it. Anyways, as usual I didn't edit this, so I'm sorry if there are any errors. If you want to check out my tumblr, (that has all my fics and art) it's dr-s--art. If you liked this, please leave a kudos or comment to let me know! Thanks for reading!!!


	10. Be It Comforting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's anxiety can sometimes get the best of him, but Levi can make it all go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, I feel like such a dork for writing the ending the way I did but oh well. By the way, I still haven't figured out how to get rid of that second end note on all the chapters. Anyway, I feel a little bad for making Eren feel so horrible but it needed to be done... sorta. Well, I hope you enjoy!

A couple of days after Mikasa had left town, Eren was on his way to work, reflecting on the past week. His birthday had been absolutely spectacular, he had some good quality time with his sister and he and Levi started to move his things to their soon to be shared home. Everything was moving in the right direction. 

He entered the flower shop and was greeted with his mother's warm smile and a kiss on the cheek. She started cleaning the windows and he got to watering some bouquets.

Eren found it amusing whenever his mother would quietly whisper "April showers bring May flowers." to herself. This time of year, she always checked the weather forecast every couple of minutes when she wasn't busy. It seemed pretty silly to Eren to put all her faith in a little saying, but he never picked on her for it. 

"How is moving in going?" Carla asked.

"Kinda slow, but we'll be done soon. I don't have that much to move to begin with." He replied while arranging the flowers. She hummed, understanding. 

"Did you ever stop and wonder if you both are going a little too fast? Maybe?" 

Eren eyed her for a moment. "I know it's really soon, but I don't mind. I like him a lot and... I know he feels the same. We're both comfortable with it, so I don't think it's too fast." 

She faced him completely, now more engaged in the conversation. "I trust your judgement and I'm not trying to nag you, it's just that..." She had some trouble trying to not sound like a strict mother. "You know I worry about you. I don't ever want people to pressure you into things, especially with your anxiety and this is your first relationship. I'm not saying that Levi is pressuring you. It's just that I want you to make your own decisions. I want you to make good decisions."

Eren, now worried, put his work to a halt. "Are you saying this is a bad idea? Should I wait?"

"No no no, that's not what I'm saying." Carla set a hand on her son's shoulder. "I'm saying if you ever have any doubts, you should go with your gut. Is moving in what you really want?" 

He nodded. "Yeah, it is." 

She beamed up at him. "Then that's all I need to hear. I'm happy for you both."

They both resumed their work, preparing the shop to open. Eren knew that moving in with Levi was what he wanted. But this conversation brought something to his attention. What if Levi didn't want him to move in? What if this wasn't what Levi wanted?

'That's ridiculous,' Eren thought. 'If he didn't want me to move in, he wouldn't have asked... right?'

It's times like this when Eren's self consciousness got out of hand and seized to be logical. Of course Levi wanted Eren to move in but that was the last thing that Eren's mind was telling him.

Intrusive and unreasonable thoughts flooded his mind. 

'You're a burden.'

'He only asked to be polite.'

'Who in the world would want to live with somebody like you? You can't even answer the phone.'

'You're so clingy, give him some space for god's sake.'

'Tell him you changed your mind.'

'If you do that, it'll be more of an inconvenience to move everything back.'

'You sleep next to him every night and you can't even tell him you love him.'

His thoughts were cut short when the first customer of the day entered the store and he forced a smile to welcome them in.

 

~

 

The entire day dragged on. Eren felt emotionally exhausted after all the conflict in his head had taken place. He wanted to just go home and cuddle with Levi but at the same time he didn't. He needed Levi's warm embrace to be sensible again but he needed to distance himself to give Levi some time alone.

All afternoon, he had been jumpy, wondering about how Levi felt about their situation. Now, at 6:30 at night, his chest ached and he wanted to go to sleep. Or cry. Whichever happened first. 

His head hurt. His anxiety had taken so much out of him. Only a little longer until he could go home for the day. That was the only thing he could hold onto at the moment, but it felt hollow, considering he felt so guilty.

Carla grabbed her car keys and jacket and grabbed the door handle. 'It's not my day to close up, what's she doing?' Eren thought to himself.

"Mom," he got her attention. "Where are you going?" 

She would've kept her answer curt if she hadn't noticed his poor posture, knitted brows, fumbling hands and over all concerned composure. "I'm just going out to the car to get some food that I packed earlier. I shouldn't be gone for more than ten minutes, okay sweetie?" She was an expert on picking up on when he was getting anxious. He looked just like the scared little boy who begged her to let him stay home because of bullies, or the one who hid around a corner after his father came home screaming some nights, or even the one who didn't want to be left alone with the cash register when he was still trying to figure it out for the first time. He had a fearful expression whenever his anxiety peaked that absolutely broke her heart. But she had to leave, even if it was only for a little while.

"Okay." He mumbled.

She blew him a kiss as she left. Eren stood alone in the empty store, currently with nothing on his mind but her return and going home. He tapped his fingers on the counter, staring at his watch. 'Ten minutes, you'll be fine.'

He heard the door open and snapped his head up, hoping to see his mother. He let out a disappointed sigh when the person entering was not in fact his mother, but a small elderly woman. He greeted her, regardless.

She walked straight up to the counter with a friendly smile. She set her purse on the counter and spoke up. "Awfully chilly outside, isn't it?" 

Eren nodded, grateful for a grounding, dull conversation starter. "Yeah, sure is. May I help you find something ma'am?"

"Oh no, I'm just picking up an order I called in." 

Easy enough. "Alright, well what name is it under?" 

"Phillipson." She smiled.

"Okay, I'll go get it." He walked off into the back room and saw three bouquets, wrapped and ready for pick-up. Luckily, the first one he checked had a tag that read "Phillipson."

He brought it out onto the counter and asked, "Is that all you need, ma'am?" 

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Well... yes, I only need the bouquet."

Eren didn't understand her obvious confusion but calculated the total anyways. "That'll be $25.08." 

"Okay, where is it?" 

Eren glanced around, confused. He merely pointed at the bouquet. "Right there."

She gave a short laugh. "No dearie, this isn't mine." 

Eren furrowed his eyebrows together. He lifted the tag to reread it and confirm that it was the right one. He then showed it to her. "Yes it is. Phillipson, white carnations. Right?" 

"No no, I ordered yellow carnations. This cannot be mine." 

Phillipson was a common last name in their area. Maybe it was a simple mistake. "Oh, well I'll check the others. My bad." 

Eren started to sweat, but tried to remain calm. He looked in the back for the two other bouquets. The other two read Springer and Ral. 'That doesn't make sense.' 

He walked back out, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm sorry, but that's the only one we have under that name."

"Well, I need yellow carnations, young man." 

"This is all we have prepared. Let me check to see if it was our mistake." He searched in a pile of scrap paper that they used to write down orders to see if his mother had written down yellow and simply got the color wrong. He would then make the correct bouquet and give her a discount for having to wait.

Eventually, he found the paper that had "7 carnations- white / Phillipson" written on it.

He held it out for her to see. "No, it says white here. Maybe you ordered wrong. I can make another right n-"

The woman slammed her hand down on the counter with great force. "Are you calling me a liar?!" 

The loud bang made Eren jump, heart racing. Everything was so casual and friendly up until this point. He was caught completely off guard. "N-no ma'am. I-"

"Then where are my yellow carnations?" Her volume never lowered. She glowered at him with venomous eyes. 

"L-listen... I can g-get you a mother- I mean, another -"

"What are you babbling about a mother for? I just want my flowers!" 

"I-I didn't ... I mean, um..." He opened and closed his mouth several times, but no noise came out. He looked like a terrified nutcracker. His heartbeat sped up ten times faster, his entire body broke out in sweat and he started to shake.

"What is that ridiculous look for? Go and get me what I came here for." 

Eren would've loved to. Unfortunately, he was frozen to the spot. He couldn't process anything she was saying. The only thing that was going on in his head was 'you need to get out, right now. Run. Panic. Scream.'

Nothing made any sense to him at this point. The angry stranger kept shouting orders and complaints, meanwhile his brain was also screaming it's instinctive suggestions, which competed with what she was telling him to do. 

Just when he was about to have a mental breakdown, his mother walked in the door. He looked at her with pleading eyes and she immediately rushed over to his side.

"What's going on?" She questioned.

"I... she... " Eren pointed at anything that had the slightest relation to the conversation. "C-carnations... but-"

Carla realized that Eren was in no position to explain the circumstances so she looked towards their customer to clear things up.

Eren knew it was the logical option but it still hurt to know that she gave up listening to him.

"This moron can't understand that I ordered yellow carnations instead of these ones! Where are my flowers?" 

Carla did her best to keep the peace. "First, please don't call my son that, I'm sure we can help get your order-"

"Better make it snappy." The woman interrupted.

Carla, taken aback, made an expression that said 'well excuse you, but who died and made you queen?' But nevertheless, did what she could to get her out of the shop as soon as possible. 

She did every procedure that Eren had taken. She checked the back, checked the orders and every time she tried to explain that she'd make another bouquet, the woman kept interrupting her, claiming that this business was incredibly unprofessional.

At last, Carla stopped arguing, became calm, leaned on the counter and said, "Listen, lady. I don't appreciate you coming in here, insulting my son, and refusing to cooperate and let us make up for the mistake. Regardless of whose mistake it was. Now I'm going to give you a couple options. One. You take these that we've already prepared. Two. You be quiet and let us make another bouquet. Or three. You get out of here and take your business elsewhere. Now, what's it gonna be?" 

The woman narrowed her eyes. "You should be put out of business for treating a customer like-"

"I'm sorry, I don't recall arguing being one of the options. What's. It. Going. To be?"

"This is horribly unprofessional and-"

"Get out of my goddamn shop." Carla deadpanned. She turned to take the bouquet to the back of the room again, ignoring the protests of the woman, not even sparing her a glance.

Eventually, the woman left, still fuming. 

Eren admired his mom's ability to take control of a situation and not taking shit from anybody. Right now, there were other things on his mind. Like how he should've been able to handle everything. And how he froze up. And how guilty he felt.

"Eren," Carla called for her son. "Why don't you go home early tonight? You deserve a break after all that." 

"No," he shook his head. "I can stay." He wanted to help his mom for helping him and he wanted to redeem himself in a way.

"No, I think you should go home. You know, for your health." Before he could protest, she continued. "Go home and get some rest for me?" 

Eren couldn't refuse that request. He got his few things together, kissed her cheek and went on his way.

In his car, he couldn't help but think that she wanted him to leave because he stressed her out or because it would be easier for her to take care of things without him there. This wasn't true in the slightest, but he believed it was. 

When he got home, he sat down on the couch and tried to regulate his breathing, not even bothering to turn on the lights. Levi wasn't home yet. Eren didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He considered making dinner but he lacked any and all motivation. He didn't want to eat. He stared blankly at the tv which wasn't on. The day had been too long and he faced too many hurdles, internal and external. 

Everything that went on that day, in his head and outside of it, was suddenly the only thing that Eren could think of. It was all getting to be too much. His lip started trembling and he put his head in his hands. 'Don't start crying. Don't do it.' He chanted in his head. The last thing he wanted was for Levi to come home while he was an emotional wreck. 

He fought back the tears as best as he could. He was ripped from his thoughts when he heard the front door opening. It was matched with a comical "Honey, I'm home!"

Levi walked into the living room and sent him a loving smile. "Hey, babe."

"Hey." Eren said weakly, coughing slightly and faking a smile to keep Levi from asking questions relating to his quietness.

Levi walked over to him a gave him a kiss. He looked at Eren for a few seconds before he asked, "Why aren't any of the lights or tv on? What are you doing sitting in the dark?"

"I-I have a headache." He lied.

"Do you want some medicine?"

Eren shook his head. "I think it'll go away soon." He said, still smiling.

Levi looked skeptical but didn't argue. He turned to the kitchen and got out a few pans. "What do you want for dinner? I'll make anything you want." 

That was it for Eren. He couldn't keep himself from crying anymore. It came on so suddenly. Everything from that day had only been dangling over his head before this point and now everything, triggered only by that little offer from Levi, came crashing down. He stood up and marched into the bedroom, hollering back to Levi before his voice got too wobbly, "Make what you want... I'm g-going to bed early... to rest."

"Are you sure you don't want any medicine? It's no trouble-"

"I'm fine, thanks." Eren shut the door when he reached the bedroom and instantly started to sob. He made his way to the bed and laid down, holding a cool pillow to his chest in an attempt to ease the pain. 

His eyes were shut tight, tears streaming down uncontrollably. He kept choking out sobs, gripping the pillow tighter. He felt so pathetic. 

Once more, the horrible, illogical thoughts plagued his mind.

'You're so weak.'

'Any normal person could handle this.'

'You're not worth Levi's time, what if he saw you like this? 

'Can't even hold yourself together for your boyfriend, how sad.'

'You're such a nuisance to your mother.'

'Why can't you handle customers like her?'

'Freeloader.'

'How inconsiderate, living off of Levi.

'Why isn't he checking up on you? He probably doesn't love you after all.'

'But you don't want him to come in. Don't you dare let him see you this way. It's embarrassing, hideous even.

'And you're keeping this from him, you must not love him either.'

'You're a joke.'

Eren's throat hurt. The tears wouldn't stop, it didn't seem as if they would for a long while. He was having trouble breathing, taking in deep, sharp gulps of air as if he'd just emerged from water then continuing to cry harder. Everything ached in unbearable pain.

The door hesitantly creaked open and Eren seized up. "Eren, sweetheart? Are you okay?" Levi poked his head through the door.

Eren thought that if he stayed still long enough, maybe he would think he was sleeping and return to the kitchen. 

Just as Levi started to close the door, Eren couldn't stop the wet sob that bubbled up. Levi acted immediately and rushed over to sit at Eren's side. He set his hand on Eren's shoulder. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked urgently.

Eren sat up and sniffled, attempting to ready himself to explain his problems. But as soon as he caught sight of Levi's worry, all the guilt he had doubled with the knowledge that he made Levi so concerned for him. His arm gave way and covered up his mouth as he bowed his head and started crying again. 

Levi went to put his arm around Eren's shoulder, but he pushed it away, not wanting him to feel sorry for him. When Eren saw how Levi was surprised at his actions, that only made him feel worse for distancing him. 

Everything he did was conflicting with how he felt and he didn't know how to deal with any of it, much less explain it. He just wanted to scream.

"I-I," Eren hiccuped. "... I can't ... I can't -breathe..." That was the fastest thing he could explain while still making sense. 

Levi was at a loss of what to do, trying not to panic. "Uh, okay, take slow breaths. In through the nose out through the mouth." 

Eren nodded, watching as Levi took his hand and provided him with an example. He counted aloud one to five for each inhale and each exhale, coaching Eren through it all. 

After a couple minutes, Eren regained proper breathing, although he was still sobbing heavily. 

"Can you talk?" 

Eren avoided his gaze and shrugged with shaky shoulders.

"What's going on?" 

Eren took a deep breath. He knew he couldn't explain why he was in such a state but he could tell him other things that were wrong. "E-everything..." He sniffled "h-hurts." Unfortunately, that's all he could get out before he broke down again.

Levi could only ask so many questions and do so many things to help. He had no idea what he should be doing to help him. He wished that Armin or Mikasa or Eren's mom or somebody was here to help Eren. "Do you need an inhaler?" 

"N-no." Eren drawled out in a whine. He repeated "everything hurts" and it killed Levi to see him in so much pain. 

Levi dared to slowly bring him in for a hug. Eren responded by speeding up the process and hanging on for dear life, clutching desperately at Levi's shirt.

Levi rubbed circles on Eren's back, weaving his other hand through his hair. "I know I keep asking, but can you tell me what's wrong? Why does everything hurt?" He could feel Eren shaking harshly against his body.

"I... I don't know..." Eren whined again before he buried his face in the crook of Levi's neck, bawling his eyes out.

He mumbled something over and over into Levi's shoulder but it was incomprehensible. "What did you say?" 

"I'm ..." Eren choked out, "I'm... s-sorry." 

"For what?" He started to rock Eren back and forth, hoping it would soothe him. 

He didn't get a straight answer. All he got was Eren repeating "I'm sorry." continuously. It ranged between intervals of understandable and quiet mumbles. 

He began stroking his hair, shushing him soothingly, still rocking him and leaving soft kisses on his head and shoulder. 

After a good eight minutes of this, Eren apologized once again and began explaining what had gotten into him. He told Levi how he wasn't sure if Levi really wanted him to move in, how he felt like he was a burden to him, how he thought he was too clingy, how Levi was too good for him and he didn't deserve him and how he felt guilty that he always made him worry and he couldn't say how he felt even though he wanted to. He told him about how he felt sick to his stomach all day, about how his mom left him which scared him, about how the horrible customer that slammed their hand on the counter, about him freezing up and about his mom requesting that he left early, which made him feel like a nuisance. He finished by saying that he felt horrible for putting Levi through this and for letting him see him like this. 

Levi just kept holding on to Eren, stroking his hair, patting his back and listening closely. 

After he was finished, Levi kissed the top of his head and did what he could to comfort him and address each problem. "First of all, I do want you to move in with me. You're not a burden or clingy. If anything, I feel clingy for always wanting to be with you. You're the one who's too good for me, I don't deserve someone as perfect as you. And don't ever feel guilty for making me worry. I don't worry about you 24/7 because I have confidence in you and when I do worry, it's because I care about you and your wellbeing. 

"I'm sorry you had such a horrible day, everyone has one every once in awhile and that's okay. And that lady sounds like a complete bitch. You deserved to come home from that nightmare. Your mom isn't bothered by you, she loves you and wants you to be happy. Please don't feel bad about yourself.

"Lastly, please don't feel bad about this. I want you to come to me when you're upset so I can do my best to help you feel better. Do you understand?"

Eren nodded weakly. He was still crying but it wasn't nearly as violent as before. 

There was still one part that Levi had to address. For this, he pulled back slightly from Eren to look him in the eyes. "If you can't tell me how you feel or if there's anything you want to say but can't, then just show me, okay? Actions speak louder than words." 

That advice echoed in Eren's head repeatedly. They were definitely some words of wisdom that he would put to use. 

Eren pulled Levi back into the hug and wept, but this time it was out of gratitude. "I'm s-sorry." 

Levi pecked the top of his head. "And you have nothing to be sorry for, you haven't done anything wrong." 

Eren sniffled before he responded in a shaky voice, "... thank you." 

"Anything for you." Levi murmured against his skin.

Around five minutes later, Eren had stopped crying, but they still held on to each other. Eren didn't want to be left alone and Levi didn't want to leave.

"Do you need anything? Water or food?" Levi asked.

"No... I'm not hungry." 

"Do you want to rest for now?"

Eren nodded. "Kinda want to watch a film... then go to sleep."

Levi got up from where they sat to go to where they kept the films. Eren tried to tell him that he'd go get it but Levi wouldn't have it. He was going to take care of him tonight. 

Eren didn't want to watch anything too serious, so he asked that Levi put in Howl's Moving Castle, which had been an old favorite of his that he watched when he felt down. Eren cuddled up to Levi on the bed and Levi held him tightly. As they waited through the previews, Levi whispered little promises in his ear. "Tomorrow I'm going to make you a big breakfast, I'll give you a foot massage, we can relax and watch anything you want. I'll make your favorite dinner and dessert... but you'll have to tell me what they are because I don't know what they are." This made Eren giggle and Levi smirked with victory. "I'll take such good care of you." 

Eren leaned up to give him a proper kiss. When they settled back, they sat silently through the rest of the film.

When it was over they got up to change into their pjs and brush their teeth. Levi got some food before hand, having not eaten anything.

Getting into bed, Levi held Eren close to his chest. He looked into his eyes, happy that they weren't watering anymore. "Good night." He whispered.

"Good night." Eren said back. He wanted to thank Levi further. Even more than that, he wanted to tell him he loved him. Everything he had just done proved to Eren that he cared deeply about him and he just wanted to show that he appreciated him. "L-Levi..."

"Hm?" 

Eren wanted to say it. He wanted to say those three little words so badly. But he knew he couldn't. His eyes darted in all directions and his breathing picked up its pace as he tried to force out the words. "I... um, I-I..."

Then, he thought back to what Levi said about actions being louder than words. He just hoped he wouldn't look stupid.

He took Levi's hand and held it to his heart, hoping he'd understand. It was beating so hard and fast that there was no possible way Levi couldn't feel it.

And he did.

An insanely wide grin placed itself of Levi's face as he looked back at him with a loving stare. Eren knew that he understood. After a moment, Levi took one of Eren's hands and set it over his own heart (which was now beating just as fast) and said, "Me too." 

Eren smiled back at him brightly, wanting to cry all over again. He didn't of course, not when Levi was right in front of him, making him feel like the luckiest person on earth. They kissed good night and it finally dawned on Eren that he never had a reason to worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a cheesy ending. Was it too cheesy? If you liked this, please leave a comment or kudos. I appreciate the ones that I've gotten already, thank you guys so much!!! My tumblr is dr-s--art if you want to check it out. It has all my art and fics on there. I didn't edit this chapter, so I'm sorry if there are any errors. Thanks for reading!


	11. Be It The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After sharing a conversation with his friends, Levi is inspired to show Eren just how strongly he feels about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trash for writing this. Complete & utter trash. I had to write this chapter considering the things I put Eren through in the last chapter. Don't even look at me. 
> 
> *smut warning

It was now about a month after the incident. Eren's things were completely moved into what was now his and Levi's home. Levi never forgot to give him little affirmations everyday, telling him how happy he was that they lived together. Bit by bit, Eren's worries about moving in went away.

Levi was now heading in to work. Today was one of those rare days where Eren got to stay home while he went away. Levi felt bad about leaving him. Not because he thought Eren couldn't handle it, but because he missed Eren so much. 

That, coupled with his loud bespectacled companion greeting him, was his reason for showing up ten minutes late with a grumpy attitude. 

"Levi! We thought you weren't coming in today!" Hanji hollered. "It would be quite the disaster without you, you know."

"Tch, it's our slowest day of the week, I'd hardly call one missing employee a disaster." He muttered. "You're lucky I showed up at all."

"Hm?" Hanji pranced around the counter to follow him in his shadow, pestering him. "What was keeping you?" 

Levi ignored her and began wiping down some tables. They were already spotless, but he'd do anything to escape her questions. 

"Was it traffic?" She leaned against a table to continue bothering him. 

He didn't answer her, he didn't even look up. 

"Sleep through your alarm clock, did ya?"

More silence.

"Did you stop to save a cat stuck in a tree?"

"Why do you care?!" Levi snapped. He really couldn't fathom why she was so interested in why he was only ten minutes late. He wasn't often late, but when he was, this happened every time without fail.

Erwin came in from the back, chalkboard in hand. He knelt down to start writing out the day's specials. "Oh Hanji, quit dragging out the process."

"Thank you, Erwin." Levi sighed with relief. 

"You and I both know the real reason he was late."

Levi groaned at the loss of false hope.

"Why, no I don't!" Hanji said in mock confusion, perfectly aware of what (or who) he was referring to. "Please enlighten me." 

Erwin sauntered over to where Hanji stood, just as Levi weaved between them to seek refuge by the counter. "Well, it's obviously because there's a certain someone who's occupying all his time."

"Fuck off, eyebrows." Levi said.

"And said person is somebody that Levi just can't refuse." Erwin teased.

Hanji clapped her hands together. "How romantic! Can't even bare to be separated, so he stayed for as long as he could! Oh, I can just see it now," she grabbed Erwin's hands. Erwin was too eager to keep making fun of Levi to protest. Hanji bent her knees to exaggerate Levi's height and lowered her voice. "Eren, don't worry, my darling. I'll return as soon as I can so we can be reunited once more!" 

"I am going to murder both of you in your sleep." 

Erwin and Hanji broke out into laughter. "But... But Levi!" Hanji said in between breaths. "If you do that, you'll have less time to be with Eren!" 

Levi responded by chucking an empty cup in her face. He didn't want to be reminded that he couldn't stay with Eren. He would never admit to them that he was currently missing him like crazy. 

"Hey, look on the bright side." Erwin tried to ease the situation. "Now that he's moved in you two can be-"

"WHAT?!" Hanji yelled.

"Now you've done it." Levi pinched the bridge of his nose.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE MOVED IN?!" Hanji slammed her hands on the counter.

"Because I knew you'd act like-"

"How precious! I can't believe it Erwin!" She started to jump with joy. "Our two little love birds now share a little love nest! I can hardly stand it!"

"Erwin, just rip off my ears. End my misery." 

 

~

 

A couple hours into work, things started to quiet down. After customers started to come in, Levi was left alone by his two friends. He wasn't lying when he said it was the slowest day of the week. There were only four people sitting at tables and the line had disappeared.

Levi leaned on the counter, took out his phone and scrolled through his photos, which mostly consisted of pictures of Eren. He sighed, wishing that when his break came, Eren would call him or even drop by to pay a visit. Though, his break wasn't for another half hour and he doubted that Eren would swing by just for twenty minutes.

Hanji made her way over to stand by Levi. She leaned over to hopefully gain his attention through his peripheral vision. "Hey, sorry for bugging you earlier."

"Whatever." He mumbled, eyes still glued to his phone. Hanji knew that she was forgiven, otherwise he would have argued further.

"In all seriousness though, how are things going with you two?"

He hummed contentedly. "Really good."

"That's good, how long has he been living with you?"

Levi glanced upward to ponder about the answer, but otherwise didn't stop looking through his photos. "It'll be a month in a few days."

Hanji let out a huff. "All this time and you didn't tell me. I'm hurt." She put her hand over her heart.

Levi sent her a warning glare, to which she laughed at. There was no hate behind it. She then crouched over with her elbows on the counter to be at eye level with him. "You love him a lot, don't you?" She asked with a grin.

Levi glanced at her with the same venom-less stare. 

"Don't you?" She poked his arm. He tried to dodge it as best as he could.

"Of course I do, idiot."

"And does he love you?" She shifted closer.

Levi mumbled something too soft for her to hear.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I said I think he does." He replied, now making it an effort to not look at her.

"Wait, you don't know?" She gaped at him. 

"Are you deaf? I said I think he does." He barked.

"Hold on. There's a big difference between thinking and knowing. What has he done when you told him you loved him? Does he just stand there and say 'thanks?'" 

"Well... I haven't exactly... told him yet. Not verbally, anyway." Levi scratched the back of his neck, becoming slightly uncomfortable. Did Eren even know that he loved him? Did he really know?

"Then how does he know that you love him?" Hanji couldn't be more lost.

"He knows." He had to, right? Then again, Levi was the one to propose that he move in with him and Eren still wasn't sure if that's what Levi wanted. But he had to know. Levi thought about the first time when Eren took his hand and placed it over his heart after Levi had told him to show him how he felt rather than say it. He thought about how he returned the sentiment and how ever since then, they would rest in silence, whether it be in bed or watching television. While they sat there, their hands would slowly wander until they reached their beating destination. It was their own way of telling the other that they loved them. They didn't need to say it. "I'm positive he knows."

"Well are you going to tell him?!" Hanji persisted.

"Yeah but not before he does. I don't want him to feel obligated or pressured." 

"Awww," Hanji melted where she stood. "You're so sweet and considerate!" 

Levi rolled his eyes as he prepared himself to greet the customer that was walking in. Though, he couldn't push away the thoughts that begged the question of how he could show Eren how much he loved him without having to say it. He was going to try to think of something.

 

~

 

On his way home, Levi stopped at the flower shop that Eren worked at. 

The chime of the bell was followed by a familiar, friendly greeting. "Welcome to- Levi! What a pleasant surprise!" Eren's mother marched over to give him a brief hug. 

"Hello, Carla." He responded. "How are you?"

"I'm doing great," she said as she stood back. "And how are you?"

"I'm good too." He started to walk with her to get away from the door and the draft that it was bringing in. "I need some advice on some things to get for Eren."

"Oo, for what occasion?" 

Levi shrugged. "No occasion. I just want to surprise him. You know, give him some things just to say I love him. Does he have a favorite flower?"

Carla nodded with a knowing smile. "Say no more, I have you covered." She went to the far corner in the shop to get some supplies for making a bouquet. After the wrapping was set out, she picked out some flowers to place in it.

She handed Levi the finished product. "Voila! Red tulips." 

"Thank you so much." He beamed. "How much?"

Carla waved him off. "Nothing. If they're for Eren, you don't have to pay a cent."

Levi insisted that he should pay, but Carla refused him every time. Even if they weren't for Eren she would've given them to him for free just because he was Eren's boyfriend. After a few more questions relating to Eren's preferences, it was time for Levi to hit the road again. 

 

~

 

Levi entered their house as quietly as he could. He snuck into the kitchen and set the bouquet along with his other supplies down on the table.

Eren was turning on the stove to make dinner and stood back to let it warm up. He still hadn't noticed that Levi came in.

Levi jumped and tackled him with a hug from behind, declaring, "I'm home!" 

"O-oh my god!" Eren yelped. He turned around and embraced Levi. "Don't scare me like that!" 

"I'm sorry, babe." He kissed his cheek. "I missed you so much. I couldn't stop thinking about you all day." 

"I missed you too." He hugged Levi tightly. "I'm making dinner now, it'll take a bit."

"That's alright." Levi walked to the table where he had set everything, picked it all up and hid it behind his back. "I got you some things." He presented the bouquet to Eren first. 

Eren covered his mouth in a vague attempt to hide a gasp and took several unsure steps. He met Levi's gaze. "I... I don't know what to say." 

Levi shrugged. "You don't have to say anything." He didn't expect that kind of reaction from Eren. They were only flowers. But he wasn't one to complain when he saw that beautiful smile light up his boyfriend's face. 

Eren walked up to him and gently grabbed the sides of his head to pull him in for a kiss. 

"I brought you some other little things too." 

"What's with all the gifts? Is there a special occasion I've forgotten?" Eren was grateful but he never accepted getting presents very well. 

"I don't think I need a special occasion to give things to the most beautiful man in the world. I just want to spoil you." He punctuated his statement with a peck to the lips. 

He took out a bag of gummy bears that were also hidden behind his back. "I, uh, would've gotten you a box of chocolates but a little birdie told me that these are your favorite." He handed the bouquet and gummy bears to Eren so he could pick up the last item. "And I bought a full sized apple cinnamon candle that you always tell me you want but you never treat yourself to."

Eren stared at his wonderful boyfriend with awe. He couldn't believe he went through the trouble to get these things for him. "You're... so thoughtful. How did I get so lucky?"

"I'm the lucky one." Levi placed a kiss on his forehead.

Eren put away the gummy bears for later, lit the candle and put the tulips in a vase with water. He stood back to admire the flowers and Levi was happy to see that he liked them so much. 

 

~

 

After dinner was eaten and the dishes were washed, the two sat in the living room, sharing the candy and some silence. 

Eren was the first to speak up. "How was work?"

"Pretty boring. Although Hanji never seizes to annoy the hell out of me. Erwin too." He rolled his eyes. 

"What did they do?"

"Oh, um..." He didn't want to bring up how Eren was the subject of most of their conversations. "They kept bugging me because I was late, nothing major." 

Eren nodded in understanding. 

"And how was your day?"

He sighed. "Mine was boring too... was a little lonely." He snuggled closer to Levi, inhaling his scent.

"I can fix that." He tilted Eren's chin up and smirked as he kissed him. Eren accepted the kiss eagerly.

Eren was getting more physically comfortable with Levi by the day. With all the short, yet meaningful touches they shared, passing by or in an intimate situation, he easily got used to it. He smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around his neck to bring him in closer. Levi gently tugged at his bottom lip before he gave him entry. He took in all the small mewls and whimpers that came from Eren. 

Levi then hoisted Eren up to sit on his lap, so that he was straddling him. He wrapped his arms securely around Eren's waist. 

The kiss became more passionate and heated very quickly. Levi reached up to thread his fingers through Eren's hair, which made him hum contentedly. 

He left a path of chaste kisses from his cheek, down his jawline and finally reached his ear. As soon as he reached his ear, Eren's breath hitched and he instinctively grinded down before he stilled completely.

Levi pulled back to observe him. Eren's cheeks were stained with a beautiful blush and he tried not to make eye contact. 

"Eren? Do you want to...?" 

He didn't need to finish his sentence for Eren to understand what he was implying. 

"Um, well ... I-I ... uh, maybe I... um," 

The older man leaned in to give a quick peck to his lips, then cocked a brow at him in question. "Hm?"

Eren gave a meek smile and nodded.

"Well sweetheart, why didn't you say so?" Levi continued his work, leaving small marks down Eren's neck, though none of them would stay till morning. He let his hands roam underneath Eren's shirt towards the small of his back, allowing one to travel over to the lower part of his stomach. 

Eren decided to be brave and start unbuttoning Levi's shirt, which caused Levi to smirk against his clavicle. Once his shirt was off, they both worked on removing Eren's. 

Levi admired the astounding sight before him. "You're so beautiful." He breathed out. The younger man only blushed harder under his gaze but Levi wasn't going to let him get shy on him. "Everything about you is gorgeous. Your skin," he stroked Eren's arm lightly. "Your hair," he tucked some of Eren's hair behind his ear. "Your eyes. My god, your eyes are incredible." He leaned in to seal a kiss after whispering, "But I think the loveliest things about you are the things I can't see."

That was all it took for Eren to completely melt. He was sure that Levi could feel him grinning like an idiot against his lips. 

Levi's hands maneuvered lower to grasp Eren's firm ass, eliciting a moan from the brunet. He drank up all the sweet noises that were given to him and grinded up, pulling even more sounds from him. He thumbed at Eren's pants and made eye contact in a silent question, asking if he could take them off. To which, Eren nodded.

Levi slid off Eren's jeans along with his boxers, leaving him feeling exposed and embarrassed at how his body was so honest in showing how excited he was. Eren thought that he would be more confident when Levi was lacking all his clothes like he was.

Oh, how he was wrong.

Levi removed the remainder of his clothing and Eren couldn't help but stare. He had seen Levi shirtless before but that was the extent of it, and from what he could tell, Levi was quite a bit larger than he was. Eren became very self conscious suddenly.

"Are you alright?" Levi asked.

Eren nodded. "I'm okay... just ... just a l-little nervous, I guess." 

"You okay to continue?"

"Yes." Eren braced his hands on Levi's shoulders and reconnected their lips. Levi rested one hand on Eren's ass to keep him stable, snaking the other hand between their torsos to grab both of them. They both released a deep moan at this. Levi set a slow pace, doing everything he could to get Eren to make noise.

Levi rolled his hips, rocking into Eren, which caused him to dig his nails into Levi's shoulders. "Shit... s-sorry."

"It's okay." He thumbed over his and Eren's slit, causing Eren to grab on tighter and hide his face in the crook of Levi's neck. 'How cute.' Levi thought. Eren's eyes were screwed shut as a result of the pleasure he was feeling. Levi could feel the hot breath on his shoulder, becoming ragged. This only spurred him on, so he sped up his hand's movements. 

Eren rocked down onto Levi, seeking more friction and making the man groan at the action. He repeated this several times, creating a rhythm that matched Levi's. Eventually, Levi reciprocated these motions, letting out heavy moans just as Eren was whimpering uncontrollably. 

At some point, Eren peaked his eye open and caught a glimpse of the vase full of red tulips, which only made him melt even further into Levi. "L-Levi, m' close... I-I'm -uhn... god..."

"I'm close too, baby." Levi muttered into Eren's hair.

Levi, feeling his release approaching, tightened his grip on them and on Eren's ass. Eren squeaked and dug his nails even further into Levi's skin. 

"Levi... I-Ah!" 

Abandoning whatever rhythm he had, Levi started bucking forcefully into Eren. 

The younger one knew he wouldn't last for long so he pulled back and smashed his lips against Levi's in a desperate kiss, which Levi gladly returned. 

It seemed as though all at once Eren and Levi both reached their peak, refusing to break the kiss. They wanted to be completely engulfed in each other. 

Unfortunately, they had to part some time. When they did, they weren't separated very far. As the two tried to catch their breaths, they breathed the same air and locked gazes. For once, Eren didn't feel vulnerable while being watched so closely and intensely. It felt like something sacred was taking place and neither of them wanted to disturb it. 

 

~

 

After they had spent awhile reveling in each other's presence, Levi had let Eren lie down while he fetched a couple wash cloths and took care of their mess. When that was finished, he brought some blankets out from the closets, as neither he nor Eren wanted to move into the bedroom. He didn't bother to retrieve pajamas either, he didn't feel like it was necessary and Eren hadn't asked for them. 

He laid down with Eren and got under the blankets, cuddling him close to his chest. Eren looked up at him and had an expression that made it look like he had something to say. He did try to get something out but nothing ever came.

"What is it?" Levi asked, placing a kiss to his forehead.

"Y-You know what I want to say." Eren phrased this as a statement rather than a question and moved a hand up Levi's chest. 

Levi nodded and smiled softly. "I certainly do. So that would mean that you know what I want to say back." 

Eren nodded, wearing a giddy simper. Levi leaned down to give him one last kiss for the night. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Goodnight, Levi." 

One more day. Eren was one more day closer to declaring his love, using his own words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone speak flower language? If you do, you might get why Eren was so happy to see the bouquet. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I feel like I should add another tag pertaining to the smut to warn people but I'm not sure what it would be. (Aside from garbage.) If you liked this chapter, please leave a kudos or a comment, all the comments & kudos I've gotten have made my day, so thank you to everyone who has left either! If you'd like to check out my tumblr that has all my art & fics on it, it's called dr-s--art. I didn't edit this, so sorry if there are any errors. Thanks for reading!


	12. Be It Skeptical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety is an infection of the mind that feeds us lies and convinces us to do unreasonable things and Eren was definitely at its mercy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS RIDICULOUSLY SHORT IM SORRY. Also, it gets a lot worse from here on in... enjoy!

Eren was sitting outside on the porch, painting away. Summer had rolled around and he decided to take advantage of the warm weather, even though it was raining. The patter of rain on the roof was soothing to him, so he didn't really mind. June was typically his favorite month. No more cold weather, no more snow, sales at the flower shop went up. His mother was definitely more happy about the seasons changing than anyone he could think of.

He started the rough outline of his painting, not overly concerned about being neat. He heard a faint creak from the front door and smirked to himself. "I know you're there." He announced to Levi.

"Ugh! What gave me away?" Levi whined.

"You opened the door too loudly. And stop trying to sneak up on me all the time! Especially when I'm painting."

Levi snaked his arms around Eren's waist from behind. "Aw, I'm sorry." He pecked Eren's cheek. "Can you forgive me?"

"Yes." Eren grinned and turned to give Levi a proper kiss on the lips. He went back to work as Levi rested his head on his shoulder. 

"What are you painting?"

"Swans." Eren hummed contentedly. He never thought his every day life would ever be this blissful. He never imagined that he'd be living with someone so special and that he was so infatuated with. If anybody told him that this is what everyday would be like, living in a comfortable home, getting to practice his favorite hobby and had the man of his dreams holding him the whole time, he wouldn't have believed them. It was too good to be true. 

"Have I ever told you how much I love your art?" Levi muttered into Eren's hair.

Eren rolled his eyes. "Only every time I paint." He decided to tease a little further. "Gosh, why don't you just marry one of my paintings already?"

"That's not such a bad idea. Maybe I would if you made a self portrait."

The younger man spluttered and his cheeks burned red. "St-stop saying stuff like that." 

Levi chuckled and planted another kiss to the side of Eren's head. "As you wish." He stood up and made his way to the door. "I'm going to make us some lunch. You stay here and make another masterpiece." 

Eren blew out an amused breath and got back to work.

 

~

 

Eren had stayed outside for nearly two hours before he finished. It started to rain harder so he packed up his supplies and came inside. Once everything was put away where it belonged, he joined Levi out on the couch where he was doing taxes and paying bills. He seemed to be rather frustrated. He kept exhaling heavily and grabbing at his hair absentmindedly, focused on his work. 

Eren felt slightly uncomfortable that his boyfriend was so annoyed. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine." He tossed some papers to the other side of the coffee table and slumped back on the couch, done with his work. "It's just that the bills have gotten worse these past few months. Not by much, though. I mean I'm not gonna have any trouble paying them and I can still afford what I usually get aside from them. But they're raised just enough to the point where it's annoying, you know?"

Eren nodded in understanding. He leaned against Levi and Levi wrapped his arm around him. They both shared the silence for a considerable amount of time before Eren's thoughts got to him again.

Could it be that he was the reason for Levi's financial troubles? He was the only difference in Levi's life within the past few months that could've caused this. Extra groceries needed to be bought, more electricity was used if they were in different rooms, more water was used when he washed his hands, used the toilet or the shower and none of that sat well with Eren at all. He was putting all these burdens on Levi and it was stressing him out so badly. Something had to change if he was going to be rid of his guilt.

 

~

 

Later that week, Levi stood in the kitchen, writing down things he needed to get while grocery shopping. He walked into the living room, tapping his pen on his pad and faced Eren, who was laying on the couch.

Levi thought it was odd that he was laying there in the dark without the television on again. It was the fourth time in five days. He decided to address what he came in there for first. "I'm making a grocery list, what do you want for dinner this week?"

He noticed how Eren visibly stiffened at the question. Eren's brows furrowed in deep concentration as he thought over his answer. "Um..." He sat up and tried his best to think of a believable lie as to why Levi shouldn't get any extra food. "You don't need to get anything extra for me for dinner... or breakfast."

Levi looked at him skeptically. "Why not?"

"Because ... because I'm taking up extra hours at work... so I won't be home to eat meals with you." He said in a manner that gave the impression that he was disappointed about it.

"Oh, then I'll make you things to take to work."

"That... won't be necessary." Eren bit his lip. "Uh, my mom and I are staying at the shop longer and she's bringing food for us both." He nodded to himself. That seemed like a plausible answer. 

"Oh..." Levi felt a little hurt that Eren wouldn't be spending as much time with him but he didn't voice his thoughts. Maybe Eren just wanted to spend more time with his mom. "Well, what about the days when you don't work?" 

"Um..." Levi really needed to stop asking him questions he didn't know the answer to. "I'm... uh... I thought that I'd treat myself by going out those days. I can get you some food too, if you'd like." 

Another pang in Levi's chest. He felt so rejected. That meant that Eren would be leaving him every day of the week. "... You don't have to." 

"Alright. Then you don't need to get any more food than what you'd get for yourself. I start that new schedule tomorrow by the way." Eren laid back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. That was one costly thing out of the way. Now he was working on saving electricity.

Levi eyed him nervously. "Are you okay?" 

He shifted uncomfortably. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Eren mumbled into the pillow.

"Because this is at least the fourth time I've seen you laying on the couch with no lights or tv. It's making me worried. And you're saying weird things and pausing when you talk again. It's been awhile since you've done that."

Eren flinched and clutched at the cushion he was holding onto. Levi thought he struck a nerve or crossed a line. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I'm just really worried about you."

Eren lifted his head to look at him. "I'm okay. Really, I am." 

"Are you sure? Because if you're not it's-"

"I'm fine." Eren said a little too firmly. "I promise." He said just above a whisper, noticing his error.

Levi nodded and sat next to where he laid, petting his hair. "I believe you. I'm making dinner in a bit, what do you want?"

Eren refused to look him in the eye to avoid the guilt of worrying Levi. "... I'm not hungry." He said in a hushed tone.

There was no denying it now. There was definitely something wrong and Levi knew it. But he didn't want to upset Eren further so he simply kissed Eren and said, "Okay. If you get hungry let me know, sweetheart." 

Eren nodded, still avoiding eye contact and waited for Levi to leave before he let a single tear roll down his face. 'I just keep hurting him.' He thought. Needless to say, he never told Levi that he was hungry.

Later that night, when they went to bed, Eren clung to Levi's chest tightly and for some reason he couldn't explain, it broke Levi's heart. So, he held him just as tightly, murmuring how much he cared about Eren into his hair until they fell asleep.

 

~

 

The alarm clock woke Eren up a half an hour earlier than usual, simultaneously waking up Levi. Eren reluctantly pulled away from Levi, stepping out of bed to get dressed. 

"I don't like this new schedule of yours." Levi muttered, agitated.

Eren sighed sorrowfully. "I don't like it either." He lazily pulled on some random work clothes from the closet, not caring what it was. He didn't want to leave Levi earlier than usual but he had to. Eren didn't want to leave him at all but that was inevitable.

Levi got up from his spot on the bed and made his way to the kitchen. "W-what are you doing?" Eren asked tentatively. 

"I'm making some coffee for you and me." He smiled back at Eren.

"U-uh, no thanks! My mom is bringing that with breakfast." 

"Nonsense," Levi started to prepare the coffee pot. "I don't want you falling asleep at the wheel, silly." He walked back to place a peck on Eren's cheek.

"I'm awake! I'm not tired at all." He lied. 

Levi pouted, giving Eren his best puppy dog eyes. "Come on, sweetie. I can't even make you coffee? Please let me get you something before you go."

How could he refuse that face? "Oh alright. Just today though!"

"Great!" Levi got everything prepared as Eren got ready for work, taking extra money with him. 

Right before Eren left, Levi stopped him to give him a long lasting kiss and handed him his coffee. "Have a good day at work, baby." 

"Thanks, Levi. You have a good day at work too." 

They said their goodbyes and Eren went on his way. His coffee went untouched as the guilt bared down on him harshly. He pulled into a drive through of a cheap fast food restaurant. He ordered a breakfast muffin along with some other things but decided against getting a drink. He would drink Levi's coffee after all, because he'd feel guiltier waisting it rather than just taking it. 

He ate the food in the parking lot, wincing at the taste. It wasn't of the highest quality and was somewhat gross. He didn't like the texture and it had an aftertaste. It wasn't very appetizing but at least he was full and ready to go. His coffee took care of the aftertaste which made him happy.

After getting breakfast, he stopped at a nearby gas station to pick up something cheap for lunch. He knew he wouldn't be able to afford his usual lunch soon with all the meals he'd be buying for himself, so he settled for a bag of chips for two dollars and a can of tea for one dollar. With his breakfast and dinner costing roughly the same price at six dollars, he supposed he'd be set financially for quite some time. 

He entered the flower shop and greeted his mother warmly. She was surprised to say the least. "Never being late is one thing but being early? What's up with that?" She teased.

"Oh, I uh, wanted to stop and get something to eat beforehand."

Carla looked at her son suspiciously. "Can't you get something at home?"

"I ... was really craving a breakfast muffin." 

She pinched one of his ears that was turning bright red. "You're lying. But I guess it's no problem. You're early and I can find out your little secret later. Right now I'd appreciate if you'd help me sort the new shipments."

Eren agreed to help and Carla finished quickly with the extra set of hands. Afterwards, Eren placed his drink in the refrigerator that they kept in the back, drawing his mother's attention. "What's that for?"

"Lunch. I brought a bag of chips too."

Carla nodded. "Mm, very nutritious." She remarked sarcastically. "So, you're not going out to get lunch today?" 

He shook his head. "No, I don't feel like it. Plus this is cheaper." Carla couldn't really argue with that.

Eren started to regret his choice of food. His stomach started grumbling, not out of hunger but out of discomfort. If he looked long enough, perhaps he could find something just as cheap but also healthy. He'd set a reminder to go to the store and look for something that would fit those requirements. He let out a heavy sigh and got to work, preparing the shop to open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shoot that was short. I'm sorry, the next chapter will be longer and it all goes down hill from here. I didn't edit, so sorry for any errors. If you follow me on tumblr, you may have seen my announcement that I'm working on another fic that I'm uber excited about. That's why this chapter was so short. I'm just really into this other fic I'm working on. I can't express how excited I am for it because it's an au that I've never seen but am obsessed with. I'm not sure if anyone else will be as excited as I am because it's a very specific topic but who knows? I'm not going to give any hints as to what it's about & im not sure when I'm uploading the first chapter. Probably some time soon though. If I'm inconsistent with the chapters for this fic or the other one, blame it on the holidays and me being a busy bee. If you want to check out my tumblr that has all my fics as well as art, it's dr-s--art. I hope you liked this, if you did please leave a comment or kudos to let me know, it's greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!!! ^-^


	13. Be It Painful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren will go to great lengths just to make sure he isn't a nuisance to Levi. He would even sacrifice his health.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think this chapter is bad, just wait. Don't worry, I have more suffering planned. 
> 
> But in all seriousness, things are going to get worse before they get better. Fair warning, this chapter shows a couple different struggles with eating, both getting sick & denying food. If that bothers you, please don't read this chapter. If it doesn't, please read on & enjoy!

After two weeks of eating nothing but chips and things from fast food restaurants, just to save Levi the money and time, Eren was becoming very slow and tired. He only ate three "meals" a day and they weren't plentiful nor were they nutritious. Levi noticed too. He wasn't aware of what Eren had been eating but he noticed how Eren got lightheaded when he stood up. He noticed how Eren would silently grumble in discomfort when he thought Levi wasn't there. 

Eren had failed to find healthy meals that he could afford and keep hidden from Levi at the same time. He would've gotten cheap fruit and vegetables but they'd need refrigeration. He had no place to stock them where Levi wouldn't see. 

Levi was so worried about him. Every time he asked Eren to sit down and eat with him, Eren would say he wasn't hungry or that he'd be leaving to eat out soon anyways. Levi started to think that maybe it was because Eren didn't like his cooking. Or maybe it was because Eren felt smothered by him. Levi knew that he could be extremely clingy. He admitted it to himself and Eren a few times. Maybe that was the cause, he thought. So he decided to back off from Eren for a bit, regardless of how much it pained him.

Two weeks after Eren had started eating out, he began to feel a little ill. One night, he left work and stopped at the fast food place that he normally visited and ordered a burger with fries and a water. He stayed in the parking lot to eat his meal, as usual when his stomach started turning painfully. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He barely finished his food before his stomach screamed in pain. He did his best to get home safely.

 

~

 

Once he got home, he straightened his back and pretended that he wasn't hurting. After his new "schedule," he got home either at the same time or after Levi arrived. Tonight, he got home after.

Levi got up from the couch to greet Eren. He kissed him on the lips and asked, "How was your day?"

"Good, how was yours?" Eren smiled weakly.

"It was alright, I missed you a lot." Levi mumbled. Eren grinned at the feeling of being wanted. Levi walked back to the couch, bringing Eren with him. "What did your mom bring for dinner for you two this time?"

Eren hesitated before he answered. "Soup and salad." His stomach only turned more. He was disgusted with himself for lying to Levi.

Levi rested his head on Eren's shoulder and held his hand. He had been watching something on the television but now that Eren was here, he ignored it. "I should bring you some dessert tomorrow. It's your day off right?"

Eren nodded. "Yeah, but... don't buy me anything." 

Levi looked up at him. "Why not? You deserve a treat for working more hours."

"I don't want dessert." Eren protested. Even if he was willing to let Levi spend money on him, he didn't think he'd be able to eat it. 

Levi looked at him dead in the eyes with concern. "Are you okay? You've been acting so strange lately. It's like you have a problem with me doing things for you all of the sudden. Did I do something?"

Eren shook his head rapidly. "No! You didn't do anything!" He couldn't have Levi feeling all of the guilt.

"Then what's wrong?"

Eren's eyes dropped lower. "...Nothing." He whispered. "I'm fine."

Levi brushed some hair out of his eyes. "I don't think you are. If it's something I can help with, then please-"

"I'm fine." Eren said more sternly. 

Levi's hand retreated. He didn't want to anger his boyfriend anymore. "Okay. I believe you." He planted a kiss on Eren's cheek.

This only made Eren want to sob. Levi only wanted to help and Eren was pushing him away, lying to him, hurting him, snapping at him. He felt like he was the worst excuse for a boyfriend ever. 

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to yell." 

Levi chuckled. "I wouldn't exactly call that yelling but it's okay. I'm sorry for pestering you." 

"You're allowed to pester me." Eren said with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood.

 

~

 

Later, the two got ready for bed and Eren took an extra moment in the bathroom. It was obvious that all that junk food couldn't be good for him but he wanted to see what kind of damage it was doing weight-wise. He stripped to his boxers and stepped on the scale that they kept in the bathroom. 

His eyebrows shot up. Nine pounds in two weeks. How on earth could he let that happen? Did it show?

Eren looked into their full length mirror to see if the weight gained was visible. He looked at his stomach and noticed that what was normally slightly toned and thin was now filled out. His thighs looked a bit thicker and his cheeks seemed ever so slightly more pudgy. 

Panic flooded his mind. What if Levi saw? Levi was far too polite to say anything about it if he did. Was Levi disgusted with how he gained weight? What was he going to do?

Eren peaked out of the door to see if Levi was in their bedroom yet. He didn't want him to see him like this anymore. As quick as he could, Eren exited the bathroom and rummaged through his closet to find the loosest shirt he had. Once he slipped it on, he dug around for some baggy sweatpants. He threw them on and then got into bed, covering himself up in the biggest blanket they had to hide his form.

Levi walked in, scratching the back of his head. He saw Eren all bundled up on the bed and exhaled an amused breath. "A little warm for all that, isn't it?"

Eren shook his head. "I'm cold." 

Levi shrugged and got into bed next to Eren. "You're kinda cute like that. All bundled up, looking cozy warm."

Eren hid his face under the blankets when he felt himself blushing. Levi smiled and kissed his forehead before getting under the sheets and cuddling up next to Eren. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Eren said before Levi drifted off into sleep. Eren remained awake for several hours afterwards. There were too many intruding thoughts in his mind, he couldn't possibly sleep while he felt so guilty, so gross and troublesome. 

After about 1:00 in the morning, he managed to shut up his thoughts long enough to fall asleep.

 

~

 

At some point, hours before their alarm clock sounded, Eren woke up with his stomach turning and aching. He clutched at his center and willed for it to go away, but it never did. He began tossing and turning, trying to find some sort of comfort. It was then that he realized that the blankets he slept under were too hot so he threw them on the ground. Levi hadn't woken up yet, but he seemed to be stirring. 

Eren sat up quickly, making him go dizzy. The room was spinning and that only made him feel more sick. At the rapid movement, Levi sprung awake, disoriented. 

"Hmm... Eren? Wuss going on?" Levi eyes hadn't exactly opened and he tried to reach out for Eren, but grabbed nothing.

Eren felt something coming up and flung his hand over his mouth. He rushed out of bed and into the bathroom as fast as he could. Levi tried to follow closely behind.

Eren dropped to his knees as soon as he was in front of the toilet and threw up everything he had eaten the day before. He clung to the sides of the toilet for support as he was to weak to hold himself up. 

Levi came rushing in and kneeled by Eren's side. There wasn't much he could do so he started rub circles on Eren's back. 

Eren kept heaving until there was nothing left to be rid of. When he was finished, he grabbed a bit of toilet paper to wipe his mouth and set his head down on the edge of the toilet, panting heavily. Levi got up to retrieve and wash cloth. He wetted it with cold water and sat back down next to Eren, laid the wash cloth over his forehead and rubbed his shoulder. 

Eren's eyes started to water when he saw Levi's concern. "... I'm sorry." He mumbled.

Levi shook his head. "Don't be sorry. You can't control it if you get sick."

'But I can.' Eren thought. 'If I didn't force myself to eat such crappy food, this wouldn't have happened.'

"My poor baby." Levi said. "You probably got overheated in the night. Damn, on your day off too. Poor thing." He tucked some loose strands of hair behind Eren's ear. 

Eren just wanted him to stop talking. He didn't want Levi's pity. He already felt horrible for waking him up. 

After Eren had time to breathe, he thought it was safe to go back to bed. Levi tucked him in and brought a bucket to his side of the bed. "If you can't make it to the toilet, use this. Okay?" Eren nodded slightly. Levi made a move to take away the large blanket that Eren pulled over himself, fearing that he'd overheat again. Eren almost let him, then he remembered why he had it in the first place and yanked it out of Levi's grip. He shook his head with pleading eyes. Levi huffed out an amused breath at how childish it seemed. "Go ahead, suit yourself." 

Levi left for a moment, taking the warmed wash cloth back to get it cold and wet again. Levi kissed Eren's forehead and placed the wash cloth over where his lips had just been.

Levi got into bed and petted Eren's hair. "Get some rest." 

 

~

 

Eren woke up the next morning with a bit less pain in his stomach, but it was still there. He looked at the alarm clock and saw that it was past the time it was set to. He must have slept right through it. Levi, he thought, was probably getting ready for work by now.

It shocked him when Levi came out of the bathroom, still in his pajamas. He yawned. "How are you feeling?" 

Eren thought about it for a minute. He was far too hot and sweaty, so that wasn't good and he was still in pain from- wait. Why wasn't Levi getting ready? Why wasn't he in his work clothes?

"What are you doing? You need to get ready to go." Eren said in a hoarse voice.

Levi rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, smirking. "I called in sick."

Eren's eyes widened. "You're sick too?"

Levi chuckled. "No, but you are. I'm not going to leave you alone when you feel so awful. I need to take care of you." 

"Nooo." Eren whined, shaking his head. "I'll be okay. Don't let me keep you here."

That didn't convince Levi. He sat down on the bed next to Eren. "No honey. I'm gonna stay home to help you get better, okay?"

"No, not okay." Eren tried to sound as strict as he could with his weak voice. "Go to work."

Levi smirked and looked like he was about to give in. He leaned in close, humming softly and whispered, "No."

Eren pouted and groaned agitatedly.

 

~

 

After a nap, Eren woke up to see Levi by his side. Eren never had anything to eat the first time he woke up, so Levi thought he'd offer breakfast. "Do you want anything to eat?"

Eren shook his head. "Mm, not hungry." Just as he said that, his stomach growled loudly. 

Levi raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Mhm, yeah sure." He stood up and left to make breakfast. "I'll cook you something."

"N-no!" Eren called after him. He wouldn't have Levi waisting his energy or food on him. "I uh...don't think I could hold it down if I ate!"

Levi stopped in his tracks. "Oh, right. Sorry, I didn't think about that." He spinned on his heel and walked back to the bed and laid down next to Eren. "You let me know if you get hungry okay?" Eren nodded, though it was a lie, considering he was already hungry. "Is there anything you need? Medicine, ice pack, anything at all?"

Eren's mouth was very dry and one glass couldn't hurt Levi's wallet too much. "Can I have some water?"

Levi pecked Eren's forehead. "Of course." Levi got up to go get a cup for him and left Eren to his thoughts.

The guilt started to weigh heavily on his mind. Levi missed a whole day of work just for him. The thought occurred to him that he wasn't well enough to drive somewhere to get his own food. Even if he was well enough, Levi probably wouldn't let him go. Not after what he saw the night before.

Levi returned shortly, handing the glass of water to Eren, helping him sit up properly. Eren still clutched at the heavy blanket to cover himself up. He thanked Levi for the water and took small sips.

"I still can't believe you're not dying under all that." Levi eyed Eren's blanket.

Eren shrugged. "I'm still cold." His ears started to get red and he could feel it.

Levi wrinkled his nose in disbelief and pointed at Eren's ears. Eren thought he'd been caught. "You don't look very cold, your ears are heating up."

'That's right.' Eren thought. Levi didn't know that that happened when he lied. "The rest of me is cold." His boyfriend still didn't seem convinced but he relented. 

 

~

 

Throughout the day, Levi kept asking Eren if he was hungry. He kept offering to make him food but, Eren refused every time. Levi was getting worried sick, it was nearly six o'clock and Eren still hadn't eaten a morsel. 

The two were watching television again and relaxing. Levi was eating a salad and Eren stared at it, absolutely starving. Levi heard his stomach growling again and turned to catch him shifting his eyes away from the salad. "Do you want some?" He offered.

"... No thank you." Eren mumbled.

That was the last straw. Levi couldn't watch anymore of this. He sighed heavily and stalked into the kitchen. He pulled out a plate from the cabinets and took out a bit of crackers and chopped up some carrots. He refilled Eren's glass of water and took everything to their bedroom.

Eren eyed him curiously as he sat on the edge of the bed next to him and set down the plate and glass. "Sweetie, can you sit up?" Eren nodded and sat up, clutching at the blankets still. Levi took a cracker and placed it in front of Eren's face. "Eat."

Eren stared at it for a moment and gulped before he shook his head.

"Eren, please." Levi begged.

"No, I'm not hungry."

"Eren." Levi insisted. "I get that too much food will make you sick but a few carrots and crackers won't. You haven't eaten a single thing since you've woken up and you emptied your stomach last night. You need to eat something." 

Levi held out the cracker again and Eren gently pushed his hand away. "I don't need any food." Eren said in a shaky voice.

Levi couldn't fathom why Eren wouldn't accept a couple pieces of food. He knew he was hungry, Eren couldn't even try to convince him otherwise. "Please, just eat it. Just one."

Eren continued to shake his head.

"You're going to starve if you don't eat anything! Please eat it." Levi pleaded. "I don't want you to starve." 

The way Levi said that broke Eren's heart. He didn't want to cause him any pain. Slowly, Eren reached to take the cracker from Levi and took a bite. As soon as it hit his tongue, he felt like was taking something that didn't belong to him. He slumped his shoulders and lowered his head as he chewed. He ate the rest of the cracker and his eyes became watery.

Levi gave him some water to sip out of and a cracker. "Another?" Eren nodded meekly and took the water first and then the cracker. "One more?" Levi gave him yet another cracker.

Within twenty minutes, Levi helped Eren eat the entire plate of carrots and crackers. Eren was still hungry, but he felt better than he had before. At least physically. 

Levi took away the dishes and Eren was left alone again. 

By the time Levi came back, Eren's head was bowed and he was letting silent tears fall down his face. He felt like a helpless, pathetic freeloader. 

Levi rushed to his side and put his arms around him patting his back. "I'm sorry, but you had to eat something." Levi was completely oblivious to the problems that ran below the surface. 

Eren sniffled. "It's okay... you were right." He whispered in the crook of Levi's neck. 

Levi kissed the side of his head, doing everything he could to comfort him. "Thank you for eating." He placed a few more kisses on Eren's head and squeezed him tightly, but not enough to make it uncomfortable. "I'm not going to push it if you say no, but do you want a little something else to eat?"

"... Sure." Eren replied quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Eren did not develop an eating disorder. He was only denying himself food because he wasn't able to leave to buy any for himself. It was a one day thing. He may not always be able to get quite enough food on other days, but he's not intentionally starving himself. 
> 
> My poor baby! I feel really bad for putting him through this, forgive me! Like I said before, the next few chapters are going to get rougher. I hate myself. By the way, the first two chapters of my other fic (that I'm really hella proud of) are up! It may be garbage, but it's my garbage. 10/10 kinda, sorta recommend. If you liked this, please leave a comment or kudos to let me know, they are so very much appreciated! Thank you to those who have left such kind comments, u cool. If you'd like to check out my tumblr that has all my art and fics, it's dr-s--art. I didn't edit, so I'm sorry for any errors. I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading! <3


	14. Be It Distant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren hits an all time low, all in the effort to keep Levi happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for this chapter. That is all.

Eren's stomach never felt any better since he got sick, but he got so used to the discomfort and pain that he was able to make himself appear unbothered. His body was adjusting to the horrible food he ate, but that didn't make anything any better. He convinced Levi that he was well enough to go to work the day after he got sick and returned to his lengthy schedule. 

Eren was becoming annoyed with himself. He disliked having to always wear the same two baggy shirts and sweatpants whenever he was home. The thought of Levi seeing how much weight he gained terrified him. A little over a week and a half had passed until Eren checked the scale again. Another seven pounds since the last time. He wanted to tear his hair out. 'Why is he still with me?' He wondered. 'How long will be stay?' Every little worry, rational or irrational, was eating away at his sanity. 

Something had to be done so he could postpone Levi's departure for as long as he could. 

One night, as he was getting ready to close up the flower shop with his mom, he decided that he would ask her for help. 

"Hey, mom?" Eren mumbled.

"Yes?" Carla replied, counting the money from the cash register.

"I'm a bit short on money right now and I need new clothes. I was wondering if you could lend me some? I'd pay you back of course!"

She raised a curious brow at him. "Why don't you have enough? Are you blowing your paycheck every chance you get?" She joked lightheartedly.

"No," Eren avoided her gaze, ashamed of himself. "Bills are getting expensive lately. I really need some new clothes."

Carla nodded. "Alright. Just go into my purse and take however much you need. Pay me back when you can." 

"Thank you so much, mom. You have no idea how much this is helping me out." He hugged her from the side.

"No problem, sweetie." She patted his hand. "Now go take out the trash."

 

~

 

Once Eren got in his car, he texted Levi so he wouldn't worry. 

Eren: Hey I'm gonna be late tonight. I have some things to get.

He buckled up as he heard his phone go off.

Levi: ok don't be too long <3

Glad that Levi wasn't angry, Eren took off to the nearest store. He immediately went to the men's section and searched for extra large clothing. Even triple XL would do as long as it hid his figure. He picked through massive sweatshirts and sweatpants. He wasn't planning on spending too much money, because he didn't fancy being in debt with his mother for a long time. 

He selected one pair of sweatpants and three sweatshirts, one gray and two blue. Each were decently priced and everything was an extra extra large. Even after his weight gain, he'd be swimming in them. 

Paying for them was hard. He felt so guilty spending his mother's money for such purposes. Regardless, Eren was convinced that it had to be done. There was no way he'd let Levi see what he was becoming. 

 

~

 

Eren sat in their driveway, sitting with his hands still on the wheel, staring at nothing. Levi was just inside, waiting for him. He had to change out of his work clothes and into the sweats so Levi would remain oblivious. He struggled to change out of his clothes in such a tight space, but eventually wormed his way into the sweats. Placing his work clothes into the shopping bags, he figured it was time to face the music.

He walked inside to see Levi reading a book and drinking tea in the living room. Levi looked up from the page and regarded Eren. Levi's lips quirked up before he snickered at the sight. Eren didn't hold it against him, he knew he probably looked ridiculous coming home from work in baggy clothes in the middle of summer. But that didn't help that he was still self conscious after that small chuckle from his boyfriend. Though, he was less self conscious without his form being obvious.

"What's with the clothes?" Levi said, raising his cup to his mouth.

Eren shifted his weight. "Th-they're new. You know how I've been cold lately... so, I got something more warm."

Levi patted the space next to him, calling for Eren to come sit. When Eren sat down, Levi rested his hand on the taller one's shoulder. "Are you sick? You've been cold for such a long time and it's summer. I think you should go see a doctor." 

Eren shook his head and put on a forced smile for Levi. Everything he did nowadays was for Levi. "I'm not sick. This kind of thing... runs in my family." 

Levi squinted his eyes at him. "Is that so? You were never this cold until recently."

Eren didn't know what else to say, so he just shrugged. 

There was no point in continuing the conversation so Levi dropped it. "Do you want to watch a movie? It's probably been a long day for you." Eren agreed and Levi put in a random film, not too intent on actually paying attention to it. 

Levi turned off the lights and sat back down next to Eren releasing a heavy breath. It had been awhile since they had been physically intimate and Levi wanted to take all the weight off of Eren's back. He'd been acting so off and distant lately, so Levi wanted to make him happy and let him relax.

He set his arm around Eren's shoulder, to which Eren stiffened. 'Odd.' He thought, but he didn't think anything more of it. Levi laid his head down on Eren's shoulder. He heard him suck in a sharp breath. "Everything alright, babe?"

"Mhm." Eren replied.

It must've been nothing. Perhaps Levi was imagining things. "I miss being with you. You're never home and we don't get to do things anymore. But this is nice, don't you think?"

"Yeah." Eren agreed in a breathy voice. He too missed nights like this. He wasn't aware of Levi's intentions, so he assumed he was simply talking about being in each other's company.

Levi sat back up a bit and slid his arm away, leaning up to give Eren a soft kiss on the cheek. Eren flinched, causing Levi to retreat slightly. He wondered if Levi saw his cheeks getting puffier. When he saw Levi's confused look, he tried to play it off by grinning widely.

Levi brushed off his minuscule actions and slid his arm around Eren's waist causing him to sharply bow his back out of the touch. Levi took his arm back, fearing that he may have touched something sore. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing!" Eren chirped. "Just a little ... jittery tonight... I guess." His smile looked fairly uncomfortable and twitchy.

Levi smirked at him. He found his awkwardness endearing. If only he knew that Eren was scared, then maybe he'd take things easier. But since he was ignorant to Eren's feelings, he persisted. "You're so cute." 

That was relieving for Eren to here. His smile became genuine as his face heated up. 

Levi nuzzled his face, showing off just how much he adored his boyfriend. "And I love these chubby cheeks of yours." He punctuated his statement with a loud smooch to said body part.

Eren's heart dropped. Chubby. That was the only word he processed. In any other normal circumstances, his heart would've fluttered at the mention of the word 'love.' But this was the last thing he wanted to hear. Levi noticed his weight gain and Eren started to internally panic. 

Levi kept kissing down Eren's jaw line and Eren did his best to not react. Levi leaned into Eren's side a set his hand on his thigh. Eren jumped and grabbed Levi's hand, raising it up and pushing it away. He didn't want him to feel the excess fat, that was one of the places that had filled out the most. 

He locked eyes with Levi, panting. "I'm sorry." He whispered. 

The expression that Levi wore was one of shock and concern. He was worried that he had hurt Eren or that he was pressuring him. "No, it's fine. It's just... did I scare you? Are you hurt?"

"N-no. I just don't want to... to..." Eren searched for the right words, but they never came. He didn't want to upset Levi, but he also didn't want him to continue. 

"You don't want to do it?" Levi fortunately finished for him.

"Yeah, not tonight anyways." Eren lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry for freaking out."

"Oh no," Levi pushed some hair out of Eren's face. "You have nothing to be sorry for, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to. I don't want to pressure you." 

Eren's hand drifted back to Levi's to intertwine their fingers. "It didn't feel like you were pressuring me. Let's just watch the movie." He offered him a small smile to ease the tension.

Levi nodded, reciprocating the smile. "Okay. Sounds good to me." He gave Eren a quick kiss before settling back to his original spot.

The two continued to watch the film in silence. Levi would squeeze Eren's hand every so often for reassurance. Eren never voiced his thoughts, but he appreciated the gesture. He wanted to know that Levi wasn't upset with him. 

The film ended eventually and it was later than either of them thought it would be. So, they decided to retire for the night.

 

~

 

Levi was the first to settle into bed. Eren took his time in the bathroom once again, it became a routine for him. When he wasn't checking his weight, he was scrutinizing himself in the mirror. This time, he was observing how he looked and he almost wish he hadn't. His stomach became even pudgier, his thighs were definitely thicker and his face was undoubtedly rounder. He wanted to smash the mirror.

Instead, he covered himself up with his baggy clothes and shuffled back into the bedroom. Eren got under the covers and faced away from Levi. He was too ashamed to look him in the eyes. The heat was starting to get to be too much for him and he exhaled heavily, sweating profusely.

Levi looked upon him and felt horrible. Eren looked to be still upset over him trying to pull a move on him. Levi knew he had to do something to offer some sort of silent apology. Perhaps holding him innocently and securely would let him know that he was sorry and was willing to put his urges aside to make him happy. He wanted Eren to be comfortable and know that he was safe with him. 

Levi scooted up to Eren so that he was directly behind him. "Good night, sweetheart."

Eren hummed contentedly, almost dozing off. "Good night, Levi."

Now was Levi's chance to offer his comfort. He raised his arm over Eren to put it around his waist and hold him tightly. He would've succeeded too, if Eren hadn't put his movements to a halt by grabbing his hand just as he was about to set it down, pulling it off and away from his core. Levi stared. Had he really upset Eren that much? He didn't even turn around to look at him. Levi felt sick to his stomach, he was convinced that he pushed Eren too far and now he was facing the consequences. 

Levi drew his hand back, biting his lip and rolled back over to his side of the bed. He whispered under his breath, "I'm sorry, Eren." 

Those words killed Eren to hear. Levi hadn't done anything wrong and he was paying for nothing. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than for Levi to hold him, but he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't allow Levi to feel what was happening to him, what he was doing to himself. Those monstrous little voices came to haunt him once more.

'What did Levi ever do to you? How could you be so cruel to him?'

'Look what you did, you hurt his feelings. He's sad because of you.'

'You're repulsive.'

'He can't possibly want you anymore.'

'Why are you just laying there? Do something!'

'He obviously wants you to say you're sorry.'

'What are you waiting for? You know what he wants. You know how to fix this.'

'Please him. Make him happy.'

'Give him what he wants and he'll forgive you.'

'Just don't let him see how you look, don't let him touch you or you'll drive him away.'

He flipped over and poked Levi's shoulder. "L-Levi." He said in a shaky voice.

Levi turned over and looked at him with worried eyes. "What?"

Eren panicked. He never actually thought through what he'd do or say. "I'm s- I ... um... about earlier... I ..." Despite how hot he was, he started shaking in a cold sweat. 

"What is it?" Levi furrowed his brows and held Eren's hand, afraid that he was going to have an anxiety attack. 

"I- just..." Eren couldn't think of anything he could say to help the situation. He was too worried that anything he would say would only worsen things. 

"Is everything al-mm!" Levi was cut off when Eren was at a loss of what to do, so he grabbed the sides of Levi's face, bringing him in for a kiss. The only thing on Eren's mind was to make Levi happy again. He couldn't give himself to Levi, because he'd see what he'd done to himself, but he could still please him. Or at least try.

Eren moved his lips desperately against Levi's. Levi did what he could to get out of the other's grasp, he needed answers. After struggling against Eren's grip for a moment, he detached himself. "What are you doing?" He asked, short of breath.

"I'm doing what you wanted." Eren replied, bringing Levi back into another kiss. Levi froze in shock at Eren's actions. 

Eren moved his hand from the side of Levi's face, down his shoulders and over his abs. He lowered his hand even further, trying to slip it under Levi's waistband.

Levi took Eren's hand and brought it up, away from his pants and pulled away from him. "This isn't what I wanted!" He exclaimed in desperation.

Eren blinked a few times. "I-It's not?"

"No," Levi shook his head slightly. "It isn't. I don't want to force you into something you don't want to do. I'm not going to make you do something you're uncomfortable with."

"B-but ... but I'm okay with it. Really, I am!" Eren tried to convince him with pleading eyes. All he wanted was to make Levi feel good so Levi would be happy and so neither of them would feel guilty anymore.

"Really?" Levi wore a skeptical composure. "Let me ask you something. You seem so eager to get me off, but if I tried to do the same thing for you, would you let me?"

Eren shrunk into himself, avoiding eye contact. He knew his answer was 'no,' but he didn't want to say it or Levi would refuse him again. "... But I want to make you happy." He whispered, staring at the sheets.

"You make me happy just by being with me. It makes me even happier when you feel comfortable with me. I'm not going to sacrifice your comfort for temporary pleasure. I can tell you don't honestly feel up for this and that's okay. You're not obligated to do anything."

"But... but you wanted... earlier... you don't want to do it with me? At all?" Eren's eyes started to water. Was Levi really so disgusted with him? Had Eren been too late to remove his hands? Had he felt the weight that Eren gained and changed his mind?

"No." He pushed Eren's bangs back and kissed his forehead. "Not now, you're not okay with it, so I won't pressure you into anything. Let's just go to sleep, alright sweetheart?" 

Eren nodded and turned back over to his spot. He didn't want Levi to see the tears fall. He unwillingly pulled the heavy blanket over his body, still sweating madly. 

Levi pressed himself against Eren's back again and absentmindedly placed his hand over Eren's waist. Instead of strictly pushing him away, Eren took his arm and draped it over his shoulder. Levi couldn't possibly find extra weight there, especially with all the fabric laying over him. 

Realizing his error, Levi kissed the nape of Eren's neck and mumbled against his skin, "I'm sorry, baby."

"It's okay." Eren didn't even process what he had said. All that was on his mind was the fact that Levi didn't want him. His irrational thoughts took it out of context of course and soon his mind sounded like a courtroom reading off his crimes and consequences.

'He doesn't want you, he never did.'

'Won't even let you touch him, that's depressing.'

'You've destroyed your body and you're denying him his right as your boyfriend. You're so abusive.'

'He deserves so much better.'

'You have nothing to offer him anymore.'

'He knows what you did and right now, he's just pitying you.'

'Bet you twenty bucks he'll leave you tomorrow afternoon.'

'Bet you thirty he'll be gone by morning.'

'It's surprising that he stayed this long.'

'You're ugly and he doesn't love you.'

Eren wanted to start screaming. It was his natural reaction, but no such wails came out. But he did start crying uncontrollably. At this time Levi was fast asleep and Eren's shoulders were shaking. He bit down on his knuckles and bawled, letting a stream of tears flow down his face. His entire body would convulse every time he choked out a soundless sob. It was a shock that Levi never woke up.

He just wanted to stop being a burden, tell Levi he loved him and be everything Levi wanted and more. That's all he could ask for and he didn't believe he could accomplish any of it. 

Eventually, the crying seized, but Eren never fell asleep. He laid there awake the entire night, in Levi's arms, wishing for change.

 

~

 

When Eren felt Levi stirring, he closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. 

Levi looked at the alarm clock and saw that it was about to go off. He reached over Eren to turn it off, he never liked the noise it made and as long as he was already awake, he figured he wouldn't have to endure it. He relaxed back in his spot and gently shook Eren's shoulder.

"Eren, baby." He kissed the side of his face. "It's time to wake up." 

Eren turned over, opening his eyes to peer up at Levi. 

Levi smiled at him like he was the most precious thing in the world and kissed him softly on the lips. "Good morning, sweetheart." 

"Good morning." Eren weakly smiled up at Levi.

Levi lifted his hand to Eren's face and ran his thumb along his cheek, just below the eye. "You look tired. Your eyes are all red."

"Yeah... I'm tired." Exhausted was more like it. 

"Poor thing. Well, we have to get up some time." He gave Eren another kiss and turned over to get out of bed. "You can use the shower first, I'll get some coffee made." 

Eren waited until Levi had left the room to go into the bathroom. He turned the water on and stripped. He hated using up water so he got in and did his washing up as quickly as he could. 

He was finished in less than ten minutes. 'Not fast enough.' He thought. He got out, tying a towel around his waist, looking into the steamy mirror. He used a wash cloth to wipe away the condensed water. Eren was met with a sight that made him want to hide forever. He didn't recognize the person staring back at him. 

He huffed out a sigh and opened the door. As he pushed out the door, he saw Levi standing near the nightstand, grabbing his watch. Eren made an audible gasp, drawing Levi's attention. Just as Levi caught a sliver of skin, Eren shut the door.

Eren didn't know how much Levi had seen. He leaned on the door, panting, heart racing. 

Levi's chuckle resonated through the door. "Eren, we've seen each other naked before. It's okay."

"I-It's not that... I uh, forgot something." Eren pressed his ear up against the door waiting for a safe moment. 

About a minute later, he heard Levi's footsteps going out of the bedroom. He cracked open the door to confirm that he had left. When the coast was clear, he dove into their closet, picking out work clothes and a loose jacket.

 

~

 

Eren grabbed his keys and hopped into the kitchen to kiss Levi goodbye. "Gotta go. See you tonight." 

He turned to leave as Levi held onto his wrist. "Wait, aren't you going to take some coffee? You said you were tired this morning. And you have under-eye circles." He pushed a cup into Eren's hands. "Take it, I don't want you falling asleep at the wheel."

Eren couldn't exactly argue with any of that. He was lucky that he wasn't falling asleep while talking to Levi. "Thanks. I have to go now, see you in a while."

"You're welcome." Levi kissed Eren. "Have a good day at work."

"Thanks, you too." Eren took his cup of coffee and snuck into the bedroom before Levi noticed. He put a ten dollar bill in Levi's wallet so it would be more than enough to pay for another can of coffee grounds. 

He got into his car and downed half of the cup to perk himself up enough to drive. He took off heading to the fast food restaurant that he normally went to, buying himself a breakfast meal that he was absolutely sick of. With that being done, he headed off to work.

 

~

 

It was a slow day at the flower shop. It was around two in the afternoon and Eren and his mother had only had four customers since opening time. Every so often, Eren's eyes would flutter shut for a moment and he'd jump himself awake and look around to remember his environment.

"Tired, are you?" Carla asked, rearranging some boxes.

"Ugh, you have no idea." Eren mumbled, leaning on his elbow over the counter. 

She rounded the corner and stood by the cash register, next to where he was seated. "Did you have trouble sleeping?"

"I actually didn't sleep at all."

"Why is that?" She sat down.

Eren didn't want to talk about it, much less think about it. Levi's worried, confused face haunted him. "Don't know. Just didn't." He lied.

Carla nodded and hummed understandingly. "Yeah, that happens to me sometimes too." She stood up to go and retrieve some scissors from the back.

The bell to the door rang, calling the attention of Eren and Carla. "Welcome to Shiganshina Petals!" Carla beamed. "Do you need help finding something in particular?"

A young man and woman came in, not overly focused on searching for a specific flower. "No thank you," the woman said. "We're just browsing."

"Alright. Well, let me or him know if you need anything." Carla pointed at Eren then went to the back of the store again.

Eren sat up, pinching his skin, trying to do something to wake himself up. He briefly considered holding his breath, but then he thought that it would do the opposite of helping his situation. He laid his head down on the counter, deep in thought about ways to keep himself awake.

It wasn't exactly the best decision he made that day.

 

~

 

"Is he okay?" The man asked his girlfriend.

"I think he's just sleeping." She whispered, with her bouquet in hand.

The man glanced around. "Should we wake him up?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. What about that lady, where's she?"

"I think she left, I'm not sure." He said in a hushed tone.

Carla finally found the pair of scissors she was looking for. She triumphantly walked out from the back. "Eren you'd never guess where I found the-"

She paused, seeing Eren slumped against the counter and the couple regarding him with concerned expressions. 

"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!" She speed-walked over to the counter, restraining herself from sprinting. She wasn't a fool who'd just run with scissors. "Eren, wake up." She shook his shoulders.

He sprang awake, nearly falling out of his chair. He whipped his head around, trying to figure out where he was and what was happening. 

The couple blew out breaths that they were holding in. "Thank god, he's okay!" The woman put her hand over her chest.

"I am so sorry you had to wait," Carla started. "I can check you out if you're both ready."

The two went over to the cash register and payed for the bouquet. At that moment, Eren realized what had happened and he put his head in his hands. He was so embarrassed. Falling asleep in the presence of customers. That couldn't be great for business. 

"Thank you for shopping with us! Come again soon." Carla sent a friendly smile to the customers as they left.

Carla set a hand on Eren's shoulder. "I'll let you sleep in the back room."

"What? No. I'm fine, I can stay awake now."

"Ears, Eren." She pointed to his reddening ears. 

He sighed, slumping his shoulders. "Mom, I'll be okay. That was just a little slip up."

"Alright. If you say so." 

Eren began doing little activities to keep himself awake. He drummed a beat on the counter and when he got bored with that, he arranged some pencils in order from smallest to largest. After that, he'd arrange them in different patterns. When that became a bother, he took out his wallet and counted the money. This activity reminded him that he still owed his mother for his clothes. He counted again and saw that he had only enough to pay her back. 

"Hey, mom." He turned to look at her. "Here's the money I owe you." In a moment of forgetfulness, he stuck out his hand to give her the the last of bills.

"Oh, thank you Eren." She took the money and placed it in her pocket. "Did you get everything you needed?"

"Mhm." He nodded. 

"Good." 

 

~

 

Eren made it through the rest of the day only falling asleep one more time, but succeeded in waking up before his mom noticed. He hugged his mom goodbye and set off to go get 'dinner.'

He parked near the back of the restaurant and dug out his wallet. He opened it and saw that he only had two dollars left. He couldn't get anything with that. He flung his head back and groaned. His day off was the next day and he didn't get payed until the day after. There wasn't anything Eren could do, so he drove home on an empty stomach.

 

~

 

Because Eren didn't take the time to eat anything, he returned home before Levi did. The first thing he did was change into his loose sweat clothes. 

He fell on the couch, flinging an arm over his forehead. He was practically dying of heat and his stomach was growling uncomfortably. After a few minutes, the noise stopped but he was still starving and sweating horribly. 

Since he had nothing to do and he wouldn't take any of their food, he decided to go to sleep. 

His slumber was interrupted ten minutes in when he was woken up by the door opening. He resented himself for wishing that Levi hadn't come home so soon. 

Levi walked into the living room, stopping when he saw Eren laying on the couch. He broke out in a wide grin. "Look who's home early. What's going on?" He sauntered over to the couch, sitting by Eren.

"Um, my mom and I ate and closed up early." Eren said, taking his arm away from his face to look at Levi properly.

"So you had dinner already, huh?" Levi took Eren's hand in his.

Eren nodded. 

Levi furrowed his brows, examining Eren closely. He put a hand to Eren's forehead. He pulled it back and looked at it, then back at Eren. "You're sweating." Eren avoided his eyes. "And it feels like you have a fever."

"Well, I don't. I'm not sick, I feel fine." 

"You're sure you're not sick?" Levi raised a brow at him.

"Yes, I'm sure." Eren said confidently. He wasn't feeling healthy of course, but he knew he wasn't sick.

"Hmm." Levi tried wrapping his head around the situation. He knew what was wrong, but he couldn't understand why Eren kept putting himself through this. "You need to take these off." He tapped at Eren's sweatshirt and pants.

"But Levi... we've been over this. I don't want to do anything like-"

"That's not what I'm talking about." Levi interrupted. "I mean you should change into something lighter, you're burning up. And don't even try to tell me you're cold. It's eighty degrees outside, you're in heavy clothes and you're sweating." 

Eren turned his head away, shrinking into himself. "I don't want to." He whispered.

"Why not? This isn't good for you."

"I know what's good for me." Eren said sternly, face still angled away from Levi.

Levi felt a pang in his chest. Was Eren still mad at him for what he did the day prior? Why was he being so distant? "I never said you didn't." He murmured. He gave Eren a soft kiss to the temple as a silent apology for whatever it was that he did. "I'm going to make dinner. Do you want anything?"

"... No." Eren blinked away tears forming in his eyes. 

"Okay." Levi said in a voice that was barely audible. He brushed some hair out of Eren's face and left to start his dinner.

In Levi's absence, Eren bit his lip, willing himself to not cry. He told himself that he made Levi angry and that he didn't deserve his comfort. 

 

~

 

After Levi finished his dinner, he started cleaning up the living room, wiping down the coffee table, dusting the television amongst other things and washing the window. The entire time he cleaned, he kept sighing and pausing to rub his temples.

"Is everything okay?" Eren asked tentatively from his spot on the couch.

"Yeah, it's just that the house is such a mess. I haven't cleaned it in awhile and I don't feel like doing it now. But if I don't do it now, it'll never get done, you know?"

Eren nodded. "Do you want my help?"

"No. I guess I can put it off until tomorrow if I get Erwin to cover my end shift. Right now, I just want to go to bed." He faced Eren and crossed his arms. "And you need to get some rest, mister." He said in a playful tone. 

 

~

 

The next day, Levi reluctantly left to go to work, leaving Eren by himself. Eren only had about an hour of sleep before he woke up. He stayed up most of the night regretting the tone he used while speaking with Levi. 

There was no money to buy food and Eren didn't plan on using electricity to watch television. He didn't bother to change out of his heavy clothing as a form of self punishment. 

He walked out into the living room absolutely starving, overheated and completely exhausted. He looked around at his surroundings. Levi was right, the house was a mess. Nothing was cluttered or out of place, but things were filthy. 

Eren suddenly had an idea. 'Maybe if I clean the house so that it's spotless, Levi would be so grateful that he'd forget about the way I treated him.' He thought. 

So, he got to work. He vacuumed the living room and bedroom. Somewhere along the way, having to haul the vacuum to and fro, he felt a little overworked. He pushed on, entirely focused on pleasing Levi. 

He washed the dishes, wiping his brow every so often. Every time he considered taking a break and saving the rest for later, he remembered how happy Levi would be if he came home to a perfectly clean house. As he put a few dishes away, he stumbled over his feet, catching himself on the counter. He felt dizzy every time he turned around to pick up another dish, but he wasn't fazed. 

Eren went into the bathroom and washed the mirror, dusted around the sink and scrubbed down the shower. As he was completing the latter, his stomach screamed in pain. He paid it no mind, working through the discomfort. 

Eren knew that he couldn't keep working for much longer, so he tried to do one last thing before he'd take a break. He grabbed a broom and began sweeping in the kitchen. After a minute, he felt his eyelids shutting by themselves. He shook his head vigorously and raised his eyebrows to keep them open. Eren could smell the food in the cabinets and it was pure torture. The food was so close, but he wouldn't allow himself a single bite. He tugged at his collar, yanking it and using it to cool down. It didn't do much, but it was something.

Eventually, Eren reached a point where everything became too much for him to bare and he had to use the broom just to hold himself up to keep from collapsing. He needed sleep. He needed food. He needed cold air. Before he even realized what was happening, his vision was consumed with darkness.

 

~

 

Levi opened the front door, walking in with a spring in his step. After working for most of the day, he convinced Erwin to take up his last shift, promising to repay him another day. Now he could let loose. His hours had been cut short, he had plenty of time to finish cleaning and he could spend the rest of the night by Eren's side. Things were looking great. 

"Eren, I'm home!" He walked in taking a look at the state his house was in. He marveled at the clean living room. The floor was all nicely vacuumed and everything seemed to be in order. He smiled to himself. It occurred to him that he never got a reply. "Eren?"

'Maybe he's taking a nap.' He thought. Levi walked into the bedroom, noticing that it was also vacuumed and the bed was made, but Eren was nowhere to be found. 'Oh that's right, he goes out to eat when he stays home.'

He entered the bathroom to wash his hands before going out to make his dinner. He looked up and saw that the mirror had been cleaned. The sink and surrounding areas were spotless. Levi was very impressed. 

Levi walked out of the bathroom, whistling to himself. He rounded a corner and entered the kitchen. What he saw made his heart stop and his breath catch in his throat. 

Eren was laying on the ground, motionless and seemingly unconscious. 

"Eren!" Levi yelled, dashing over to Eren, falling to his knees. He grabbed at his sweatshirt, jostling him a bit by accident, which consequently made Eren jolt awake. 

Eren clutched at his chest, blinking and squinting his eyes, trying to adjust them to the light. He rubbed his face, not really aware of what was going on. "Mm? Levi?"

"Oh, thank god!" Levi brought Eren into a tight embrace, nearly knocking the air out of his lungs. "Eren, oh my god... Eren." He held him back, grasping at his shoulders, staring intently at him. It was almost as if he was trying to imprint his image in his memory forever. He sniffled, choking back a strangled cry. "I thought you were... I can't even say it. Eren, I was so scared. You have no idea. I called for you and you didn't answer and I saw you like that and I thought..." He cut himself off, bringing Eren back into his arms. Now that he knew that he was fine, he realized that he may have been overreacting, but the sight of Eren on the floor scared the hell out of him.

Eren barely comprehended what was going on. "Oh... Levi, I'm sorry." He said in a tired voice that sounded like he wasn't completely there. "I must've... fallen asleep... or something like that." He let his head fall on Levi's shoulder. "Just get me to bed and I'll go right to sleep... I'm so tired."

Levi shook his head. He didn't voice his thoughts, he wanted to tell him no because he was terrified that he wouldn't wake up again. He didn't know the severity of Eren's condition so he wasn't sure if that thought was rational or not. The brunet had been sick and acting so strange lately, he didn't know if he'd be okay or not. "I can't do that." He looked back at Eren, now holding him away so he could observe him. "My god..." Eren was covered in sweat. It was visible on every part of his skin that was showing and even gathered on parts of his sweatshirt. "You need to take all of that off right now."

For the first time, Levi said something that really gained Eren's attention. "No." He shook his head desperately. "I'm okay."

"Eren." Levi said in a firm yet shaky voice. "You're going to get heat stroke if you haven't already. I don't know what the problem is, but something worse is going to happen if you keep wearing all that heavy shit." He reached for Eren's sleeve, just as he pulled away, scooting in the opposite direction.

"Please don't. I just need a little sleep, I'm fine. I swear!" Eren dug his nails into the hems of his clothing, making a point to keep them where they were.

Levi inched closer. "Listen, I'm not going to touch you or do anything like that. I promise. But you have to understand that you're going to get hurt or sick or worse if you keep doing this to yourself. I'm trying to help you. If you won't let me do that, please help yourself and change into something cooler. Please. Will you do that?"

Eren thought it over for a minute and came to the conclusion that there was no way he'd let Levi know what had become of his body. Levi would leave, he just knew it. He closed his eyes and responded in a wobbly voice. "I can't ... I can't do it." He bit his lip and lowered his head.

Levi had no choice. Sure, Eren was going to be mad at him, but he'd rather have that than have Eren ill. He reached for Eren's sweatshirt and lightly tugged it upward. "You need to get out of this."

Eren pushed at his hand frantically. "Stop it! I need this on!" 

"I won't look either, if that's what you want." Levi turned his head away, enough to see what he was doing but not looking directly at Eren. He tugged more insistently. 

"I need this!" Eren pushed his sweatshirt down, desperate to keep it in place.

"Eren, I'm begging! Please, just do this for your sake!" He tugged slightly harder and unintentionally grazed Eren's stomach with his knuckle. This went unnoticed by Levi, but Eren felt like it had burned him.

He inhaled a sharp gasp, screwed his eyes shut, pulled his shirt down with one hand and unconsciously smacked Levi's face with the other. "Don't touch me there!" He screamed. 

Upon having Eren's hand make contact with his face, Levi's hands retreated away from his shirt. He slowly looked up at Eren with wide eyes. Eren looked positively horrified, panting heavily, clutching his shirt and sitting in a corner like a scared animal. Levi felt like a monster. He couldn't believe he had done this to him. His mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out.

It was then that Eren's resolve shattered and he covered his mouth with one hand, lowering his face into his knees and let heavy sobs freely escape. Within seconds, his face was drenched, his breathing was irregular and his body started to shake. "I-I-I'm sorry." He whined in between inhales, hiccups and sniffles. "I didn't m-mean t-to hit you."

Levi was at a loss of what to do. He wasn't sure what to say, he could upset him further. He was afraid to touch him out of fear that he'd scare Eren. Levi wasn't angry that Eren had slapped him, he was angry at himself for letting things get out of control. Mostly, he was upset that his precious boyfriend was hurting so much. "Eren...?" 

"I'm ... sorry, L-Levi." He sobbed. "I-I'm so sorry-" he broke off with a harsh cough. 

Levi's arms instinctively went out to hold him, but he stopped himself, remembering the situation. He hesitantly moved to sit next to Eren. "Can I hold you?" He whispered. 

Eren nodded and made the first move to close their distance, wrapping his arms around Levi's shoulders, allowing him to hug him back. "D-did I hurt you? I'm so s-sorry."

"Shh," Levi murmured, patting his back, rubbing circles into it. "You didn't hurt me. Don't be sorry. It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay."

"B-but I didn't mean it!" Eren choked out. "I-I'm sorry!" 

"I know you didn't mean it." Levi cooed in his ear. He started to gently rock him back and forth. "It's alright, baby. I'm sorry for everything. I just want you to be okay." He kissed Eren's head over and over again. 

 

~

 

Eventually, Eren calmed down enough to let Levi help him to bed. Levi tried to get Eren to change into something lighter but he still refused and Levi didn't want to push it. 

"Can I sleep on the couch tonight?" Eren asked.

Levi didn't like the idea of being separated from Eren for even one night, but he let him. He was ready to let him have anything. He was ready to give him the world, not that he hadn't always been. 

He fetched him a glass of water and got him to the couch, bringing a sheet rather than a blanket. Eren told him 'thank you' and Levi got up to get ready for bed, skipping dinner as he was not hungry anymore. Eren grabbed his wrist and Levi looked over his shoulder then faced him. Eren reached under his collar, bringing out the key necklace that Levi had given him for his birthday and placed it over his heart, setting Levi's hand on top of it. He looked up at him with apologetic eyes, hoping that Levi would get the message. Of course, he did. Levi reciprocated the hand gesture and kissed Eren tenderly and lovingly on the lips. "Good night, sweetheart."

"Good night." Eren said in a hoarse voice. 

Levi left his side reluctantly. He didn't go back in the kitchen to retrieve food, not just because he wasn't hungry, but also because it didn't seem right. Somehow, he knew that Eren was hungry and he didn't think it was fair. He never went into their bedroom either. He sat in the doorway to keep an eye on Eren and make sure that he was okay and didn't do anything harmful. That night was Levi's turn to go without food or sleep for his lover's sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor bb;-;
> 
> I don't know how many more chapters there are until things get better, but we're not there yet. So until then, hold onto your shorts. I hope you liked this chapter. If you did, please leave a comment or kudos! If there are any errors, I'm sorry. I didn't edit. If you'd like to check out my tumblr that has all my fics and art, it's dr-s--art. That's all for now. By the way, if you haven't already, I suggest that you check out my other fic that I'm working on. It's called Don't Let Your Guard Down. Thanks for reading!!!


	15. Be It Your Final Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi both reach their breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope no one's allergic to milk, vegan or lactose intolerant, because HERE COMES THE CHEESE. No but really, this chapter is so cheesy, I wrote this half asleep again.
> 
> I feel as if it's a little rushed and not as good as I had hoped, but in all honesty, I don't think there's much that I could've done personally to make it better.

Eren's days off were always the hardest when Levi didn't stay home with him. Eren didn't have work to distract himself, his mother wasn't there to comfort him, he was bored out of his mind and his mental state slowly descended. Levi was always reluctant to leave, he couldn't focus on anything, he feared for his boyfriend's well being and was desperate to get home.

This morning was exceedingly hard for Levi. Eren didn't budge to get out of bed. He barely even spoke a word. He just looked tired, drained and melancholy. It pained him so much to see him laying there with an expression that looked like he had completely given up on life. Levi honestly believed that his heart would crack open at the sight.

Halfway through his morning routine he stopped an kneeled down in front of Eren next to the bed. He brushed some hair out of his eyes and continued to pet his hair. "Eren, baby. Do you want me to make you anything to eat before I go? I have a bit of extra time on my hands."

Before Levi finished his second sentence, Eren had already started shaking his head subtly. "No, thank you." He stared into space, looking past Levi. 

Every denial, every protest and every lazy action cut Levi deeper than the last. "Okay." His voice started to shake, even though he willed it not to. "Is there anything you want me to get for you while I'm out today?"

"No." It would've stung less if he had said anything more. Anything at all. But he didn't.

"Alright. I'm gonna get ready now. If there's anything you need, just holler for me. Okay?" He gave Eren a timid smile.

"Okay." He and Eren both knew that no request would ever come. 

"Good. I'll be listening." He gave another cracking smile and kissed Eren's forehead. Levi stood up, watching Eren as he left the room. 

Levi got his coffee made, checked his text messages and gathered his keys. He was doing whatever he could to take his focus off of Eren, but doing that made him feel guilty because he knew he needed him. He finished his routine much too soon, but time had flown by simultaneously. He walked back in their bedroom and took back his spot where he had squated down before. He took in a deep breath. He had to be strong for Eren. "I have to leave now, sweetheart. Maybe I can get out early again. We could spend more time together doing whatever you want. Doesn't that sound nice?" 

"Yeah." Eren began playing with the sheets, unintentionally still avoiding Levi's eyes.

He couldn't leave him like this. "Eren, look at me." Levi said in a faltering voice.

The tremble in his words made Eren look at him with a worried expression. His brows furrowed. "Why?"

Levi forced his lips back into a smile. "I... I just wanted to see your beautiful face before I left." He used his knuckle to stroke Eren's cheek. 

Eren relaxed. He laid back down and almost looked hurt. He could tell Levi's words weren't why he had asked him to face him. He could see that Levi's smile was forced. He assumed it was because Levi didn't really think he was beautiful. "You're going to be late." The coldness in his voice sent tremors in Levi's heart.

"I don't care... I'll be home as soon as I can." He kissed his forehead once more, cupping his chin. "I hope you have a good day."

"You too."

Levi hoped that Eren didn't feel his lips tremble when he dove in for a kiss. Or two. Or five. He planted them on different spots on his face, trying to imbed his love into Eren. "I'll be back soon, baby."

With that being said, he left. When Eren heard the front door closing, he allowed himself to let the tears flow. Levi was hurting and it was all his fault. His chest ached like it was caving in and he choked out every sob that came.

 

~

 

Levi drove to work absolutely distraught. He couldn't believe he left Eren the way he did. He briefly considered pulling over several times out of fear that he'd break down in hysterics. Luckily, he kept himself together the entire drive. After awhile, Levi pondered over the situation, coming to terms with how things were. He let out a sigh, parking his car when he arrived at work. He became numb.

He walked into work and was instantly greeted by his enthusiastic friend.

"What's up, my favorite short stack?" Hanji hollered, walking over to him.

"Hi, Hanji." He said in a small voice, staring into the distance.

Hanji's smile disappeared and she regarded him with a fixed stare. He went over to lazily retrieve some cleaning supplies to mindlessly wipe down the already spotless tables. 

She silently stood behind him, waiting for some sort of reaction. "What did you say?"

"I said 'hi.'" Levi looked at her confused. That was what he said, wasn't it?

She furrowed her brows. "Is everything alright? You look sick." 

Levi swallowed thickly. "I'm fine." He never cried in the presence of his friends or at work and he wasn't going to start now.

Hanji searched for Erwin. She was at a loss of what to do, there was no way that Levi was 'fine.' She found him getting out the chalkboard from the back. "Erwin!" She hissed. "Something's wrong with Levi!"

Erwin turned to face her, bringing the chalkboard. "What's going on?"

She shook her head. "I don't know, but something's not right. Come on."

The two came back to see Levi sitting down at a table, washing the same spot over and over. The place was empty, they still had a half hour until opening time. Seeing him there alone, seeming so out of it only exaggerated his mindset. Erwin and Hanji slowly approached. 

"Hey Levi," Erwin started gently. "How are you?"

"Good, how are you?" Levi mumbled without picking his head up. 

Erwin and Hanji shared a knowing look. Erwin went to sit down across from Levi. "I'm good, uh, are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah." 

"Are you sure about that?" Erwin leaned in closer. 

Levi started to nod and then shook his head, lowering his gaze. 

Hanji squated down next to him, rubbing his shoulder. "What is it, Levi?"

Levi stood up, walking over to the counter to clean that off next. "I don't know, something's wrong with Eren, but I don't know what it is."

Hanji and Erwin hurried over to stand on either side of him. "What's going on with him?" Erwin prompted.

Levi shook his head, closing his eyes. "I have no idea. His hours at work got longer and he refuses to eat at home. He's been getting sick on a few occasions. He's been sitting alone in the dark every time I come home when he stays home. He never takes off this huge sweatshirt and sweatpants of his, so he's getting overheated. Half of the time, he sleeps on the couch instead of with me. And... about a week ago, I got home and... I found him lying on the floor. I thought something horrible happened but it seems like he just past out. When I tried to help him... he freaked out and screamed at me. He looked scared of me." Levi's breathing picked up. "Now he almost never lets me even touch him anymore and I don't know why. Oh god... It's my fault. I've been smothering him. I probably pressured him into something he wasn't ready for or he feels suffocated by me and I'm the one who's done this to him and oh my god, I'm gonna be sick." Levi rested his elbows on the table, covering his mouth and nose with his hands and screwing his eyes shut. 

Hanji and Erwin lost no time in trying to comfort their friend. Erwin rubbed circles on his back and Hanji patted his shoulder.

"Levi, listen." Erwin said. "Don't jump to conclusions and blame yourself."

"Have you asked him what going on?" Hanji asked.

"Every day." Levi said through his hands before he rested his forehead on the heels of his palms. "Every day when he gets home, he seems a little worse and I ask what's wrong and he always says he's okay, but guys, he's not." His lip started to tremble. "I just want him to be happy again."

"Levi?" Erwin said. "I'll cover for you. If you want to go home early today or even right now, I'll take your shifts."

"No," Levi sighed. "You don't have to."

"I know I don't have to, but if you need to leave, I'll be more than happy to."

"No, I just... I just need some time to breathe and think about everything."

Neither of his friends argued. While they were always ready to help, they knew that he often solved his problems on his own.

"If you need anything from us, let us know." Hanji told him.

 

~

 

Levi was put in charge of making drinks instead of taking orders. His mental state made him even less of a people person, so letting him handle customers wasn't the greatest idea. It was for the best, it happened to take his mind off of things when they got busy and it served as a distraction. Even though his thoughts were thoroughly occupied, he couldn't wait for his upcoming break. 

When Hanji told him it was his time for his break, he had no problem stopping his work immediately and sitting down at an empty table. He dug out his phone and called Eren as soon as he got the chance.

Eren picked up on the fourth ring. "Hello?"

"Eren, baby." Levi smiled to himself a bit. He loved to hear that voice. "I was just calling to ask how you're doing."

"Oh, I'm good. How's your day so far?"

Levi refused to tell him that he was a wreck. "It's fine. So, what are you doing today? Have anything special planned?"

There was a small pause. "Not really. I thought about cleaning."

"Don't you clean on your day off, I won't allow it." Levi teased. "You haven't painted anything in a long time. What about that? That would be fun."

"Yeah... I haven't felt... inspired in awhile." Eren and Levi both knew that the word he was looking for was 'motivated.'

"Oh. How about this, the next time we both have a day off, we'll do something fun. Just you and me, anything you want." Levi bit his lip, hoping that Eren would agree. He wanted Eren to be willing to do anything with him, he didn't care what it was. If Eren said he wanted to go to an amusement park, that would be fine. If he said he wanted to stay in bed and cuddle with Levi, that would be fine by him as well. Anything would work.

"Um, I don't know. Maybe. It depends on what it is, I guess."

"Anything you want. You name it and we'll do it." 

Eren's answer came very late. "I guess... Levi? I have something I need to do. I have to go."

"Okay." Levi gulped. "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, goodbye."

"Bye, sweetheart." Levi hung up with his heart aching. He weaved his hands through his hair, trying to figure out what exactly it was that he did to upset Eren. Eren's actions were so abrupt, he couldn't place a specific thing he had done to trigger him. He marched up back to the counter, gathering what little he brought with him. He waited until Erwin was no longer occupied to grab his attention. "I'll take you up on that offer."

 

~

 

Eren walked down the familiar corridor of his old apartment building, barely putting effort into searching for the right number. Once he found the correct room, he gave a firm knock to the door.

Moments later, his best friend Armin opened the door and greeted him with a bright smile. It faltered when he saw Eren's tears threatening to spill over. He ushered Eren inside, leading him to the couch. Armin offered to bring him ice cream to help with the pain, but instead brought a salad and a couple bananas at Eren's request.

"D-do you have anything light I c-could change into?" Eren asked, focusing on his healthy meal. 

Armin didn't ask questions, he just brought out a loose t-shirt and shorts. Eren changed in the bathroom and returned, eating his food. Armin waited in silence until Eren finished. 

It wasn't long until Eren was in tears on his friends shoulder.

 

~

 

Levi had an important stop to make before he came home. He parked his car outside of Shiganshina Petals and walked in the building with a bell announcing his arrival.

"Welcome to- Levi!" Eren's cheerful mother strode over to greet him with a hug. She patted him on the back.

"Hello, Carla. How are you?" He asked, accepting her embrace with a smile.

"I'm doing great." She stood back to speak with him properly. "And how are you?"

His smile faltered. "I've been better, to be honest."

Carla furrowed her brows, leading him to the counter so they can talk in a less open area. "What's wrong, dear?"

Levi sighed heavily. "Well... Eren and I haven't had much time together lately, with his later hours and all. I completely understand if this isn't doable, but I was wondering if you could switch his schedule to what it used to be?"

Carla regarded him skeptically. "Come again?"

"I want to know if he could have his old hours back."

Carla gave an unsure chuckle. "Um, Eren has had the same schedule since he got out of college. He hasn't switched them lately, if that's what you think."

That couldn't be right. "What do you mean?" Levi asked. "For a little over a month, he's been going to work early and coming home late. He told me it was because of a new schedule. He said he got here early and stayed late to eat with you."

The expression on Carla's face was now one of pure confusion. "Why would he say that?" She asked herself out loud. 

Levi started to sweat. "So... he hasn't been here earlier or later than usual?"

"No." Carla shook her head.

"Oh... thank you for the help, Carla." Levi gulped and turned around to leave. He now assumed the worst. 

"Uh, Levi? Is everything alright?" She called after him.

"Yes." He said in a trembling voice. "Everything's fine." 'How could I be so oblivious?' He thought.

 

~

 

Eren explained everything to Armin. As he cried his eyes out, he told him about the bills and money issues and how he stopped using water, electricity and ate out. He told him about the lies, how sick he became, the weight he gained, how he wore larger clothes to hide himself. He told him about how he never let Levi touch him, how he slept in another room, about the night when Levi found him. He told him every detail about how it all affected him and Levi.

"I-I'm just ... dreading the day that h-he realizes that he's sick of c-coming home to an emotional wr-wreck." Eren choked out as he sobbed. "He's going to l-leave me, I know it... I can't e-even answer a phone by myself." He ranted, expressing his fears and concerns. "... I could almost forgive everything I did... if I had t-told him how much... I love him... so he'd know that I'm not... trying to hurt him." He tried to find spaces in between his words to breathe.

"Why don't you tell him?" Armin inquired.

"I wish I could." Eren started wheezing for air. "I'm scared th-that I'll mess it up. I c-can't stutter. I can't do that ... when I tell him. Armin... it's so i-important that I say it right. It's a big ... deal to me."

Armin hated when Eren let his speech get in the way of him living his life, not that Eren could control it. But it saddened him nonetheless.

"I-It's not just that... what if y-years from now... if we got married... I don't know i-if  
I could say m-my vows. D-Do you know how awful it'd look.. if I stuttered saying 'I do?' I know it's s-stupid... but it scares me." He choked out more sobs, sniffling. Armin handed him a few tissues to blow his nose. "There's always g-going to be something... that I can't say."

The ringtone of Eren's cellphone interrupted him. Eren checked to see who it was and threw it at Armin.

"It's Levi. You answer!" 

"Wait- what would I say?" Armin panicked.

"J-just say... I'm asleep." Eren ran over to a different chair so Levi wouldn't hear his cries.

Armin rolled his eyes exasperatedly at the horrible lie and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Eren- uh, who is this?" He heard Levi ask.

"This is Armin." 

"Oh... um, where's Eren?" Armin could hear how nervous Levi was.

"He's here. He came over to hang out and he... fell asleep." He looked over at Eren, who was still trying to regain normal breathing. "He seemed really exhausted when he got here."

"Asleep...? Oh... tell him... tell him I'm waiting for him at home when he wakes up."

"I will."

"Thank you." Levi hung up immediately after his words. 

Armin looked at Eren. "He's home, waiting for you. He sounds a little upset."

Eren only cried harder, lowering his head. "Of c-course... I can't stop hurting him." He went back to the couch, sitting next to Armin. "What do I do?" 

Armin thought about it for a long while. He held Eren's shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "I know this will be hard, but it's necessary. You need to tell him everything you told me."

Eren shook his head frantically. "I-I can't! He'll hate m-me for lying... and I'm so ugly now... he'll leave, I-I know it!" 

"Eren, listen to me. He will not leave you. I'm sure of it. You're not ugly and nothing is going to get better if you hide how you're feeling. It'll get worse if you keep doing this. Things are as bad as they are because you're not discussing what's been on your mind. You both need to have a long conversation about everything. I understand that this will be really hard, but this is something worth doing." 

Eren nodded. "Okay... thank you so much." 

Armin brought him in for a hug. "If you need my help with anything else, just let me know." 

"I'm going t-to stay here... until I've stopped crying." He hiccuped.

"Stay as long as you need."

 

~

 

Eren took a deep breath before he entered their home, now changed back into his heavy clothing. He had stayed at Armin's house for a few hours to calm himself down and let Armin help him figure out what to say. It was now dark out.

He opened the door quietly and walked into the living room. His presence was unknown by Levi. Levi sat on the couch, haunched over with his face in his hands. It made Eren feel so guilty to see him that way.

Eren cleared his throat and Levi snapped his head up, startled. Eren could see that his boyfriend's eyes were an irritated red and glistening. Levi stood up and walked over to Eren, cupping his cheeks.

Levi studied him. "Baby, have you been crying?"

"I think I should be asking you that."

Levi gulped while nodding. He knew he probably wasn't in the most attractive state. "I need to talk to you about something. Let's go to our room."

Eren didn't argue and walked with him. His stomach turned when Levi said 'our.' It didn't feel like it belonged to both of them anymore. 

They sat down on the bed and Levi took Eren's hands in his. At first he couldn't bring himself to look at the other. "I talked with your mother today." Eren stilled at his words. "She told me that she never changed your schedule. I don't know what the hell is going on anymore. I can't think of any logical explanation for any of this. And I called you and your friend picked up. You're never home, I never know where you are." He finally faced Eren. "I could only come up with one answer and I don't want to believe it, but you have to promise to be honest with me." He waited until Eren nodded to continue. "I just want the truth. Eren... are you cheating on me?"

Eren's eyes widened in horror. "No! My god, Levi- I would never-"

"You can tell me if you are, I won't be mad." Eren's jaw dropped. He couldn't believe what Levi was saying. The man was just so desperate. "Just let me know what I did. Am I not enough for you? Am I too smothering? Did I do something wrong?"

Eren shook his head and waved his arms, trying to think of what to say.

"Eren, please! What did I do? I can fix this, but please tell me what I've done."

"Levi!" Eren raised his voice. "I'm not cheating on you. I never did and I never will, I give you my word."

Levi looked like he was about to lose any shred of sanity he had left. His eyes prickled with tears. "Then what's happening?"

Eren bit his lip. "I have a lot of explaining to do. And a lot of apologies to make." He looked down at his lap. "It started when the bills and groceries went up. You looked so frustrated. I knew I was the cause, so I stopped using the electricity as much as I could. I lied to you..." He tried to blink some tears away. "I said my hours got longer so I could leave to get myself my own food so you wouldn't have to pay for more." He shifted his eyes upward.

The look Levi gave him absolutely broke his heart. He had no other choice but to look away.

"I could only afford horrible fast food... so I started gaining w-weight..." His voice started to break and his eyes flooded over. "I didn't want you to see... or feel. Levi, I'm hideous like this. Even now... I don't think I-I could show you. It's disgusting." 

Levi quickly wiped away the tears that were now flowing freely down Eren's face. 

"I-I'm sorry, Levi... I didn't mean t-to hurt you. I'm so sorry." He buried his face in the crook of Levi's neck and Levi held him so tightly.

Levi fought to keep himself from crying along with his boyfriend, he had to. "I can't believe it. I can't believe I let this happen." He angled his face into Eren's hair, and tightened his grip. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I'm sorry."

"N-no." Eren shook his head, grabbing onto Levi's shirt. "It's m-my fault. I'm so sorry." He started to cry harder.

"None of this is your fault. Eren, I'm always annoyed when I have to do the bills or work out grocery budgets, it doesn't matter how good or bad they are. Don't ever go hungry again. Don't ever do that to yourself again. You didn't even affect the bills that much, I'm not in financial trouble because of you." 

Eren had a small coughing fit before he repeated 'I'm sorry' umpteen times.

"It's okay, baby." Levi kissed the side of Eren's head. "It's okay." He threaded his fingers through his hair. "Eren... I'm not going to be disgusted by your weight. Honey, you're so beautiful, you could weigh two hundred pounds more and I'd still see you as the most gorgeous person in the world. I don't care if you gained a little weight, but I want you to eat what you want, not this shitty food that's making you sick." He stroked Eren's hair and gently swayed back and forth. "Will you let me make you food now?"

"Y-yes." Eren shook in his arms.

"And will you wear comfortable clothes?"

Eren sniffled. "Yes." He whined.

"... Can I hold you again?"

"Mhm." Eren made his answers curt, so he didn't upset his dry throat. "'M sorry."

"Don't be." Levi shushed him with kisses to his temple. "Everything's going to be alright. I promise."

Eren didn't know what to do. He had put his boyfriend through hell and he was so forgiving and he treated him so perfectly. He had only one thing to say but he wasn't confident in his abilities to get it out. For now, he focused on maintaining a level voice. He took deep breaths and thought about the positive. He thought about how things could only get better from there.

Soon, he stopped tremors long enough to focus on what had to be said. "Levi...?"

"What is it?" Levi whispered.

"There's something I've wanted to tell you... for a really long time. But I don't know if I can say it."

"Then just show me."

"No." Eren leaned back to look at Levi. "I've been showing you for so long and that's not enough for me. I don't know whether or not it is for you, but not for me. You deserve to hear it."

Levi payed close attention, waiting for him to continue. 

"I..." One more deep breath with his eyes closed. Eren visualized the words in his head. He pictured every moment that made him want to say it. Whether it was a huge milestone in their relationship or a simple little gesture that Levi did. He felt the words and knew that they were true. "I love you."

When he opened his eyes, it dawned on him that he had said them out loud. The expression that Levi wore said enough. He held the sides of Eren's face and closed their distance, kissing him passionately. Eren had to make up for lost time and say it again. "I love you." He said against Levi's lips, which only made Levi hold him closer. They parted for air for a brief moment and Eren went for thirds. "I love you, Levi." 

All the adoration in Levi's eyes was worth the wait. He rested his forehead on Eren's. "I love you too, Eren. I love you so much." He gave Eren another quick kiss. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to say that."

Eren chortled weakly. "I know it's not a competition, but I can almost guarantee you, I've been waiting longer."

Levi laughed at his comment. "Come on. Let's get you something to eat and into some lighter clothes."

It was going to be awhile before everything could be considered normal again, but they were willing to make the effort. They both may still have been a little broken, but this was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter or the one after this will be the last chapter, I haven't decided yet. Sorry to just spring that on everyone, but yeah. Anyways, I hope you all liked this chapter, even though it was created while I was overly drowsy. Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated! Sorry for any errors, I didn't edit. My tumblr is dr-s--art. Thanks for reading!!! <3


	16. ... Just Say Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though they've been through so much, their life together is only beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give you... the last chapter.

A month had passed since the two had confessed. Eren struggled to accept the food Levi bought, he would always need to be convinced to take it, but he hadn't refused in quite some time. He switched back his diet to healthier foods and refrained from eating anything that would upset his stomach. Whenever Eren hesitated to take food, but ate it anyways, Levi would reward with compliments on how he looked and cuddled up to him. He wanted him to know that there was no need to feel guilty for getting what he needed. 

Eren returned to wearing his usual clothing but he still felt self conscious about his appearance. He was losing the weight he gained little by little, though it didn't do much to help him see his beauty. Levi was great at reassuring him on a daily basis. Every morning when Eren brushed his teeth in front of the mirror and started frowning at himself, Levi would wrap his arms around his waist, setting his head on Eren's shoulder and looking at him through the mirror. He'd smile and say things like "I'm so lucky to have such a handsome boyfriend," and "well, don't you look awfully cute today?" This never failed to make Eren squirm and blush. 

Now that the two had finally told each other about their feelings, their words of love and adoration never stopped being said. Those three special words would always be the first thing Eren said when he woke up in Levi's arms and the last thing he said when he returned to them at night. Levi would say them during little private moments throughout the day whenever his love for the brunet was the only thing occupying his mind. 

They both knew that getting everything back to normal wasn't going to be an overnight job and the road ahead wasn't going to be smooth, but they had each other. That was all they needed to keep going and try to fix things. 

 

~

 

Eren had eventually been able to keep down sweets, which was why Levi was now hand feeding Eren some small cookies while he sat on Levi's lap in the living room. They had been watching another film together. Technically, that's what their whole day consisted of, as it was their day off. After every bite, Levi would kiss Eren's cheek and Eren would smile brightly and tuck in his chin. Oh, how Levi missed that smile.

"Another?" Levi offered, rubbing circles into Eren's hip.

Eren shook his head. "No thank you. I don't want any more." 

Levi grinned and gave him a lingering kiss. The taller man gladly accepted and returned the kiss. When they parted, Levi couldn't help but stare into Eren's eyes. As time went by, it became harder and harder to refrain from getting lost in them. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart." He whispered.

Eren's face heated up at the compliment. He giggled uncomfortably and shook his head. "No, I'm really not." He tried to play it off as if he was too flattered or modest to accept it.

"But you are!" Levi protested and nuzzled Eren's neck. "You're the most beautiful person in the world."

"No... I'm not." Eren said less playfully. 

Levi regarded him with a sad face. "Eren, why would you say that? You're absolutely gorgeous. Do you know how much it hurts me to hear you say things like that? Why don't you think you're beautiful?" He raised his hand to cup Eren's cheek.

"Well..." Eren thought it over for a minute. He could think of an infinite amount of reasons as to why he wasn't beautiful. "I'm just not. My face isn't overly attractive. My hair is always a mess... and I still haven't lost the weight I gained." He mumbled the last part.

Levi gasped silently. He then furrowed his brows and shook his head. "No. I won't have you believing such horrible things." He kissed his cheek a few times. "Your face is so pretty. Your eyes are so big and lovely. You have these wonderful, soft lips." Levi punctuated his statement by running his thump over his lips. "Your hair may be messy, but that's not a bad thing. It's so soft." He ran his fingers through Eren's hair, proving his point and making Eren shudder. "And stop worrying about your weight, because you're perfect no matter what. So what if you have a couple extra pounds on you? That just means there's more of you to love." He kissed the juncture between Eren's neck and shoulder. "Plus I think a bit of chub is adorable." He smirked.

Eren shrunk into himself. "Well... there's still always going to be someone who looks better than m-"

Levi grabbed his face, squishing his cheeks, causing his lips to pucker. "Not possible. There may be other people in the world who are attractive, but no one could be better than you. You're the only one for me." He released Eren's face and started petting his hair. Eren bit his lip and Levi thought he saw his eyes start to water. "Is everything alright?"

Eren blew out a long breath, trying to stabilize himself. "It's nothing, it's just... why are you so good to me?"

Levi held him closer and leaned his head on Eren's shoulder. "Because I love you. And because I want nothing more than for you to be happy." 

Eren shook his head lightly. "But what about you? You need to be happy too. I want you to worry about yourself too."

"You're all I need to be happy. Your happiness is my happiness." Levi kissed Eren's jaw. After that, the two settled into a comfortable silence. 

These kind of nights were Eren's favorite. No words were really needed to be spoken, he was close to Levi and he didn't have anything to worry about. He had Levi pampering him and treating him like a king, though he didn't know what good deed he had done to deserve it. Eren couldn't be happier. The man of his dreams was practically worshipping him. What more could he ask for?

 

~

 

Later that week, Eren and Levi went grocery shopping together. Levi stopped every so often to ask Eren his preferences for meals. Whenever there was something on a high shelf, Eren saved Levi the trouble of grabbing whatever it was that they needed and kissed the top of Levi's head to make him feel better for not being able to reach. Occasionally, when Eren couldn't stop staring at a specific item that he wanted, Levi would wordlessly put it in the cart. Eren protested when he did this, saying that it wasn't necessary, but Levi just left it there and smirked.

They made their way to the registers to check out and they occupied themselves in idle chitchat. Eren was rambling on about how he wanted Levi to teach him to make a pound cake, when he looked to his side and realized that Levi wasn't there any more. He turned around and saw that Levi was stopped at a shelf and was looking at its contents pensively. "Levi?" 

Levi glanced between him and the shelf, taking a step forward, then moving back. He seemed to be unable to make up his mind over something. 

Eren walked over to where he stood, curious about what he was looking at. He took one look at the shelf and looked away, making an audible gasp. He could feel his face burning. 

Levi knew that Eren was most likely dying of embarrassment at the moment, so he dropped down his voice. "I don't have any condoms at home, should I get some?"

Eren glanced around, noticing several people within their vicinity, but none were paying them any mind. "Uh... th-that's your call." He looked down and started fiddling with his hands.

"No, it's really your call." Levi said. He took one of Eren's hands in his. "Would you like to... in the near future?"

The brunet took another look around, nearly whimpering with nervousness. He avoided Levi's gaze and nodded meekly. Levi smiled, planting a kiss on Eren's cheek and taking a box from the shelf. Eren tugged on his arm as soon as the box was put in the cart, ushering him past the display. Levi also grabbed some lubricants as they walked by hastily. 

They made it to check out, placing everything on the counter to be scanned. Eren wouldn't touch the condoms or lube with a ten foot pole. So, when Levi put them on the counter, Eren turned away and shielded his eyes, feeling his face reddening even more than it already was. The cashier didn't even bat an eye, scanning them just as casually as they had with the other items. Levi payed for their groceries with his credit card and the two left.

In the car, Levi put one of his hands over Eren's and stroked his thumb along his knuckles apologetically. "Sorry if that was embarrassing for you. I just wanted to make sure."

"It's okay." Eren smiled at him. His cheeks were still a little flushed from before, but for a different reason. He was absolutely smitten with Levi. He always made sure Eren was consenting and he never stopped giving little gestures of reassurance. Levi's gentle hand was enough to put him at ease. 

 

~

 

Eren hopped out of the shower, trying to dry every inch of himself thoroughly before he put on fresh pajamas, which were a loose, gray tank top and long black pants, also leaving on his key necklace. He turned on the blow dryer and did what he could to fix his hair. He spent several minutes trying to figure out which style Levi would prefer. He combed it, flattening it as much as he could, then he decided it was too flat and looked odd. He shook out his locks and ruffled them up, but it looked too wild and almost like he never bothered to take care of his hair. Eren held back his bangs, but that looked like he was trying too hard. It looked too fancy for bed. He settled for combing through it again, but he made sure it wasn't nearly as flat as before. 

He then brushed his teeth twice and used some mouthwash, having his eyes water as a result of the overpowering mint. Eren washed his hands, even though he didn't need to, having just been in the shower. He couldn't help it. He wanted everything to be perfect. 

Right before he was about to exit the bathroom, he spritzed himself lightly with a vanilla body spray. 'That should be enough.' He thought to himself. 

As he got into bed, he started to second guess everything.

'What if Levi's too tired to do anything?'

'Did I put on too much body spray?'

'I should've picked out more appealing clothes.'

'Did I pick a bad night?'

'I feel ridiculous, I still haven't lost every bit of that weight. Maybe I should rethink this.'

'Will Levi think the mint is too much? Hell, even I think it's too much.'

'I should've put moisturizer on my hands.'

'What if I'm no good at this? What if Levi doesn't enjoy it?'

'I should've practiced seductive faces in the mirror.'

'No, I shouldn't have. I can't be sexy. I'd look dumb.'

'Even so, I don't want to look like an idiot in front of him.'

'God, what do I do?'

Just then, Levi opened the bedroom door, wearing only an undershirt and boxers and carrying a plastic bag. He stopped midway and smiled adoringly at Eren. "Hey, beautiful." That made Eren's heart flutter and he returned the smile. Levi took the condoms and lube out of the bag and set them in the drawer. He also took some clothes hangers out and hung them up in the closet. Levi then disposed of the bag, took off his watch and laid down in bed next to Eren. 

Eren's heart started thrumming and he cuddled up next to Levi, placing his hand on his chest. Levi held Eren close by putting one arm around his shoulders and the other by his waist. 

"Good night, baby." Levi hummed, closing his eyes.

Now was Eren's chance. "U-um... Levi?"

"Yeah?" Levi opened his eyes.

Eren reminded himself to be confident, so he could allure Levi. "A-aren't you forgetting something?" He willed himself to hold Levi's gaze and started batting his eyelashes. 

Levi cocked a brow at him before he started nodding knowingly. "Right. Yeah, sorry." He hoisted himself up, balancing himself over Eren on both arms. Eren waited for Levi to lower himself, but was then utterly disappointed when Levi reached over and turned off the lamp on Eren's bedside table.

Levi settled back down and nuzzled Eren's head. "Good night." He smiled.

"Levi." Eren practically whined. "That's not what I was talking about."

"Oh, I'm sorry. What is it?" Levi asked.

"You don't remember?" Eren gave him sad puppy dog eyes. Did Levi change his mind? Did he not actually want Eren? Whatever the issue was, Eren was becoming borderline childish with impatience. "We were going to... you know." He still wasn't able to say it. He knew if he did, he'd get more than flustered.

Levi looked confused. "No? I'm afraid I don't."

Eren pouted and furrowed his brows. "You know!" He said in a hushed voice. "We talked about it."

"Talked about what?" Levi seemed as clueless as ever.

Eren nudged Levi with his nose. "The thing." 

Levi was taking too much pleasure out of Eren's frustration. He looked so cute pouting and hoping that he would understand. "What thing?" 

"The thing!" Eren gently tugged on his arm. He gave up on being seductive. "You asked me about it earlier and I said I wanted to. Remember?"

Levi tried his hardest to recall a conversation where he asked what Eren wanted and Eren responded affirmatively. "You want me to teach you how to make a pound cake? Right now? Eren sweetie, I think it's a little late for-"

"No!" Eren whispered exasperatedly. 

Levi resisted laughing at how cute his boyfriend was being. "Baby, just tell me."

Eren's eyes darted around the room. He pushed his face into the pillow and muttered his reply.

"Huh?" Levi chuckled. "No one else is going to hear you sweetheart, it's just us. You don't have to whisper."

"This is hard for me, okay?" Eren said defensively into the pillow.

That only made Levi laugh more. "It's okay, take your time." He kissed the top of Eren's head a few times and waited for him to resurface. 

Eren poked his eyes above the pillow, allowing Levi to see the redness that beautifully stained the top of his cheeks and nose. He took a deep breath and rushed out his words. "Yousaidwe'dhavesex." 

Levi's eyebrows raised slightly, his lips widened into a small smile and he replied with a breathy "Oh." He cradled Eren's face in his hands and kissed his forehead. "That's right, I need to take care of you. Would you like me to do that tonight?" He said an octave lower than he'd been speaking earlier, causing Eren to shiver.

"Mhm... please?" 

How could he refuse that precious face? "Of course, baby."

Eren smiled up at him. Then all of the sudden, he assessed the possibilities he thought of before. "I-I mean... only if you want to. I understand if you're too tired, o-or if this isn't a good night and you want to wait or if-"

"Shh." Levi placed his index finger on Eren's lips. "I'm okay with it as long as you are. So, are you sure you want to do this?"

Eren nodded without hesitation. "Positive."

"Alright. I ask because I want you to be completely comfortable. You have to be honest with me, okay?" Another nod from Eren. "Remember our rules. If I'm doing something you don't like, tell me, so I don't continue. If, for whatever reason, even if it's no reason at all, if you want to stop, let me know. Just say stop and I'll stop. Now..." Levi lightly pushed Eren's shoulder so that he was laying down flat on his back. Levi hovered over him and leaned down to his ear. "Do you remember our last rule?" He could hear Eren gulp and start panting. "In case you forgot, it's to tell me if you really like what I'm doing or if you want more." He darted his tongue out to flick the shell of Eren's ear. 

Eren breathed out a soft moan. Levi laid himself down on top of Eren, nibbling on his ear, causing Eren to squirm. When he was done with the ear, Levi kissed a path on Eren's red visage and connected their lips at the end. The anticipation was killing Eren. 

Levi moved his lips rhythmically against Eren's. After a moment, he gently tugged on Eren's bottom lip with his teeth, asking for permission. Eren opened his mouth gladly, granting him entrance. Levi's tongue found its way past his lover's teeth and entangled itself with the other's tongue. Eren angled his head to make more room for Levi and moaned into his mouth. Levi's tongue was working wonders and Eren became pliant and limp beneath him, letting Levi do whatever he pleased. 

Levi let his hands roam over Eren's shoulders and descend down his chest while they kissed. Eren reveled in Levi's touch, wanting to prolong it as much as he could. It was all going perfectly well until Levi's hands dropped to his stomach. 

Eren broke the kiss and grabbed Levi's hands. Levi sat back, alarmed. "What is it?"

Eren laughed nervously and gave Levi a sheepish smile. "I-it's nothing... it's just my stomach."

"Does it hurt?" Levi brushed Eren's bangs aside and tucked them behind his ear. Eren adored that sweet action he always did. Levi would be the death of him, for sure.

"No... but I haven't... lost those last few pounds." Eren averted his gaze.

"Eren." Levi clicked his tongue and looked down at him sadly. "I've told you, you're absolutely stunning no matter what your size is." He stroked the side of the younger man's face. "I love every inch of you." He proved his point by crawling back, so that his face was above Eren's abdomens.

Levi slowly lifted up Eren's shirt and started placing gentle kisses all over his stomach. If it was at all possible, Eren's face reddened even more. Levi's hands rested on Eren's sides, rubbing circles into them. "Baby, your skin is so soft..." He continued giving a few more pecks and laid his head down on Eren. "I love this cute belly of yours. I would be happy even if you left it just like this." Levi closed his eyes and hummed contentedly, still rubbing circles into the skin. "You're so perfect." 

Eren gasped. Levi couldn't have been more loving towards him and it made him want to cry tears of joy. 

Levi lifted himself up. "Are you okay to continue?" 

"Yes." Eren said. 

"Then let's finish what we started." Levi helped him sit up so he could now fully remove his shirt, but leaving his necklace untouched. Levi looked at his revealed body stared at him like he was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen. Needless to say, it did a lot for Eren's confidence. 

Levi then removed his own shirt. Eren couldn't help but stare at Levi's body. His skin was as pale as the moon and Eren never really got over how well built he was. 

Levi took Eren back in his arms, kissing him once more. Eren slid his arms over Levi's shoulders and around his neck, melting in his embrace. Levi laid him back down as gently as he could and moved his hands down to Eren's hips. He stuck his thumbs under his waistbands and started tugging. Eren lifted himself off the bed to aid with the removal process. Once his pants and boxers were off, Levi set them down on the floor and worked on freeing himself from his own constraints. While he was busy with that, Eren noticed how embarrassingly hard he was and folded his legs to hide himself. 

Levi tossed aside the last of his clothes. Eren caught the sight of Levi's erection and swallowed thickly. He forgot how big he was and now he felt a little apprehensive, knowing that Levi would be inside him momentarily. 

Levi noticed Eren's nerves and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Are you okay?"

Eren gripped the sheets beneath him. "Mhm." A bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face and he feared that Levi had noticed.

"Babe, you're shaking." Levi cupped Eren's chin. "Should we stop?"

"No." Eren replied hastily. "I want this..." He gulped. "I'm just nervous."

"We can do this another time if you're not ready." Levi assured him.

"No, I want to do this tonight. Th-there's just a lot of things on my mind... I've never done this before and I'm a little scared." 

Levi kissed his temple a couple times and grabbed one of his hands, entwining their fingers. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Eren didn't reply for a long time. He wanted to think over his answer so that it was just right. What surprised him, (but shouldn't have) was that Levi never rushed him to answer. He just leaned there, watching him and squeezing his hand every so often, waiting. His patience was one of the things that made Eren fall for him in the first place. He'd been patient with Eren since they met. 

Eren exhaled heavily. "I just... don't know if this'll hurt. I'm not sure what to expect." Levi moved his hand to hold the side of Eren's face and stroke his cheek while he listened. Eren locked eyes with him as he continued. "Mostly, I'm... scared that you won't like it. I don't think I'll be any good. I want to be enough for you."

Levi gave him a lingering kiss before he spoke. "Well, it might hurt a little at the beginning, but it'll feel better after a bit. Plus, I'm going to prepare you, so it won't hurt nearly as much. And don't you worry about me. I'll enjoy it just because it's with you. Don't concern yourself with whether or not you'll be any good, just relax. It's just me. I'll take good care of you, I promise." He gave Eren another kiss, but stayed close to him when they parted. "You've always been more than enough for me. Always." 

Eren didn't know how to respond. Levi always knew exactly what to say.

"Do you still want to do this?"

Eren nodded. 

Levi kissed his forehead and searched through the drawer to find the lube and condoms that he had just placed in there. He set the box on the table and took the lube, settling back between Eren's legs. He laid his hand on Eren's thigh and rubbed soothing circles into it. "We'll take this real slow, okay? This part is going to feel kinda weird, so don't be afraid to speak up if there's something you want me to know." 

Eren nodded and braced himself by grabbing the sheets again. Levi coated three of his fingers and then placed his other hand by Eren's head, so he could be near him and comfort him if need be. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." Eren adjusted himself on the bed, looking up to Levi, signaling that he could start.

Levi teased Eren's entrance with his index finger, which made Eren stiffen. Levi noticed him getting tense and whispered in his ear. "It's okay sweetie, I got you. I'm going to make you feel so good tonight." Eren visibly loosened up at his words, breathing out a relieved sigh. Levi gently pushed in an inch of his finger, observing Eren's reaction.

The brunet made an uncomfortable noise and the back of his throat and furrowed his brows. He definitely wasn't in pain, but this felt... odd and foreign. 

"Everything okay?" Levi asked, moving his finger in at a snails pace.

"Yeah," Eren breathed out.

"Good." Levi started kissing and sucking Eren's neck, beneath his ear as a distraction while he stretched him. Eren let out small moans at this. Once Levi had his finger in up to the knuckle, he grazed the entrance with his middle finger. The brunet showed no signs of protest, so Levi made room and pushed his second finger, feeling around his inner walls and moving them at a steady rhythm. 

"Mm..." Eren hummed happily at the sensation of being filled further. 

"You're doing so good, baby." Levi said, looking over the marks he had left with a smirk. He regarded Eren's face and the rest of his body and saw that he had gone completely red. He loved how he was a full body blusher. "You're so beautiful like this." Levi murmured. "How are you feeling?"

"M' feeling good." Eren replied, letting his eyes fall closed. Levi's distraction had been working.

"Do you think you handle another one?" 

"'Think so."

The last finger was added and Eren groaned in pleasure. Levi stretched him as best as he could without rushing or hurting him. He started pumping them in and out and separated them. He then began looking around, prodding different places and curling his fingers in a 'come hither' motion. 

Just when Eren was about to ask what he was doing, Levi stroked a bundle of nerves, making Eren arch his back off the bed and cry out. "Ah, Levi!" 

"There it is." Levi smiled smugly to himself.

"Oh... Oh my god..." Eren panted. "Do that again." Levi complied and Eren let out a long, pleased moan, then bit his hand to block out his noises.

"Tsk, tsk." Levi teased. "Don't do that, baby. I can't hear you. I wanna hear those beautiful sounds you were just making." He gently bit Eren's collar bone and stroked his prostate for a third time, making him remove his hand.

"Mn- fuck! L-Levi..." Eren squirmed beneath his boyfriend. The sensations were too much, he needed friction, he needed release. He bucked his hips in the air, searching for something, anything. 

Levi withdrew his fingers from him and chortled at Eren's whimper. Eren looked absolutely crestfallen at the loss of Levi's fingers, but that feeling wouldn't stick around for long. "Do you think you're ready for more?"

Eren nodded enthusiastically, causing Levi to try suppressing a laugh. "So eager." Levi mused, sitting back and grabbing the box of condoms. He took one out of it's foil package and slid it on. Eren bit his lip watching the whole process. 

Levi poured out a generous amount of lube and coated his erection with it. He lined up at Eren's entrance. "Are you ready?" He asked, peering at him through his eyelashes. 

"Yes, please hurry." Eren begged, rutting down.

"I didn't expect you to be this impatient." Levi said, smiling. He took Eren's hand in his again and leaned back down, inches away from his face. "But, I'll do as you ask." He connected their lips in a slow, loving kiss. Levi slowly pushed in and felt Eren's lips twitch and his body jolt. He broke the kiss, remembering that Eren would need a few moments to breath. Levi groaned, loving the feeling of being inside Eren.

Eren was fine for a few more seconds until Levi was halfway in, then he clutched the sheets and Levi's hand so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "L-Levi, stop." He panted.

Levi halted his movements and breathed raggedly, matching Eren. "Do you need me to pull out?"

"No." Eren shook his head with his eyes screwed shut. "I ... I just n-need a minute."

"Okay," Levi breathed out. "Take your time." He rested his head next to Eren's, waiting for his okay. Levi let him squeeze his hand as hard as he needed. He'd let Eren do anything he wanted.

After a while, Eren loosened both of his grips and exhaled sharply through his mouth. He swallowed and nodded, opening his eyes. ""Alright, I'm okay now."

Levi pushed in just as slow as before and started nipping at Eren's neck again. Eren hummed happily until Levi was completely sheathed. He waited for a minute before asking, "Are you okay with me moving?"

"Mhm." 

Levi experimentally rolled his hips and they both lost any shred of self restraint they had left. Eren's mouth dropped in a silent scream and Levi almost collapsed. Levi started a slow rhythm, latching onto Eren's shoulder with his mouth. 

Eren raised his legs and wrapped them around Levi's waist to keep him close. He took his hand that was clutching the sheet and brought it up to hold onto Levi's back. 

"Fuck, Eren... you feel so good, sweetheart." Levi went deeper and deeper with each thrust. Eren felt so tight around him and he never wanted this to end. 

"God... Levi," Eren whimpered. His hair started to stick to his forehead due to the sweat. His entire face and chest were incredibly flushed and he looked like a beautiful flustered mess. "Faster." He pleaded. 

Levi complied. He increased his speed and almost immediately hit Eren's sweet spot, sending him off the edge with his back bowing off the bed and making slurs of Levi's name fly off his tongue. Eren made barely comprehensible sentences, trying to tell Levi not to stop. Levi kept hitting the spot over and over, drawing out as much noise from the brunet as he could. Eren ground his hips down to meet each thrust and unintentionally clawed at Levi's back.

It all became too much too fast. Eren was getting close and he knew he had to warn Levi. "Levi... Levi, I'm gonna- ah!" 

"Me too, baby." Levi went down to connect their lips in a desperate, open-mouth kiss. He took the hand that was holding Eren's and moved it between them to stroke Eren to completion. He sped up again and Eren grabbed a hold of Levi's back with his other hand and moaned into the kiss. His nails dug into Levi and he was positive that he wouldn't last much longer. 

White overtook Eren's vision as he came with a shout, breaking their kiss. Levi came soon after, groaning and resting his head on Eren's chest. When he was finished, he pulled out and laid on top of his fatigued boyfriend. He moved his hand to intertwine their fingers again, and they both shared a blissful silence, only broken by their breathing. 

 

~

 

They both washed up and were now cuddling in bed, holding each other with no intentions of letting go. Eren couldn't have been happier. He only met Levi by being a frequent customer at his work, but now they were lovers. They'd come so far in such little time. Levi was the man of his dreams and he'd be damned if anything was going to take Levi away from him. 

This was what Levi had been waiting for. He found the perfect man who he could see himself loving and cherishing until the end of time. Though, they'd only known each other for less than a year, they had been through so much and Levi couldn't wait to make more memories with Eren. 

Levi gazed down at the gorgeous man laying on his chest. He looked positively ethereal in his peaceful state. "Did you enjoy yourself?" Levi asked, weaving his fingers through Eren's hair. 

"Yes," Eren murmured. "It was wonderful. What about you?" 

"I loved every minute of it." Levi replied, tightening his grip on Eren.

At last, the ruthless voices that always haunted Eren finally showed him mercy.

'Did you see that face? He's so happy to be with you.'

'Found yourself a keeper.'

'He loves you so much, you're so lucky.'

'You didn't screw up with him, good job.'

'Looks, muscles, kind, gentle, caring, funny, he's the whole package... and he's all yours.'

'He's a good cuddler too, you sure scored on that one.'

'He's so infatuated with you.'

'Maybe you do deserve to be this happy.'

Eren hid his face on Levi's chest. He was so overwhelmed with emotion and joy, he could feel tears coming on. 

Levi heard Eren sniffle and jumped with concern. "Eren? What's wrong?"

Eren lifted his head, wiping at his eyes. "Nothing... I just love you so much. I'm so happy with you and I never thought I'd get to this point with you."

"Come here." Levi beckoned him to lay down closer to his face. "I love you too, more than anything and nothing could ever change that. You're my precious sweetheart." He kissed Eren to punctuate his statement. 

Eren smiled at him when they parted and felt more tears spilling over, though he had no desire to be rid of them. Tears of joy were always welcomed by him. They came so rarely, but he had a feeling they'd be more frequent now. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Levi's grin matched his. "Sounds like a plan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a wreck right now. The last chapter of my first (real) multi chapter fic. This is a big deal for me. *holds up award* I'd like to thank everyone who left kudos, everyone who bookmarked this, every person who left a comment, (you guys are too sweet) and everybody who has stuck with this fic from start to finish. Those who have done all four, meet me backstage, we havin a party up in here. No, but in all seriousness, it's been so much fun writing this and seeing all the kind feedback. You guys are awesome. Maybe I'll make this a series and add two or three one shots, who knows? I hope you all loved this story as much as I loved writing it. Obviously, this won't be my last fic. I'm working on this other one, Don't Let Your Guard Down. In case you haven't started reading it, it would be nice if you checked it out. I'm super excited about it and it's going to be so long, holy shoot. I feel like I had a lot more to say but it's escaping me right now, so I'll wrap this up. I post all my fics, art and update on my progress with fics on my tumblr, which is dr-s--art. So if you want updates, they'll be posted there. I didn't edit this entire thing so sorry for any errors! 
> 
> Lastly, thank you so much for reading!  
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Tell me in a comment or leave a kudos if you liked it! I post all my fics & art on my tumblr which is dr-a--art if you wanna check it out. Thank you sooo much for reading, I'll be writing again soon!


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